Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

I need help talking to my younger sister

Posted by on Apr. 1, 2010 at 7:11 PM
  • 3 Replies

She is turning 21 on Easter.

Our mom died when I was 11 and she was 5. We have different fathers so we grew up in different states. We visited each other every summer and have remained close.

When I was 20, I got pregnant and married. My husband is a Marine. From the outside it looks perfect.

Last summer she met a Marine on craigslist and started dating him. She got pregnant but chose abortion because she was living at home and her dad pressured her.

She regrets her decision. She tells me that she wants to wait until she graduates from college and gets married but her actions say otherwise. She has not used any form of protection since the abortion. He tells her that he wants to make babies with her (which makes her feel loved). They do not see eye to eye on religion or spiritual beliefs. Other than that they are a good couple. I think he is irresponsible because he has been NJP'ed twice in 3 years.

He left 13 days ago for deployment and will return for R & R in 6 months. Luckily, she won't be getting pregnant right now. Our other sister is pregnant and I can tell that our youngest sister seems so jealous. She wants to be pregnant.

Should I encourage her to wait?

How can I help her understand that it's not like playing house?

She is almost finished with college. I really want her to complete school before having a baby.

Most of all, I want her to be honest with herself and others. I don't understand why she SAYS she wants to wait but behind closed doors she is not trying to prevent pregnancy (she confessed after spending a week at my house). Why can't she just admit that she is ready to start a family? Why lie?

She wants to be treated like a responsible adult but she lies....a lot!


by on Apr. 1, 2010 at 7:11 PM
Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Replies (1-3):
Amom4BabyDude
by on Apr. 1, 2010 at 7:15 PM

I would come right out with it and explain to her that using no birth control is the same as ttc.  Tell her she's made it so far that she should at least use birth control until she is finished with school because having a baby is HARD...if you know anyone with a young baby possibly having her watch the baby for a weekend would be a good idea. 

hopinforanother
by on Apr. 1, 2010 at 7:25 PM

I have 3 kids...including a 7 m/o...she says he is at a great age. She gets frustrated with my children, but she doesn't want 3...she just wants 1.

Thanks for the advise. I will just encourage her to finish school.

Quoting Amom4BabyDude:

I would come right out with it and explain to her that using no birth control is the same as ttc.  Tell her she's made it so far that she should at least use birth control until she is finished with school because having a baby is HARD...if you know anyone with a young baby possibly having her watch the baby for a weekend would be a good idea. 


reecenkaden
by on Apr. 1, 2010 at 7:27 PM

Tell her that while motherhood is one of the greatest and harrowing experiences of ones lifetime, you should live a little so you know the difference.

Kids are always cuter when you can walk away from the snot/shit/tantrums.

 




HIDE YOUR DAUGHTERS!!!


I <3 my Stalker

Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)