ugh inlaws (vent) some cussing *UPDATE* another 1 on pg 7

[JAJA_Steele]

 So my husband and I have been married for 6 years in Sept, never cared for my FIL as he is a drunk and has treated my husband like shit his entire life. My MIL I adored, I could go to her and talk to her about anything. She was wonderful and loving and great.

When DH and I started having kids things changed. We now have 3 and I can't wait to get our youngest out of the hospital, get the appointments done and move my family as far away from DH's parents as possible.

For starters Justin, Autumn, and Joshua are Jeremy and my kids NO ONE ELSE'S, yet my in laws seem to think that our kids are their's as well. I have caught his parents a couple times referring to themselves as mommy and daddy and when confronted it's automatically "I didn't mean it like that". We asked them time and time again to quit smoking around our kids, but they kept doing it so we quit taking our kids over there. Our youngest son is a little over 4 months old and while my MIL keeps checking on him my stupid FIL never said a word until 1 week ago (literally) and all he said was "When is the OTHER ONE getting out?" UGH you stupid fuck the "other one" has a name and his name is Joshua, and you know this because it has been mentioned 100,000 times.

Justin's birthday he turned 2 last July they showered him with gifts, Autumn's turned 1 on New Years Eve, they had money to go out to get drunk 3-4 times a week yet Autumn still has not received a gift nor card and we are almost into April.

Christmas morning I get up (Santa always leaves the gifts in the middle of the night) and in front of we got out kids, was a bike for Justin with a big red bow on it, Not a thing for Autumn or Joshua! (The bike should have never been there in the first place, we are Santa to our kids) If you can't do for all 3 then don't do for any, my kids don't understand how come one gets a toy but the others shouldn't and they shouldn't have to be made to understand that, Jeremy and I both agree that things should be equal. When they get older then yes they will realize the separation in birthdays, but until then they are all small and don't understand the difference.

I just got off the phone with my MIL which led me to this post! She called to tell me not to do Easter Baskets for the kids because they are doing them, I told her we already bought the stuff, that as a parent's right we are playing Easter Bunny to our kids, like she got to do for DH while growing up. (Actually from the time DH was 10 he spent Christmas's and birthdays alone because they went to the bar, breaks my heart and makes me cry, but that's a whole other post). My MIL then told me to take the stuff we bought back that they were going to do the Easter baskets for the kids because it's a grandparents right, then hung up on me.

I feel as if I am trying to fight to stay the mommy to my 3 because I feel like his parents are trying to take over. I am waiting for a call back from DH right now, chances are his parents won't be seeing the kids on Easter anyways, but I wanted to let him know what was going on and see how he wanted to handle things. I am not sure what I can do anymore! I beat myself up everyday because I didn't spend Christmas 2007 with my mom, because DH's mom just had to have her way, my mom passed away 2 months later. OK now that I am crying I guess it's the time to say Thank you for reading

If anyone has any advice on how I should handle things please let me know! It's a constant battle. Sorry this is long. 

So I just called my MIL back even though my DH said he would call and basically tell her off, I told her

#1 If you ever expect to be apart of Jeremy and I's kids lives then do NOT bitch me out then hang up on me ever again, you will treat me with respect.

#2 While I appreciate the fact that you wanted to do the kids Easter baskets, your not going to! However if you would like to buy ALL 3 kids an Easter outfit (they do that on his side of the family) to wear for Easter I would be more than delighted for you to do so.

I then told her if she couldn't respect Jeremy and I's wishes then she wouldn't see them at all.

I left the hag speechless, I am feeling much better now!

[Elizabeth_]

I sympathize oh boy do I ever.. I was pretty close to my MIL until DH and I had a baby.. and the same kind of things started happening.. in fact, she even tried to take our daughter from us (long story) anyways.. yeah, we don't talk to her and since we stopped talking to her she has befriended my exhusband... it's really strange.

as for advice.. I would just put my foot down and tell her you're the parent and she needs to respect your boundaries as a parent or she will no longer be welcome to be part of your family.

[periwinkle163]

I would try to set some boundaries tell them that while you appreciate the help you will be in charge of Easter. As for the gifts I'd tell them exactly what you said either do for all or for none, and stick to your guns. Inlaw troubles are tough, but you know you're doing what's right for your kids.

[rainmommy]

Id quit including ur inlaws in holiday things i wouldnt be puting up with it thats for sure my kids get told that santa left them presents at my moms n my mil n we have a strick understanding if u can spoil one then u will spoil all or not see them

[IMAMOMx4]

i am sorry to hear whats going on. 

Even if you MIL wants to give the kids easter baskets so be it, but don't take your stuff back.  You can be easter bunny....and the others can be gifts from grandma and grandpa.  

IF your dh won't talk to them about needing to back off then you need to do it.  They are your kids, and if need be stand up to her.  IF she can't handle it cut them off.  Good Luck.

[JAJA_Steele]

 Thank you ladies! It helps to hear that from you

[countrygirlkat]

I am so sorry to hear about all this.  I don't have any advice, but here is a big hug.  I am so glad you and your DH are on the same page though.  That has to help a lot that he feels the same way you do.

[sophistcatdfury]

i am so sorry. my inlaws haven't reached that breed of terrible yet, but my FIL stopped drinking 5 years ago. i have about 5 posts worth of venting about my in-laws but i could never make sense of it. they're so fucked up i wouldn't even know where to start. all i can say is put your foot down NOW. after my MIL fed my daughter too much frosting when she was 6mos old we cut them out of our lives for a little bit because they refused to accept that we were the parents.

[MsDean]

 Your MIl has no right to tell you to take Easter basket stuff back. Tell her she could bring her Easter stuff for the kids and you will give them what you bought them. My fil is a dick but my mil always sends the kids stuff on Easter and we get them a basket to. I don't understand why your mil thinks that they can only have 1.

[ariesp19]

all i can say is, DONT LET THEM WALK ALL OVER YOU youare mommy..... dont do what they ask

[JAJA_Steele]

 Country - yeah we are on the same page and it truly helps, DH called back and I started crying again, he said "Good job on standing your ground, now it's my turn lol"

Sophis - We have cut them off once before but his mom is a huge "I am going to make you feel bad" kind of person, whenever we tell her no to something then here comes the guilt trip of ALL that they have done for us.

I swear I need a blog people would get a kick out of the things that My in laws have done!