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Single Moms

Posted by on May. 24, 2010 at 3:01 AM
  • 8 Replies

I could never understand why so many single moms seemed....bitter. Mad at their ex's, especially to the point of keeping the child from them. It never made sense to me. My DH has a 10 year old that he hasn't seen sense she was 2. It seemed so wrong for his ex to keep his DD from him. 

I still can't see some of this as right, but I sure do understand the feeling now. DH left me for someone else when I was about 27 weeks along. I thought we could be friends and work as being a different kind of family for our soon to be DD. But I don't know if I can do it. I feel so much resent and bitterness. He used to call and check on me at first, to see how everything was going that day. But now I'm lucky if he responds to a text I send him. 

I'm just so damn mad, and can't believe I'm seeing this side of him. Thank you for listening. I just had to vent, and there isn't a lot of people I can talk to. 

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by on May. 24, 2010 at 3:01 AM
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Replies (1-8):
twindelight
by on May. 24, 2010 at 3:07 AM

Sorry your going through this, pregnant is even more emotional. I just became a single mamma this weekend too, so I feel for you.

1_hawt_mami
by on May. 24, 2010 at 3:10 AM

iam so sorry you are going through this...... i think its a totally normal feeling and i think i would be the same, if not worse.

.Tiggeroo87.
by on May. 24, 2010 at 3:22 AM

I'm sorry. You should join the Single Moms group on here. They have a lot of women who are going through what you are (or something similar) that can give you the advice you need. 

.

FL2AK
by on May. 24, 2010 at 3:23 AM

Evantually you learn to seperate the person's roles.  I could have stayed bitter towards my ex husband but it only would have made life more difficult for my children.  Instead I chose to seperate the roles that he had.  While he sucked as a husband he was and still is a great dad.  He has been a part of my life for 16 years and will remain a part of it whether I like it or not.  I think the quicker we realize this the easier it gets.  I do not want my children to ever have to choose one parent over the other.  That is why i just put things in the past and let them go.  This past Christmas my boys got to spend a week with both of us sight seeing in Washington DC.  My ex's girlfriend was also there which I had no issue with.  How many children can say that they got to vacation with both of their parents even after they have been divorced for 9 years?   My boys also greatly respect my husband and my ex's girlfriend because they were fine with them having their mom and dad together.        

Bambi5826
by on May. 24, 2010 at 3:35 AM


Quoting FL2AK:

Evantually you learn to seperate the person's roles.  I could have stayed bitter towards my ex husband but it only would have made life more difficult for my children.  Instead I chose to seperate the roles that he had.  While he sucked as a husband he was and still is a great dad.  He has been a part of my life for 16 years and will remain a part of it whether I like it or not.  I think the quicker we realize this the easier it gets.  I do not want my children to ever have to choose one parent over the other.  That is why i just put things in the past and let them go.  This past Christmas my boys got to spend a week with both of us sight seeing in Washington DC.  My ex's girlfriend was also there which I had no issue with.  How many children can say that they got to vacation with both of their parents even after they have been divorced for 9 years?   My boys also greatly respect my husband and my ex's girlfriend because they were fine with them having their mom and dad together.        

See, this is EXACTLY what I want. He just makes me feel like he truly doesn't care when he can't even call. I can't get a hold of him, what if I end up needing to go to the hospital. It's like I can't count on him. It is so unlike him. We tried for 8 years to get (and stay) pregnant. I was put on pelvic rest at 8 weeks along, and during that is when he cheated on, and eventually left me for her. Whatever, I'll deal. But to just not call, or even ignore when I try to get a hold of him? I am SO disappointed. 

 Pregnancy Ticker

 
~ It's always better to travel with a friend ~


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irishiprincess
by on May. 24, 2010 at 3:38 AM

Took me 8 years momma, good luck, it can be done, but it's hard work


FL2AK
by on May. 24, 2010 at 3:39 AM


Quoting Bambi5826:

 

Quoting FL2AK:

Evantually you learn to seperate the person's roles.  I could have stayed bitter towards my ex husband but it only would have made life more difficult for my children.  Instead I chose to seperate the roles that he had.  While he sucked as a husband he was and still is a great dad.  He has been a part of my life for 16 years and will remain a part of it whether I like it or not.  I think the quicker we realize this the easier it gets.  I do not want my children to ever have to choose one parent over the other.  That is why i just put things in the past and let them go.  This past Christmas my boys got to spend a week with both of us sight seeing in Washington DC.  My ex's girlfriend was also there which I had no issue with.  How many children can say that they got to vacation with both of their parents even after they have been divorced for 9 years?   My boys also greatly respect my husband and my ex's girlfriend because they were fine with them having their mom and dad together.        

See, this is EXACTLY what I want. He just makes me feel like he truly doesn't care when he can't even call. I can't get a hold of him, what if I end up needing to go to the hospital. It's like I can't count on him. It is so unlike him. We tried for 8 years to get (and stay) pregnant. I was put on pelvic rest at 8 weeks along, and during that is when he cheated on, and eventually left me for her. Whatever, I'll deal. But to just not call, or even ignore when I try to get a hold of him? I am SO disappointed. 

Do not write him off yet.  The baby and you are one at this point.  So if he calls to check on the baby, he is really calling to check on you.  He might not feel comfortable with that.  I would ask him how involved he would like to be at this point.  Let him know that you will not take his involvement as him wanting to be with you.  Then after the baby is born do not make the baby and you a package deal.  I am really sorry that you are going through this.  I cannot even imagine trying for so long and then he flakes out on you like this.   

rebel_mommy09
by on May. 24, 2010 at 3:40 AM

Hugs! My ex will not even answer my calls or texts when he has our son and I ask how our son is. It's very upsetting and frustrating. I asked him earlier when he was taking him for his 2 weeks during the summer because Im planning a night out, but would rather do it when he has him, and he never texted me back. So I get on facebook and go to his page and discover that he has been online all night. Needless to say Im livid!

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