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what is so wrong!!

Posted by on May. 24, 2010 at 12:52 AM
  • 8 Replies

My husbands grandma (Shirley) lost her husband suddenly to a massive heart attack in Feb. 07. She went into a shell and barely did anything she even lost 45 lbs and she was a little woman to begin with. A man named Fred lost his wife not quit a year before that, he also went into a shell and didn't spend a single night in his house for 3 years. they new each other since they were teenagers but a few years after Fred got married he moved to Arizona, Shirley and her husband resided in Indiana. about a year and a half ago Fred came back to Indiana to visit family and his brother brought him over for a visit with Shirley and they have hit it off ever since. they now live together and just recently got back from a 6 month stay in Arizona where Fred's daughters live and he still has a house. Shirley being a Christian woman feels she is sinning living together and not being married, but neither of them want to remarry. She would lose everything she has and he wouldn't be far behind and Fred being 85 and Shirley being 70 neither of them can work. She called the pastor to ask him if they could just do a small ceremony and do some vows to each other, no paper signing, no government, just vows between them and God. What is so wrong with that!?! of coarse the pastor said no and 2 more have also said no. is there something wrong with not wanting to get married but still wanting companionship when you are a 70 and 80 year old widow and widower?

by on May. 24, 2010 at 12:52 AM
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Replies (1-8):
lvnmylif
by on May. 24, 2010 at 12:55 AM

If the vows are just before god why does the state need to be involved.  Marriage way back before the church used to be declared between a man and women.  The only requirements for the marriage to be legal was one witness.  So if they just want to have god and family there they should gather family and make their own ceremony.

SkroveMomma
by on May. 24, 2010 at 12:58 AM

my grandma did the exact same thing, they couldn't marry for financial reasons. so she had an engagement ring and everything. they were together for 12 years before he died and she considered him her second husband. it is absolutely a commitment before God and a piece of paper is something the government dictates. I say she have a small commitment ceremony with the two familes. that is so sweet!

leah4050
by on May. 24, 2010 at 1:03 AM

well for some reason she wants a pastor to do it so we have been looking for one to do it. I totally agree with the old days thing i tried to explain it to my mom and she still said my dad would refuse to do it, he is also a pastor.

she has a ring, 2 actually that he had made for her. she wear onw on her left ring finger and he wears his old wedding band still

mlmartinez
by on May. 24, 2010 at 1:11 AM

I personally think it is super romantic and I don't see why a pastor wouldn't want to do that!

leah4050
by on May. 24, 2010 at 12:24 PM

i think it is too, its just sad that when she wants to make it official in Gods eyes noone will help

AmaliaD
by Platinum Member on May. 24, 2010 at 12:26 PM

they need to keep calling other pastors and find someone to do it... heck if i was able i would... you can get the licence online and do it... it would just make the old lady feel better.   i think a lot of people (like my dad who wont remarry but wouild like a commitment ceremoney to his SO)  would like places to offer commitment ceremonies with no legal ties.

activitymode
by on May. 24, 2010 at 12:29 PM

Why don't you or a family member get ordained over the internet and do a family ceremony.  That way it could be before god but without all the legalities?

Okiemamatoo3
by on May. 24, 2010 at 12:32 PM

i c nothing wrong with it...Why are pastors being such A holes....atleast they WANT a commitment cermony

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