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Question for moms who have lost a child...

Posted by on May. 2, 2010 at 12:30 PM
  • 6 Replies

One of my best friends had a stillborn baby 8 months ago. I was wondering if it would be offensive to send her flowers or take her out to eat on Mother's Day. He was her only child and the wound is still very fresh and my intentions are good but I just want to hear some feedback on it. Would it be something you would like, or something that would just dredge up things you're trying to avoid on Mother's Day?

by on May. 2, 2010 at 12:30 PM
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Replies (1-6):
hopeledbetter
by on May. 2, 2010 at 12:33 PM

My son was born still as well.. I think flowers are dinner would be a nice thing.. To me he was still my child whether he is here with me today or not, and I'm sure most mothers will tell you the same.. So if you want to do something for a friend i say go for it I'm sure she will appreciate the thought. i know I Would

SassyPainter
by on May. 2, 2010 at 12:35 PM

Good question.  I would say go for it.

mamacita-brown
by on May. 2, 2010 at 1:14 PM

Thanks ladies... I invited her to go out, hopefully she says yes, but if not I will just back off.

lizzie_ann
by Bronze Member on May. 2, 2010 at 1:18 PM

I think it would be a bad idea. I know I don't want to be out in public next Sunday seeing all those happy moms and kids. We went out last year (5 months after) and it was horrible.

Ohiomomto2
by on May. 2, 2010 at 1:20 PM

If she doesn't want to go out for the reasons the PP said, then maybe make her something for dinner at your home or do something where there are no kids.  It's not WHAT you do, it's the fact that you had the sincerity to WANT to do it.  I'm sure that just by your kind thoughts, she will feel blessed to call you her friend.

sallymoon
by on May. 2, 2010 at 5:09 PM

My first son died at 3 days old, my second early in pregnancy.  That first Mother's Day was very hard.  One of my friends sent me a Mother's Day card (she lives out of town, so she couldn't see me in person), and it meant so much to me.  It was nice to have someone else acknowledge that I was still a mother.

Not all bereaved mothers handle Mother's Day the same, so I would recommend asking your friend what she would like to do.  She may want to get out of the house, or she may prefer to stay in.  You sound like a good and thoughtful friend.

Child Passenger Safety Technician

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