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Is this harsh?

Posted by on Apr. 19, 2010 at 9:17 AM
  • 38 Replies

 My boyfriends a great guy or has been until recently.. Lately I can't depend on him for anything.  He will even be the one to offer and I'm like great thanks that would really help me out and then when it gets to the last minute he changes his mind.  Usually it is when it concerns my daughter.  I work night shift and most days that its my first day she goes to her nanas by 8:30am and I am home around 9:30.. Last week he offered to take her for me I thought YES I get to sleep in for once and today he was suppose to take my tire to get fixed because, I almost have a flat and to take her.. it is 9:15 and hes still not home hasn't even left work and its a hour and half drive and he hasn't left because of his option.. this may be petty but I'm tired of having no one to depend on. 

Long story short.. he is attempting to get joint custody of his son because, the verbal agreement they worked out isn't being kept.  I will be responsible for watching his son when hes working.. if he can't help me out with my daughter why should I help him out with his son.  If it comes to dropping her off or picking her up or basically doing anything other than playing with her he doesn't want to do it.. am I wrong to tell him he either steps it up or I'm not watching his son..?

 

I'm sorry if this doesnt make sense I'm annoyed and tired I stayed up all night because, I thought I could sleep all day for work.

Lilypie

by on Apr. 19, 2010 at 9:17 AM
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Replies (1-10):
sandra_t00
by Ruby Member on Apr. 19, 2010 at 9:19 AM

I dont think I could be with a man that doesnt care about my child

Just_Bethy
by on Apr. 19, 2010 at 9:22 AM

 I think the way you have worded your argument is wrong...If you won't watch mine I am not watching yours...isn't really your point...I think ...If you can't be responsible with my daughter ...how are you going to care for your own child???....sounds more like what the problem is without attacking him...

CarterMommy
by on Apr. 19, 2010 at 9:22 AM

 this... i think you two definitley need to have a talk

Quoting sandra_t00:

I dont think I could be with a man that doesnt care about my child

 

nemiller
by on Apr. 19, 2010 at 9:26 AM

i wouldn't want to take on more responsibility, either.  especially for someone who can't be bothered to at least follow through with the promises they make.  i'd just let him know that he needs to show me some consistent improvement or there will be issues.  but i don't know that i'd actually refuse to watch the boy.  mostly just because i'm thinking in terms of it being me and my son... my son loves having someone to play with, so if they got along i'd probably do it just for that reason.

josiphene
by on Apr. 19, 2010 at 9:31 AM

 I would tell him that you have enough to worry about with your child and since you have to care for her alone and you won't be able to handle another child right now.It will make him mad but might get him to help out more. BTW how long have you guys been in a serious relationship, and where is your dd's bio dad

ILive4This
by on Apr. 19, 2010 at 9:38 AM

Why would he even WANT his son, if he is as selfish as he sounds?  Oh, I know....so YOU can take care of him.  I don't think the poor boy should suffer....but, I would not want to take on another kid, if I knew the father of that child, was not going to help, AT ALL.  Irresponsible and selfish.

crwspringer
by Platinum Member on Apr. 19, 2010 at 9:39 AM

i also agree with this.

Quoting CarterMommy:

 this... i think you two definitley need to have a talk

Quoting sandra_t00:

I dont think I could be with a man that doesnt care about my child

 


Crazy-Steph
by Ruby Member on Apr. 19, 2010 at 9:39 AM

I totally agree.

Is "your" daughter also "his" daughter?

Quoting CarterMommy:

 this... i think you two definitley need to have a talk

Quoting sandra_t00:

I dont think I could be with a man that doesnt care about my child

 


mstricey
by on Apr. 19, 2010 at 9:40 AM

I couldn't be with someone who didn't help me with my child. Especially if you are living together and plan to be in it for good. You should confront him about your concerns, but also if he gets custody of his son you are expected to help him out if you alls relationship is that serious. Personaly I wouldn't not be involved with his son because he is being stupid. It does sound like he needs to step up big time though.

fallen018
by on Apr. 19, 2010 at 9:42 AM

I have the same problem...So does not help out with my daughter or with his 8 month old son, but when he brings his other kids over am supposed to be the care taker...I would tell him straight you dont help me why should I helpt you you can obviously say better than that, but the point is if you dont say anything you will be resentful towards him because you get to be his babysitter and he gets to do nothing.

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