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I love you

Posted by on Apr. 19, 2010 at 7:15 PM
  • 6 Replies

Ever had a hard time saying it to an SO even though you might be feeling it?

I had a pretty crappy marraige and a crappy divorce. I don't know if that's my problem now or not. But I kinda have the feeling that the "i love yous" might be coming up for the 1st time with my now SO. And I 'm worried that if he says it, I won't be able to say it back. Like I'll feel like the words are there, but won't be able to make them come out of my mouth. And what sucks is that if he does say it, I'll really know he means it because he holds his heart extremly close to him. He is not one to just say something like that flippantly. I'd hate for him to actually say it and for me to not be able to say it back. That would totally kill him I think

Anyone else have this happen to them? You're pretty sure the love is there but had a hard as hell time sayng it? Anyone had it said to them and not been able to say it back? What did you do?

by on Apr. 19, 2010 at 7:15 PM
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Replies (1-6):
kk_bella
by on Apr. 19, 2010 at 7:17 PM

Not dating but I dunno if I will ever be able to say those words to a man again.

nemiller
by on Apr. 19, 2010 at 7:19 PM

the last guy who i had a first "i love you" with was my husband.  we were in high school and he said it to me (after a long, long time).  i felt the same way, but i was so shocked, i couldn't form the words to say it back.  he got his feelings hurt, because he thought i didn't say it because i didn't feel the same way.  i called him the next day and explained why i was acting like a nutbag, and all was well.

i think if you're unsure or anxious about it, don't say it back.  he might get his feelings hurt, but you shoudln't be pressured in declaring feelings that you don't have.  if you DO feel the same way, go ahead and say it back.  it doesn't mean that you have to marry him next week.  you can love him and still need time to be ready for any other steps.

GracieLullaby27
by on Apr. 19, 2010 at 7:19 PM

 

Quoting kk_bella:

Not dating but I dunno if I will ever be able to say those words to a man again.

 That was my fear for a long time too. I was able to say them to one guy but the guy had been a long time friend so the friendship love was already there...but of course that "relationship" turned out like shit and I lost a really good friend. SO maybe Im worried that if I say it to SO, this relationship will turn to shit.

GracieLullaby27
by on Apr. 19, 2010 at 7:49 PM

 bump ladies!!!

coffee.crisp
by on Apr. 19, 2010 at 7:50 PM

Yep.  I'm engaged, getting married in December, and pregnant-- due in September... and I still haven't been able to say "I love you" to my fiance.  I got totally screwed over by my ex and have some pretty serious issues over it :(

CookieQueen67
by on Apr. 19, 2010 at 7:52 PM

 Yes, I have a hard time saying "it". I have been hurt my entire life by people who have used these words. They mean NOTHING to me. I have to feel love not hear it.

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