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Need advice please! My 2 yr dd won't share and is MEAN!!!!

Posted by on May. 2, 2010 at 10:56 PM
  • 4 Replies


Hello Ladies,

Today we went to Church and my twins b/g 2 yr old, went to nursery. This is the second time and both times, including today I received a bad report when I went to pick them up.   ....   : (    Turns out my dd is hitting/pushing and yelling at other kids when she wants a toy they have or when they want a toy SHE has.  SO.....she won't share! I knew this was a problem and trust me..we've been working on it. I thought it would be a little better and I was wrong. I was completely embarrassed and apologized a million times. I came home and we are trying again! We have decided to keep her during Mass, and only take my ds to nursery until we break this habit. So...ladies , please give me your advice, on how to break this habit. As of now we put her in time out ( crib) , take away what she wants, and talk to her. I am scared to spank her anymore ( yes! I have spanked before for this same reason ) because I feel maybe she is getting the wrong message by spanking her bottom when she does something wrong. She might be resorting to violence because of this. Again , If I'm wrong tell me! Please! Many have told me it's a stage and she'll outgrow it but I have seen other children younger and even her  own age who share and are sweet to other children. I don't know what to do anymore. My son isn't like this, just her.  Please............ Help!!!!   If there's a book....video...anything!!!

Thanks, and God Bless!embarrassed

by on May. 2, 2010 at 10:56 PM
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Replies (1-4):
ajswenson
by on May. 2, 2010 at 11:01 PM

Ok, I can only tell you what I've been trying and by no means are my kids GOOD at this...when my kids fight each other for a toy, it becomes MINE.  I take it and put it on top of the fridge where they can see it, but can't get it.  They lose it for one day.  Another option, I throw toys away (not expensive ones, think McDonald's toys).  

The only thing I see as "wrong", as you put it, I wouldn't put her in time out in her crib.  You want her crib to be a comfort place, not a punishment place.  Now I DO send my kids to their rooms when they are having a melt down or whatever, but they are told to go to their rooms until they feel better kind of thing.  I put my 2 yr old in time out in the corner.  She puts her face in the corner and has to stand there for 2 minutes.  They learn to stay there.

Good luck.  It is a stage, but a stage we definitely have to help them with. 

BABYMAKINGMAMA
by on May. 2, 2010 at 11:14 PM

WOW!! I'm going to try that , the corner time out, I didn't think they could do that yet. I also didn't want people saying I was being cruel. I understand what you're saying about the crib punishment and you're right. I should stop that. I do take the toys and even throw them out while they watch me do it. It just doesn't help. I am so embarrassed to take her back to nursery where she'll act like this again and have the people there look at me like It's my fault she's like this. I SWEAR we don't spoil her!

nemiller
by on May. 2, 2010 at 11:17 PM

i think it IS a stage.  most 2 year olds i know don't want to share.  but you still have to make them learn those social skills.  i agree that spanking her for not sharing is probably just giving her the idea that you hit when you want something.  i would just pick a discipline (i would do timeout while everyone else continues to play) and stick with it.  i also wouldn't leave her in the nursery for a couple weeks, try again, then keep her out for a few more weeks if she hasn't improved.

BABYMAKINGMAMA
by on May. 2, 2010 at 11:22 PM


Quoting nemiller:

i think it IS a stage.  most 2 year olds i know don't want to share.  but you still have to make them learn those social skills.  i agree that spanking her for not sharing is probably just giving her the idea that you hit when you want something.  i would just pick a discipline (i would do timeout while everyone else continues to play) and stick with it.  i also wouldn't leave her in the nursery for a couple weeks, try again, then keep her out for a few more weeks if she hasn't improved.

Thanks! Oh we aren't thinking of taking her to nursery for a while! I know it's a 2 yr old phase but like you said, it's not going to be tolerated just because she's 2 !  It's so hard, but we're going to have to bite down and stick to this!

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