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Child Custody? for those who went or going through this

Posted by on Apr. 19, 2010 at 6:09 PM
  • 7 Replies

well i think about going and get a court order custody for my son, since the other day my ex(son father) wrote a email freaking out about giving our son a mohawk, and saying i wasnt raising him right. For those who dont know my son father is in Iraq and will be back in next month so i want to get this done soon. He wrote back the next day apologize and saying he was sorry that he just stressed out and hate not being here for his son.i understand he , but this isnt the first time he freaked out on me. Well i told him i want to go through court and get the arrangement and stuff set up anyways. well he want to them our self and not get it court ordered.

So here my question

What are the pro and cons of making you own child custody arrangements?

What are the pro and cons of having the child coustody done through court?

And if you did it your self, did you go back later and go through court?

(I am not here to get a lesson in grammar and proper writing, I here to make friends, give and receive advice and to have fun. If you don't like it, keep you big mouth shut.)
by on Apr. 19, 2010 at 6:09 PM
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Replies (1-7):
reecenkaden
by on Apr. 19, 2010 at 6:13 PM

They will send you to mediation, where you will have to sit down with him and talk to him about with a court appointed surpervisor there. It's pretty tame.

The only reason to not do it this way is with a history of violence or if you are truly terrified of his reactions/behavior.

You can write it out and both sign it before a notary and submit it to the court as your parenting plan if you both agree to something and don't want to shell out the $75 to let the man in the suit 'help' you.

treversmommy
by on Apr. 19, 2010 at 6:22 PM

So if im getting this straight will will sit in front of a person, i quessing lawyer or appoinent notetry from court, And make the arragment are self, then the court looks over them and we get a notarty to sign.

Just making sure i never down anything before so i confused.

Quoting reecenkaden:

They will send you to mediation, where you will have to sit down with him and talk to him about with a court appointed surpervisor there. It's pretty tame.

The only reason to not do it this way is with a history of violence or if you are truly terrified of his reactions/behavior.

You can write it out and both sign it before a notary and submit it to the court as your parenting plan if you both agree to something and don't want to shell out the $75 to let the man in the suit 'help' you.


(I am not here to get a lesson in grammar and proper writing, I here to make friends, give and receive advice and to have fun. If you don't like it, keep you big mouth shut.)
reecenkaden
by on Apr. 19, 2010 at 6:27 PM

You can work it out between youselves outside of court, take it to a notary and sign it and get it notarized, then turn it into the local courthouse and you have a custody agreement and parenting plan.

Or you could do it through the court, they'll charge 15 times as much as a notary, and you'll get the same thing.

If you two can be civil to each other I'd do it outside of court, than submit it to be legal. If you can't I recommend doing it through the court.

If anything changes you can rework your parenting plan in or out of court and change it. This includes child support. Just get it notarized and submitted to your local courthouse.

Quoting treversmommy:

So if im getting this straight will will sit in front of a person, i quessing lawyer or appoinent notetry from court, And make the arragment are self, then the court looks over them and we get a notarty to sign.

Just making sure i never down anything before so i confused.

Quoting reecenkaden:

They will send you to mediation, where you will have to sit down with him and talk to him about with a court appointed surpervisor there. It's pretty tame.

The only reason to not do it this way is with a history of violence or if you are truly terrified of his reactions/behavior.

You can write it out and both sign it before a notary and submit it to the court as your parenting plan if you both agree to something and don't want to shell out the $75 to let the man in the suit 'help' you.

 


WAmomof4
by on Apr. 19, 2010 at 6:27 PM

It's always better to go through the courts even if you have a good relationship. You never know if he is going to try and take your child from you and if you have a court order that the child is to live with you he cant legally take him and its also good to have the visitation done through the courts too. That way he can't try to take him whenever he wants.

dre_bunny
by on Apr. 19, 2010 at 6:30 PM

BUMP

Coontzwoman
by on Apr. 19, 2010 at 6:32 PM

From personal experiances, I think doing it through the court is wrong. They then have control of which of you see your child/children. Why let the government have any say in it. Do an agreement betweent he two of you. If your ex is abusive or something then go through the court. But if he is civil and agrees with it and goes by it. Then I would do it personally out of court. I wish I would have never had arrangements through the court. Its what my parents did. I hated it.

treversmommy
by on Apr. 19, 2010 at 7:01 PM

Thanks so much ladies. i still have a lot to think about. I going talk to my lawyer(he my fiance uncle so it free) next week and also get his advice. But i really dont want to pay a but load of money , but his father has an agrue problem. has never hit anyone but has destroyed alot of stuff when he get mad. Plus he has family in different state and i scared if he get mad at me we willrun, even though he swears he want.

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