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Ladies I need help and its kinda a vent also...(adult content)

Posted by on May. 24, 2010 at 2:15 AM
  • 8 Replies

My husband and I have been together for 3 1/2yrs married for almost 2yrs. Our sexual life use to be AMAZING and it lasted for HOURS. But now its like ONCE A WEEK if even that.

First of all, let me just say...I know for a fact he's not cheating or anything like that. But for about a yr or so our sex life is still great but it only last for about 30mins and compared to 2-3hrs its not long enough. I want it to go back like it use to be.

He says--we have kids and thats why it doesn't last long anymore. Well yes we have kids but we can still have our time when they are in bed SLEEPING in their room.

I just want our sex life back. Now its like we are old or something (NO OFFENESE TO ANYONE) but now he only wants it once a week which really sucks for me. I don't know what else to do...we went to the mall and I bought some sex game cards and I liked them but he's like I don't know about them...we played ONE last nite and that was it. I asked him tonite if he wanted to do something and he said wait til this evening so I did. And he still hadn't said anything it so I asked him and he said that he didn't want it as much as me. Wtf!

The only reason I wanted it again tonite is because he goes back to work tomorrow and we WILL NOT get to do anything all this week. But when he wants it I give it to him. Whats up with that.

But when we do something (before we got these cards) we just did the same thing over and over with just a few different things here and there.

Any of you going through this or have already been through this?

Any suggestions on how to spice things up?

Thanks ladies for listening and for the advice IN ADVANCE.

by on May. 24, 2010 at 2:15 AM
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Replies (1-8):
alishabear0808
by on May. 24, 2010 at 2:17 AM

 Im not much help... other than to say that you are not alone! That is how it was for me before my DF left for Afghanistan last weekend... Hopefully someone will be able to help you out! ((((hugs))))

sati769leigh
by on May. 24, 2010 at 2:19 AM

sometimes having kids affects men differntly. maybe he is very worried about things in some fashion? worried about being a dad or who knows? but seems like a good idea would be to sit with him and really LISTEN.  tell him you understand he is SAYING its cause of the kids, but that is honestly not the normal thing . yes sex usually slows down here and there. but not for good. he needs to know you have needs too and that what can YOU do to help lower his stress levels or what not to kinda get him more in the mood?

steph2884
by on May. 24, 2010 at 2:19 AM

It's kinda like that with my husband... but he wants to have sex all the time... but it usually doesn't last long! We used to go for over an hour... but now I'm lucky if the actual act of sex lasts longer than 10 minutes! I don't know how to change it though. We're both pretty tired sometimes. I guess I just wanted to let you know you aren't alone.



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sati769leigh
by on May. 24, 2010 at 2:19 AM

also is there an age difference here between the two of you? is he older?

ToshaCooper
by Bronze Member on May. 24, 2010 at 2:22 AM

he is 23 will be 24 in August and I'll be 22 next month. so yeah just a little.

Quoting sati769leigh:

also is there an age difference here between the two of you? is he older?


sati769leigh
by on May. 24, 2010 at 2:27 AM

 no honey, not the type of age difference i was thnking. LOL he is a peer of yours in age. so yeah seems to me something else might be bothering him? maybe he is stresed you know?

Quoting ToshaCooper:

he is 23 will be 24 in August and I'll be 22 next month. so yeah just a little.

Quoting sati769leigh:

also is there an age difference here between the two of you? is he older?

 

 

             My happiness is me, not you. Not only because you may be temporary,


                                but because you want me to be What I am not. 
                                                           

ToshaCooper
by Bronze Member on May. 24, 2010 at 2:27 AM

he's the type that you cant really get him in the mood unless he wants to be in the mood. I've tried telling him I understand and the kids are fine because its not like we are doing things when they are up or in our room.

Yeah our 16month old daughter will sometimes sleep in our room but on her bed and when she's in the room we don't do anything.

I just don't know what else to do...he's alse said (a while back) that the positions are getting old and I agree but we have looked at position cards and stuff and theres a very few that we will do and I don't know why.

Quoting sati769leigh:

sometimes having kids affects men differntly. maybe he is very worried about things in some fashion? worried about being a dad or who knows? but seems like a good idea would be to sit with him and really LISTEN.  tell him you understand he is SAYING its cause of the kids, but that is honestly not the normal thing . yes sex usually slows down here and there. but not for good. he needs to know you have needs too and that what can YOU do to help lower his stress levels or what not to kinda get him more in the mood?


ToshaCooper
by Bronze Member on May. 24, 2010 at 2:30 AM

o ok...I see what your saying now lol. I'm not sure...we don't hardly get to talk much about it because he's either at work or we are around family and friends or something.

Plus, I'm the type that don't like to talk about things like this to him and I don't know why. But I'm fine if I write him a letter. its just weird.

Quoting sati769leigh:

 no honey, not the type of age difference i was thnking. LOL he is a peer of yours in age. so yeah seems to me something else might be bothering him? maybe he is stresed you know?

Quoting ToshaCooper:

he is 23 will be 24 in August and I'll be 22 next month. so yeah just a little.

Quoting sati769leigh:

also is there an age difference here between the two of you? is he older?

 

 


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