Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

The CafeMom Newcomers Club The CafeMom Newcomers Club

Stop misspelling your childrens names! If you are going for unique then get a unique name! good article!

Posted by on May. 9, 2010 at 12:00 AM
  • 722 Replies

I saw a birth announcement the other day and groaned. In recent years, I’d learned to accept the flood of trendy tots named Madison, but this was my first Madicyn. If you care about spelling, my advice is to pour yourself a stiff drink before untying that pink or blue ribbon and reading news of the blessed event.

In a similar vein, leafing through the newspaper these days is like crawling through a minefield of makeshift names. An article will catch my eye — say, something about a tornado that just missed ripping through a preschool beauty pageant — and I dread what’s coming next. They’re going to interview the pint-size witnesses, and I’m about to meet little Brittney, Brittny, Brittneigh, Brit’nee, Brittani and Bryttney. If you absolutely have to name your child after a rugged French peninsula, then get out a dictionary and look it up. It’s Brittany.

I have a major gripe with the trend of misspelling baby names. On purpose. The parents’ logic runs something like this: “My child is special and unique. Thus, my child deserves a special, uniquely spelled name.” The upshot is that Chloe becomes Kloey, and Jacqueline metastasizes into something ghastly, like Jaq’leen.

It would be easy to blame this on celebrities, since there appears to be an unspoken contest among them to saddle children with awful names. Gwyneth Paltrow set the bar high when she named her daughter Apple, but not high enough. Reign Beau, daughter of Ving Rhames, and Vanilla Ice’s Dusti Rain and Keelee Breeze are way up there. For boys, could any name be worse than Bronx Mowgli, son of Ashlee Simpson and Pete Wentz? Perhaps Jermajesty Jackson?

Not that this is just a Hollywood problem. All across America, parents are mangling names in a misguided mission to trumpet their kid’s individuality. Take the wildly popular name Chase, which is actually not a name at all, but something a dog does to its tail. It was annoying to begin with, but now it gets worse as it slowly mutates from Chase to Chace, and on to Chayce.

If there were any truth to the idea that a particular name can guarantee a particular character trait for the child — or vice versa — most people would be named Vaguely Dissatisfied. Or Kinda Bitter. In my case, my parents could’ve just named me Unemployed and saved everybody a lot of trouble.

Misspelling a child’s name won’t make Junior special, creative or unique. Y’s and I’s are not interchangeable, and apostrophes are not some sort of newfangled confetti to be sprinkled liberally throughout groups of letters. Parents shouldn’t impose cryptic, incoherent or foolish spellings on their own children, nor on society as a whole. And they shouldn’t condemn their children to a lifetime of bleakly repeating that, no, the name in question is spelled “Shaiyahne,” not “Cheyenne.” (And while I’m at it, don’t name your child Cheyenne, either.)

The liberty to name one’s child is not always absolute, certainly not outside the United States. In France, for example, the district attorney has a short window of time after a child is born to block names contrary to the interest of the child, including those that are pejorative or rude or would cause ridicule. I’m not suggesting we commission a similar corps of name police in the United States. But I am saying that a little humility and some common sense would go a long way.

Paul Schmidtberger, author of the novel “Design Flaws of the Human Condition” (Doubleday/Broadway, 2007), was born and raised in Schooley’s Mountain, N.J., and now divides his time between Paris and New City, N.Y.

Just to clarify- I DID NOT WRITE THIS! I DONT CARE WHAT YOU NAME YOUR KIDS BECAUSE THEY ARE YOUR KIDS! PLEASE DONT TELL ME TO MIND MY OWN BUSINESS. i AM JUST POSTING AN ARTICLE I FOUND FUNNY

by on May. 9, 2010 at 12:00 AM
Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Replies (1-10):
briana_paige
by on May. 9, 2010 at 12:02 AM

I have a few people that have remarked on how they don't like the way I am spelling Brynleigh's name. I say Screw them, it's my baby.

CafeMom Tickers
Aydans_Mommy
by Ruby Member on May. 9, 2010 at 12:02 AM

I kind of misspelled my sons name It's AydAn.

themacs4
by on May. 9, 2010 at 12:03 AM

 I went to school with a girl who's daughter is named Mattison..Her husband is named Matt..

tgirl715
by on May. 9, 2010 at 12:06 AM

My daughter Haleigh name is spelled that way for a reason. I have always loved the name and my middle name is Leigh I think a lot of people have reasons for the unique spelling. I get the crazy ones like the one with the dash but this is different.

Avabliss
by on May. 9, 2010 at 12:06 AM

ohhhh I couldn't agree more!!!  I feel SO sorry for those kids.  I have  a messed up last name and its such a pain but it is atleast cultural!  I can't imagine having to say "My name is Ashley....oh and thats spelled with a Q".  


ILive4This
by on May. 9, 2010 at 12:06 AM

lol...I couldn't agree more. 

Keelee Breeze...I'm drinking one now ;-)

Chelsea2101
by on May. 9, 2010 at 12:06 AM

Brynleigh is that Brian- Lee? Or more like Brine-lee?

Quoting briana_paige:

I have a few people that have remarked on how they don't like the way I am spelling Brynleigh's name. I say Screw them, it's my baby.


Avabliss
by on May. 9, 2010 at 12:07 AM

Is it possible that is a cultural thing? 

Quoting themacs4:

 I went to school with a girl who's daughter is named Mattison..Her husband is named Matt..


YoRkIeMaMa2009
by on May. 9, 2010 at 12:08 AM

Okay and the world would be BORING with 15,000+ Brittany and Matthew's


***Proud Army Wife of an Infantry Soldier***



ILive4This
by on May. 9, 2010 at 12:08 AM

It could be argued that it isn't misspelled...b/c, what is the traditional spelling???  It's not exactly a name we see all the time, so that could be the spelling, lol.

Quoting briana_paige:

I have a few people that have remarked on how they don't like the way I am spelling Brynleigh's name. I say Screw them, it's my baby.


Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

close Join now to connect to
other members!
Connect with Facebook or Sign Up Using Email

Already Joined? LOG IN