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Would you still consider your self a parent if...

Posted by on Apr. 1, 2010 at 4:50 AM
  • 28 Replies

You gave your child up for addoption. It honestly doesn't matter why to me. But i'm wondering, would you still call your self a parent? would you stay in contact with said child?

I know this might turn into drama fast but I'm not tryin to be rude, I'm curious is all.

by on Apr. 1, 2010 at 4:50 AM
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Replies (1-10):
helloistaken
by on Apr. 1, 2010 at 4:53 AM

Can't answer personally cause i couldn't do it, but yes they are still parents...

angieluvsolivia
by on Apr. 1, 2010 at 4:53 AM

I don't know, I guess.  If I ever did it I would want an open adoption to be able to have contact with the child.

2gud2btrue
by on Apr. 1, 2010 at 4:53 AM

 i had a child.  i'm not her parent.  she has new parents now.

Sparkyfire
by Gold Member on Apr. 1, 2010 at 4:55 AM

do you stay in contact or get updates?

Quoting 2gud2btrue:

 i had a child.  i'm not her parent.  she has new parents now.


JAJA_Steele
by on Apr. 1, 2010 at 4:56 AM

 For myself no I couldn't, to me a parent is more than just giving birth.

NattysMommy
by on Apr. 1, 2010 at 4:57 AM

 I agree

Quoting JAJA_Steele:

 For myself no I couldn't, to me a parent is more than just giving birth.

 

kiralyn
by on Apr. 1, 2010 at 4:57 AM

i really have no idea how i would feel in that situation.

2gud2btrue
by on Apr. 1, 2010 at 4:59 AM

 no.  i did at first.  it just became too hard for me emotionally.  especially now.  now my life is completely different and i'd be able to care for her just fine and so it became harder and harder to not let that consume my thoughts.  it just became best for me to remove myself.  i think open adoptions are not good for many birth parents.  it makes it much harder to sever the ties and IMO you have to sever it to really get that your child isnt yours anymore. 

her parents know how to reach my parents in case they ever need to talk to me, and they know that if she ever desires to know more about me i will be there for that.

Quoting Sparkyfire:

do you stay in contact or get updates?

Quoting 2gud2btrue:

 i had a child.  i'm not her parent.  she has new parents now.

 

 


Cafeolait
by on Apr. 1, 2010 at 4:59 AM

My adopted friends and family have said their birth parents are biological parents, but not real parents....I think there is a big difference. Although all the people I know have had closed adoptions and almost all have no interest in meeting birth parents. I think it would be very difficult to not feel like you are the parent.....I think giving up a child to a loving family is one of the most selfless thing you can do!

Sparkyfire
by Gold Member on Apr. 1, 2010 at 5:01 AM

I gotta admit you are a stronger woman than me. The fact you were able to pick what was best for your child instead of being selfish makes me want to hug you.

Personally I don't think I could do it unless absolutely necessary. but that's just me.

Quoting 2gud2btrue:

 no.  i did at first.  it just became too hard for me emotionally.  especially now.  now my life is completely different and i'd be able to care for her just fine and so it became harder and harder to not let that consume my thoughts.  it just became best for me to remove myself.  i think open adoptions are not good for many birth parents.  it makes it much harder to sever the ties and IMO you have to sever it to really get that your child isnt yours anymore. 

her parents know how to reach my parents in case they ever need to talk to me, and they now that if she ever desires to know more about me i will be there for that.

Quoting Sparkyfire:

do you stay in contact or get updates?

Quoting 2gud2btrue:

 i had a child.  i'm not her parent.  she has new parents now.


 


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