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did marriage really change you at all? (for married women who co-habitated FIRST)

Posted by on May. 24, 2010 at 3:05 PM
  • 18 Replies

ok. my SO and i have lived together for going on 3 years and we're going to be getting married next year. so my question is for women that lived with their now husbands for a long amount of time BEFORE getting married. did marriage really change you THAT much? i've been told by a family member that marriage changes people whether you've lived together or not (but i think she was basing that on her 1st husband who became abusive after the relationship became "more permanent" when they got married). so yeah... i've just been kind of pondering that for a while.

by on May. 24, 2010 at 3:05 PM
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Replies (1-10):
MrsDuNn06
by on May. 24, 2010 at 3:10 PM

 actually no. it was like we were already married before. i got to see his way of life in his home habitat before we got married which most people dont agree on... but in all honesty i think its better for the marriage. there are no suprises one month after your married and moved in together. By that time its too late! you already tied the knot! i think its the best way to go!

maxswolfsuit
by Silver Member on May. 24, 2010 at 3:11 PM

Honestly, no not really. We were totally committed before the wedding. It was just a formality. I think it depends on how the couple views the relationship.

sati769leigh
by on May. 24, 2010 at 3:11 PM

i think that the COMMITTMENT becomes deeper once you take that pledge to eachother.

LiesLiesLies
by on May. 24, 2010 at 3:12 PM

No. Thats just something men say who don't want to get married. 

Luckily you heard it from a friend and not your SO...

MrsDuNn06
by on May. 24, 2010 at 3:13 PM

 

Quoting LiesLiesLies:

No. Thats just something men say who don't want to get married. 

Luckily you heard it from a friend and not your SO...

 lol true true true!

MOMby19
by on May. 24, 2010 at 3:13 PM


Quoting sati769leigh:

i think that the COMMITTMENT becomes deeper once you take that pledge to eachother.

did you live with your DH for a long amount of time before you got married? i'm not trying to sound bitchy or anything i'm really just curious since your reply just sounds like a very general observation.

Jaidamom03
by on May. 24, 2010 at 3:14 PM

Our lives didn't change at all except for the way we introduced ourselves.  If fact I think it has gotten better because there are days that go by that I "forget" that we are married.  Then I think about ti and get all fuzzy feeling on the inside.  There is just something about calling him my husband that is different but better.  I enjoy it.  

MOMby19
by on May. 24, 2010 at 3:14 PM


Quoting MrsDuNn06:

 

Quoting LiesLiesLies:

No. Thats just something men say who don't want to get married. 

Luckily you heard it from a friend and not your SO...

 lol true true true!

lol. yeah. if that came from SO i'd be suspicious. lol. SO was ready to do it a while ago, but i was super scared.

BigMamaHeidi
by on May. 24, 2010 at 3:15 PM

No, there was no grand metamorphosis, but it was "relieving" to know he wasn't afraid to take that dive with me. Many men in cohabiting relationships would say "why bother---its just a piece of paper". The fact that Dave asked me to marry him and then followed through with it 3 months later proved to me that he was serious about our commitment, and I felt good on our wedding night knowing that. (We lived together for 3 months before getting engaged, 6.5 months before we got married.)



We dont want the loonies...taking over

Take em to the ground...tie em down

May pretty horses...come to you as you sleep

I'm gonna go to sleep, and let this...wash all over me

LostInnocence
by on May. 24, 2010 at 3:16 PM

No it doesn't change. There is just a higher level of commitment. Nothing else is different.

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