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Does it really build character??

Posted by on Apr. 1, 2010 at 9:18 PM
  • 16 Replies

I may be a tad bit over protective but I only take dd to play with kids that are just as nice and sweet as she is. My dd has only been around people that think she is the coolest thing since sliced bread. All our family adores her and we are really sweet to her.  My dd is super compassionate, and loves to help people, she is very loving and gentle. Every so often we meet some of those little girls that are just mean. Bossy, pushy, don't share, hit, and always making demands. We don't allow dd to do that with her brother because we don't feel it is right.  I am with her all the time, even in the programs she is in I go with her. I make sure that she is treated right, and that she behaving.  I have spoke to mothers who say that being around mean, bossy, aggressive kids build character and they have to get used to it because in school they will encounter those type of personalities. I am leaning twords homeschooling so I never worried about that. As she gets older she will learn to deal with those personalities but for now I dont think she should have to at three. Anywho just was wondering if anyone else does this? Also do you believe it builds character for a child to be around all different personalities??




by on Apr. 1, 2010 at 9:18 PM
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frndlyfn
by Emerald Member on Apr. 1, 2010 at 9:35 PM

I allow dd to be around all sorts of people aside from convicted child abusers (long story).   I started about when she was 2 yo so that she knew it was ok to tell mommy or daddy if someone pushed her at the playground.  At 3, i would let her do activities at safe places - libraries, parks we know really well, from a distance from me.  It has helped her confidence in herself to explore past a 3 ft radius of mommy.

I want her to learn to be more confident than i am even now as an adult.  It has set me back in many ways. That doesnt mean i dont keep a close eye on her but if she wanted to do a class by herself, i would let her.   I am hoping to get her into preschool this coming fall.

Ms.Upinyourface
by on Apr. 1, 2010 at 9:59 PM

That is a good question.

I had an out going boy. He was the entire otherside of the spectrum from the sweetie girl. I noticed that the sweet little girls were also very thought ful befor taking actions.

My boy is and was so kind at heart. But he was in motion and interactive and on the go go go!

I think that Moms are smart to follow the inclinations that they have. I think that by looking into things deeply, as you are, and considering carefully, which you do ,will make it so that any option you find that you feel good with, is going to be a good choice.

Charactor is built . It is true. I think no matter what course you choose you are well equipt to help your child build a good one.

mnmsmom2008
by on Apr. 1, 2010 at 10:02 PM

I wouldn't say it builds character but it definitely teaches important life skills such as dealing with an agressor and asserting herself in situations.  No, she definitely doesn't need to learn these things today at 3 years old but she does need to learn them at some point.  She needs to have thick enough skin to deal with the real world, you can not shield her from the harsh reality of life forever..... even though we all wish we could.

ILive4This
by on Apr. 1, 2010 at 10:02 PM

Yes, I do believe it builds character, and it doesn't change who they are...or, it shouldn't.  Being exposed to a little of that, at 3, isn't a big deal...at least not to me.  Even from a young age, they need to start learning what the world is like, outside their coccoon.  I don't mean to deluge them...but, a little taste of it isn't a bad thing.

Radarma
by Platinum Member on Apr. 1, 2010 at 10:03 PM

Very good question!

misssy2000
by Ruby Member on Apr. 1, 2010 at 10:04 PM

yea, I know that but I just figured she has alot of time to deal with those type of people. I was bullied alot in school and I dont think that I can say it taught me anything just to try and be invisable. My dd is very out going and fearless I tjink that has alot to do with her feeling comfortable.

Quoting mnmsmom2008:

I wouldn't say it builds character but it definitely teaches important life skills such as dealing with an agressor and asserting herself in situations.  No, she definitely doesn't need to learn these things today at 3 years old but she does need to learn them at some point.  She needs to have thick enough skin to deal with the real world, you can not shield her from the harsh reality of life forever..... even though we all wish we could.





SylviaNCali
by Silver Member on Apr. 1, 2010 at 10:07 PM

 No It doesn't. What builds good character is a child being around good people and kids. If they're around bad kids they will have the chance to build bad character espeically when young and impressionable. People keep forgetting a child is not an adult and they do emulate more because of their age. If being around bad equated being something good we all should be hanging around the baddest people we can find so that we too have build ourselves a little more. Doesn't make sense when you think about it.

Radarma
by Platinum Member on Apr. 1, 2010 at 10:09 PM

I think I am going to simply agree with you Missy. At three, there will be plenty of days to learn about those not so kind.

I will say that she should be enjoying some non familial peers at this point; whether that be via a neighborhood park or preschool etc.

 

hedtrippe
by on Apr. 1, 2010 at 10:11 PM

You can't protect her from the "bullies" forever.I feel being to protective is bad.

misssy2000
by Ruby Member on Apr. 1, 2010 at 10:13 PM

I know but at three her little world can be bully free. Bullies never made my life any better. She has lots of freinds, and loves all kids and I want her to stay that way she speaks her mind, and feels free to be herself which is what I want for her. She does not know to fear anyone so she is free to be herself.

Quoting hedtrippe:

You can't protect her from the "bullies" forever.I feel being to protective is bad.





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