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good touch bad touch.... how do you teach your kids? and what age?

Posted by on Apr. 19, 2010 at 11:26 AM
  • 21 Replies

i used to tell them all the time....

when they were babies, id just say 'this is ______(insert name)s privet spot'

as they grew, id tell them 'we only touch here to wash and change diapers'

my sister brought up that i should tell them about drs check ups also..... cause i think my teaching is working, lol.... cause when i took my 4 year old to his 4 year check up, and the dr was checking his spot, he freeked!!!! so im going to start talking about that also, lol.....

my sister says 'no one touches your privets unless they are keeping you clean and healthy' short, and to the point! so thats what ive started useing

studies show that teachign our kids as early as 6 months(even if they cant understand)not only reduces the chance someone will target them, but also increases the chance they will come forward and tell mom and dad, or a trusted adult

CafeMom Tickers

by on Apr. 19, 2010 at 11:26 AM
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Replies (1-10):
ECMOM970
by on Apr. 19, 2010 at 11:32 AM

It is NOT good touch/bad touch becuase a lot of touches can be bad - not just the sexual ones! Also...always teach your children the correct name for their Penis/Vagina that way if anything ever did happen to them it is not a guessing game during an interview! You teach your children from the start that their bodies are theirs and that NO ONE has the right to touch you unless they are keeping you clean but so many times perps use this as why they are doing it! You need to limited the people allowed to touch them there and when they are able to clean themselves then NO ONE touches them but themselves!

I did CPS casework for 8 years and this was my area of speciality and still is to this day!

Chrystal_A
by on Apr. 19, 2010 at 11:32 AM

 I totally thought about this yesterday.Im going to tell my 4 yr old no one should see him naked except me ,daddy and a few relatives and tell him no one can touch it except me or daddy.I think when he goes to the dr and tells me the dr touched his ___ Ill tell him thank you for telling me and leave it at that.Im always in the room with my son but doctors are twisted so rather than to give permission for them to touch him there i will just take the opertunity for him to tell me.

ECMOM970
by on Apr. 19, 2010 at 11:34 AM

Also...do not make sex a "sin" "drity" or "wrong" because then kids are less likely to tell you cause they feel that they will be in trouble! Also tell them it is okay to tell you anything and that you aren't going to be mad at them!

SugarGuru
by on Apr. 19, 2010 at 11:41 AM

my ds is 3....... when i started potty training him (if he has an accident he changes himself).....i told him that was his "weiner" and no one was allowed to see it or touch it except him.....

now he covers himself and tells us to close our eyes so we don't see his weiner....especially around his sister

ariesp19
by on Apr. 19, 2010 at 11:58 AM


Quoting ECMOM970:

Also...do not make sex a "sin" "drity" or "wrong" because then kids are less likely to tell you cause they feel that they will be in trouble! Also tell them it is okay to tell you anything and that you aren't going to be mad at them!

ya... but thats a bit too much to explain to a 2 or 4 year old.... what wording would you use? my sister says the only good touch is cleaning and keeping you healthy.... as they get older, going more into details, and such, ok.... but there is no way my 4 year old, who has a speach delay btw, would understand all of what you said(here, or i the pp, lol)......

sex is not a no no in our house... we dont hide it... we dont think hiding it even at there age is the way to go, cause we dont want them to think its bad, or wrong, or anything like that... so we practice being open and honest........ within reason for there ages, lol.....

he knows mommy has boobies, and he has a weaner.. he cant say the 'real' word yet, and we dont use weaner for anything else, lol.....

so, as an ex cps worker, how would you sugest wording it, and for what ages?

CafeMom Tickers

ariesp19
by on Apr. 19, 2010 at 12:01 PM

i know what you mean... im always in the drs office with them..... my oldest has speach issues, so im useing what my sister sugested at this point for both, i tell them the only good touch, from anyone, is keeping you healthy, or clean.... when he gets older, before i stop being in there with him, ill teach him more.... also, i teach them to fallow there instints.... though they dont get that yet.... but i hope that when they are older, they will understand and tell mommy if someone makes them feel bad.....

but ya, he compleetly freeked at his last check up, lol... when they dr went to check 'his' parts, lol...

Quoting Chrystal_A:

 I totally thought about this yesterday.Im going to tell my 4 yr old no one should see him naked except me ,daddy and a few relatives and tell him no one can touch it except me or daddy.I think when he goes to the dr and tells me the dr touched his ___ Ill tell him thank you for telling me and leave it at that.Im always in the room with my son but doctors are twisted so rather than to give permission for them to touch him there i will just take the opertunity for him to tell me.


CafeMom Tickers

amayabrianna
by on Apr. 19, 2010 at 12:06 PM

 I have taught my kids since they were about 9 or 10 months old. No one but mommy, daddy, the doctor, or nana touches here and they can only touch to clean or look and keep healthy. They are now 2 and 4 and they know...

wheresthewayout
by on Apr. 19, 2010 at 12:13 PM

I have 4 kids ages 23 to 5 and I told them about their body parts and how they are theirs only, that nobody but mommy and the Dr. should touch them in those areas that are theirs and theirs alone. That if they ever do get touched in those private personal areas that they need to tell a grownup, doesn't matter which one or whom just be sure to tell someone. I also would re affirm the fact hat if they were ever touched by anybody that mommy or daddy would never be mad and they will always be loved no matter what.

I have always used the correct names for body parts, except my son's dad wants to word "stinger" to be iised because he doesn't like the word, penis. I call it a penis anyway.

isra1986
by on Apr. 19, 2010 at 12:15 PM

I have always taught DD like your sister.
Her private areas are only for Mommy, Daddy and doctors to touch when they are cleaning it.

kimila1974
by on Apr. 19, 2010 at 12:17 PM

 I have always told my children that if any touch made them uncomfortable to get away and tell me or their dad immediately. Kids have an excellent 6th sense about how they feel about anyone.

 

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