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Another post made me think(does anyone do this) edit in red//edit in green

Posted by on May. 2, 2010 at 3:28 PM
  • 24 Replies

So i was reading the post about SAHMs and what they would do is SO left....Well im not a stay at home i work full time cuz its me and my DD I would l love to be at SAHM when im married and if DH makes enough to support us all.....ANYWAYS my mom was a SAHM and I remember her telling me that she had opened up a savings account without telling her DH and whenever he gave her money for groceries or whatever she would buy what was on sale and spend as lil as possible and told him it was more then put the change into the account just incase, and she would sometimes babysitt and put that money in the account as well.... I always thought this was a good idea and always kept it to myself so one day if i needed to i would prob do the same... anyone else would or has done something like this? or could u not lie to hubby? is it lies if he never asks? just wanna know ur thoughts =)

Ok so what if something happens to SO he doesnt leave but heaven forbid something happens to him and u are stuck with nothing and the kids, do u have a back up plan for that? or do the two of u have a back up plan for that, I.e a saving account that he know about but is ment for that sort of thing?

So i have never been a SAHM and never married but i was with DDs dad for 5 years and even tho we both worked he made more then me and we split everything 50/50 so he always had extra and i never did, and I never really saved and i regret it cuz when i finally left his sorry ass it was soooo hard and this is just recently soo im still struggling and wish i would have saved more, so  can only imagine if i wasnt working there would have been no way for me to support myself and DD, becuase of this i think when i do get married i will have a back up plan maybe not this one but will be smarter JUST IN CASE...

by on May. 2, 2010 at 3:28 PM
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Replies (1-10):
Just_Bethy
by on May. 2, 2010 at 3:30 PM

 I have a separate bank account...hubby gives me money to put in it...He knows its there...He knows its mine..its a hang over from my independence from before I was a SAHM...lol...If I ever want or need money...for anything..he gives it to me..every time!

jillbailey26
by on May. 2, 2010 at 3:35 PM

I refuse to stash money from my husband and lie to him about it.  Everything he earns, he brings into this house for US, so I could at least do the same with whatever I earn.


"Let us therefore make every effort to do what leads to peace and to mutual edification"  Romans 14:19


brae425
by on May. 2, 2010 at 3:35 PM

no one else has thoughts about this?

brae425
by on May. 2, 2010 at 3:37 PM

i agree...but do u have a back up plan? even if u think he will never leave? or is their a prenup, is it in ur favor? both? or some type of agreement saying he wont just leave u stranded?

Quoting jillbailey26:

I refuse to stash money from my husband and lie to him about it.  Everything he earns, he brings into this house for US, so I could at least do the same with whatever I earn.


Lunagirl02
by on May. 2, 2010 at 3:37 PM

I had thought about doing it a while back when things were bad with us, but we were both working at the time. I have thought about it now but only as a way to save and get big ticket items for the family...I have a big mouth tho and wouldn't keep it shut..lol

3xangel
by Ruby Member on May. 2, 2010 at 3:38 PM

 i still have MY bank account from when i was working. i get paid to go to school, so after everything is taken care of whatever is left from our money i put it into my account. there is nothing to hide

TXMommy483
by on May. 2, 2010 at 3:38 PM

I was a sahm for 2 years and just now went back to work. I try my best to stash money when I can in a seperate account. The way my relationship is, you just never know when it may come in handy. Some people don't agree with this, but it works for me. My hubby knows I have this savings account, but he doesn't help me to add money to it.

clearascrystal
by on May. 2, 2010 at 3:43 PM

I am a sahm, I think thats a good idea as long as you are honest with your hubby. Honesty is very important in a marriage and its not "his money" or "your money" its "our money" bc in a marriage you share verything.

jillbailey26
by on May. 2, 2010 at 3:43 PM

I don't need a "back up plan" really.  He's not going to leave.  However for the sake of argument, I'm able to get a job and work.  It's not hard where we are.  He would also never leave his kids without anything.  He would always make sure they're taken care of. 

There is no prenup because everything we have, we built together.  Neither of us had much when we got together, lol.

We've been separated before.  We almost got divorced and on the last day, decided not to and worked it out.  How I know that he's not going to leave me is because he's seen the grass on the other side (without me) and didn't like it.  Also, while we were separated and while I was looking for a job, he payed all the bills and everything and wasn't even living with us.

That's how I know that he's not leaving and I don't need a backup plan :)

Quoting brae425:

i agree...but do u have a back up plan? even if u think he will never leave? or is their a prenup, is it in ur favor? both? or some type of agreement saying he wont just leave u stranded?

Quoting jillbailey26:

I refuse to stash money from my husband and lie to him about it.  Everything he earns, he brings into this house for US, so I could at least do the same with whatever I earn.




"Let us therefore make every effort to do what leads to peace and to mutual edification"  Romans 14:19


Daynaof3
by on May. 2, 2010 at 3:46 PM

 I think even in the best of relationships that would be a good idea. What if something happened to your SO/DH and vice versa. I see nothing wrong with having a bank account separate for either or both you and your hubby.

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