Need Some Advice About My Step Daughter. She Is 3 Almost 4. Keep That In Mind As You Read This Please. No Bashing Preferred Please.

[Mrs.TMiller]

To explain the situation my stepdaughter is almost 4, she will be 4 may 2nd. She lives with her mom but we get her every other weekend. we have her on Friday and we take her home on Sunday. Sadly there are younger siblings in each home. My daughter is almost 18 months old and her sister that lives with her mom and step father is 7 months old. Very recently she has been acting out and not listening period. She has been put in time out, i have even had talks with her and gone to spanking her if i absolutely have too. Nothing seems to faze her when she does something shes not suppose too. I am assuming its because she isn't the center of attention anymore since she has younger siblings in each home and both parents have married since they split. Or if its due to there being lack of discipline at her mothers home. All she does is tell her no and barely puts her in time out and so when we get her she just doesn't want to listen on top of being mean to her sister, throwing things, saying bad words, and such things. She has a bad attitude quite often and it has seem to get worse. Is there anything you would recommend i try because i have to use threatening her with her father to get her to listen or waking him up to take care of it and it seems that only works for 10 minutes tops. I don't now if its just a bunch of things being put together that are causing her to rebel and act out or what but some advice to help would be appreciated. thanks and no bashing please. And if you have any questions that i didn't add in here that you may need answers to understand it better please don't hesitate to ask.

[stuckinamess]

If it's the attention thing remember "negative attention is better than no attention". I'm not implying that you aren't giving her any attention at all, but in her 4 year old mind she may feel like she isn't getting attention.

I would try having a "positive" day. Try to not use No. Not saying let her get away with things, but instead of just saying no perhaps offering choices. Try to catch her doing good things and praise her. Show her that better and more attention comes from good behavior than bad.

[myouroboros]

Sounds like a normal 3 almost 4 year old to me.  Just be consistent.

[jridgill]

 This is great advice.

Quoting stuckinamess:

If it's the attention thing remember "negative attention is better than no attention". I'm not implying that you aren't giving her any attention at all, but in her 4 year old mind she may feel like she isn't getting attention.

I would try having a "positive" day. Try to not use No. Not saying let her get away with things, but instead of just saying no perhaps offering choices. Try to catch her doing good things and praise her. Show her that better and more attention comes from good behavior than bad.

 

[ambermario4ever]

i agree with this also you could take her out for a special day just the two of you 

Quoting stuckinamess:

If it's the attention thing remember "negative attention is better than no attention". I'm not implying that you aren't giving her any attention at all, but in her 4 year old mind she may feel like she isn't getting attention.

I would try having a "positive" day. Try to not use No. Not saying let her get away with things, but instead of just saying no perhaps offering choices. Try to catch her doing good things and praise her. Show her that better and more attention comes from good behavior than bad.

[SuzyQ007]

 Maybe she wants to spend some time with daddy and he is sleeping instead of being with her?

[brittany21921]

The father HAS to do the disipline. If she gets no disipline at her moms then it will be extremely hard. The father and you have to be on the same page, consistency is key. Make a reward chart, for everything nice and polite she does she gets a sticker. Bad behavior (tantrums) gets ignored or she goes to her room if it is not safe to ignore(opening front door, climbing on cabinets). Once she realizes that your not going to give her attention for bad behavior she will ge it right but if you have her eow then it will tae a month or two be patient and consistent.

[Susan262]

When my daughter was 3 she was a lot like that.  I had more problems that year than I did with the 2 year old.  She may get better soon, but just be consistant and I probably wouldn't spank if you can keep from it. Seems like she has enough to deal with right now.

[Mackenzie40]

 

 I feel so sad for this little girl =(

[MommyAmanda725]

Does her mom know you spank her??

[MaeHamMomma]

 Positive reinforcement works pretty well for my children. If my almost three years old keeps acting out we send (put) him in his room and make him lay down. Most often his acting out is due to sleepiness. My older two act out for attention. We ignore the bad and reward the good.

Good luck!