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useless...

Posted by on May. 2, 2010 at 11:31 PM
  • 4 Replies

 thats how i feel today.. i have had some health problems it actually a long boring story but i have been off work since i was around 12 weeks preggo.. i have a heart condition and was just diagnosed with fibro.. the last 4 years have been a long hard road with my hubby being a truck driver and having a baby.. my son is now 3 and i spend most my day resting.. i feel like a horrible mom cuz i cant do all the stuff i want with him.. hes a very smart, active child.. i just feel so bad.. i feel bad for my hubby cuz i cant do that much.. been on and off bedrest for 4 years now.. i am just starting a physical therapy thing to hopefully help me deal with my fibro.. it is killing me (well not really but it feels like it) the last week my hubby was really busy and had to stay away from home.. i couldnt take my meds cuz if something happened i wouldnt be able to get up with my son... i am in so much pain i have been slacking in my cleaning.. i havent vacummed all week BUT we have a no shoe rule and no animals so its not like its gross.. i havent picked up the toys.. cuz really who cares im tired and i hurt.. my hubby did the dishes but not today so there are some on the sink.. and there is paperwork all over the counter.. all the mail and business shit.. and i bought some clothes at a garage sale and i was showing my hubby so they were in a pile on the living room floor.. well my mom stopped by today unannouced.. they dont even live close they live 45 minutes away.. the house was not people ready... and she bitched at me... i held it in then when they left i just cried..  hubby told me not to worry about it... but i just hate it.. i hate that i cant do alot.. adn i thouht my mom would understand.. she was sick while she had cancer and she didnt do anything but i was older and i help.. i have a 3 year old monster child (hes a good kid just kinda like a one kid wrecking machine) i do the best i can but its never good enuff for anyone.. i never could be good enuff and now im sick and tired adn in pain and dealing with the realization that i may never go back to the career i love.. the one i worked my ass off for b4 i got sick.. i have no body to talk to this about cuz no one really understands and everyone close to me has no idea what i go thru.. my hubby tries to help but lets be real here.. he is male.. hes emotionally stunted.. i've been sick for 4 years.. when does it get easier.. im only 26 i have to deal with this my whole life.. im jsut sick of feeling useless and haveing everyone treat me like i am...

by on May. 2, 2010 at 11:31 PM
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Replies (1-4):
xXxLillithxXx
by on May. 3, 2010 at 12:45 AM

-hugs- I'm sorry your going through this :( I know how it sucks to be on your own with no one that gives a shit or understands. Move down here so we can kick it! Ahaha I know you can't but still...gimme a call if you need to you know my digits hooker.

Swtmama62205
by on May. 3, 2010 at 7:53 AM

aww kirsty!  You should ask your doctor for another drug treatment that wont make you so tired.  And the biggest thing i can tell you is,  Do one thing at a time,  If your whole house is a disaster then start little,  one day do the dishes, the next pick up the toys.  And dont feel sorry for your self.  You have to pick your self up and say this is my life now,  You have to learn to accept it and figure out ways things can get done.  Im sorry hun,  i know it sucks

mommy03021207
by Silver Member on May. 3, 2010 at 8:05 AM

my mom has fibro so i know what your going through. she has good days and bad days. it sounds like your husband  is trying and seems understanding to me.dont worry about anyone else but YOUR family (you, dh, and ds) screw everybody else, if they dont like it they dont have to drop in unannounced!! like the other person said do one thing at a time or a day at a time

my4kids274
by Drill Sergeant Mommy on May. 3, 2010 at 8:13 AM

Honey it sounds like your dh is being very supportive and understanding and stands behind you 100%!  That is the important thing!  Believe me!  I can understand your situation fully.  Is there any way that you may be able to ask your doctor to give you something that will not affect you to the point of you wanting to sleep constantly?  I myself was put on some very strong meds right after I was diagnosed with a nocturnal seizure disorder...it is just a fancy name that says that I have seizures only at night.  These meds would make me so tired I could not function at all during the day.  After 2 months of that we went back to the doctor and I was prescribed another drug.  It took me trying 4 different meds before they found one that worked properly and kept my siezures from coming back as often as they did.  Honestly I can sympathize with you and if you want sent me a msg.  It helps to talk with someone during hard times.  Believe me...I know.

On a side note.  Your mom is being ridiculous and not understanding or helpful at all! 

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