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Be HONEST!!! Am I being overly dramatic???

Posted by on May. 26, 2010 at 7:59 AM
  • 11 Replies

Okay so my dad called about a month ago (my real dad we have only in the past few yrs, since my son has been born had really any kind of relationship. No fault of his just circumsantces of when i was a child prevent us from seeing one another) anyways he calls me about a month ago said he and his wife really wanted to come and see me when would be a good time. I said anytime is fine. I told him I was out of scool/work by this date and the rest of the summer was free to do as I pleased. Then he calls me again about a wk ago and said that he needs to makes plans with me becuase they are ready to start planning on comming and want to make sure im still free. I get really excited and he said he would get back with me cuz he needed to see when his wife could get off of work. SO then about 3 days later, last night, he calls back. Says it looks like it will be July before he can come and NOW he is dividing his time beetween here and Orlando because his cousin has invited him to go to Disney with them at all expensis paid.. I kind of think this is where i act like a spoiled brat BUT I got angry. All ive heard about ever since the last visit is comming to visit and spending more time with us. See he is driving from TX to SC to FL and all he has is a wk. So its going to take like 2 days to get here from TX and then he THINKS he will spend a day or 2 here and then go down to florida for the rest of the time.. He did offer for me (i assume my son too) to come as well, but i really kind of cant because #1 we are planning on going at some point in July as well to Disney (not sure when yet) and also my step son will be visiting ( or so he said as of yesterday) and I dont want to just take off and leave him.. anyways.. so i feel like i should just tell my dad not to come at all because he isnt going to have enough time to really spend here. My son (and maybe im wrong about this) but I think my son will be really upset to only get to see him for a day and then him leave.. But i also feel like any time we get with them would be nice.. I just feel like im being pushed aside for Disney when the whole trip was originally planned for him to come see us.. not just to vacation or stop and see us on the way to Disney ya know.. What do you think?

by on May. 26, 2010 at 7:59 AM
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Replies (1-10):
by on May. 26, 2010 at 8:06 AM

I think you should spend time with your father, even if it's only for 1 or 2 days. He did offer for you to go to Disney with him so you do have a choice if you want to spend a longer time with him. Don't be too angry. It's a long way for your dad to drive and he is entitled to see other people as well on his trip.I say you and your son should go to Disney as well even if you are going again in July. You can never have too many trips to Disney!!!! 

by on May. 26, 2010 at 8:08 AM

It is his vacation time and he can do as he likes. Don't take it personally. There is a lot of driving involved, and a lot of time he is spending in the car. Even one day is better than none.

by on May. 26, 2010 at 8:12 AM

Yeah, I think you're over reacting.

Hang out, grill out or something, take him to dinner and just enjoy the time you do get together. It shouldnt have to be "all or nothing". 

by on May. 26, 2010 at 8:13 AM

I agree with both of the answers above, and particularly about the drive being long for him. Maybe it takes a lot out of him - is he elderly? I know my parents are exhausted after the 6 hour drive here and then on top of it, my young kids are something they are not used to any more. Don't forget that people slow down at a certain age.

by on May. 26, 2010 at 8:20 AM

And I've also observed in the 10 years since I've had my oldest son, my parents have become less tolerant in general of being around the kids. They can only take them in small doses, especially the little one who is a handful. I think if I have one more it may kill them,LOL! It's hard to remember that when we still have our energy - it's one of the things I have to sit back & consciously make an effort to remember - they are not as young as they used to be and I need to keep that in my mind, even though it often tries my patience and frustrates me. Even walking through the supermarket with my mother - it's very easy to become frustrated because she is so darn slow and I need to get in and out before my window of opportunity runs out with my rambunctious son. It may be something like that, that he or his wife just can't find a way to articulate diplomatically.

by on May. 26, 2010 at 8:22 AM

i dont think you are over-reacting. contrary to popular belief here on cafemom you ARE allowed to have feelings not everyone is going to agree with. it is okay to feel angry and cheated, but once those feelins subside you will be wishing you had let your dad come afterall. so cool down, have a talk with him, and try to enjoy the best of the time you will have.

by on May. 26, 2010 at 8:28 AM

You can feel whatever you please but you must realize it's HIS vacation time that he can spend as he pleases. If you feel like you're acting like a spoiled brat then you are. Isn't a day or two with him better then no days at all? Make the best out of the time you're given with him and DON'T alienate him or push him away.

by on May. 26, 2010 at 8:30 AM

i understand you being disappointed that the plans have changed but i wouldnt get angry. he is not only driving down there to go to disney but to see more of his family. he probly wants to see his cousin too, and he did offer to bring you and your son. so what if you are going later? i doubt your son will object to going to disney twice! i'd be happy to get to see him at all, and he is driving a long way to see you, which is really nice.

 BabyFetus Ticker
by on May. 26, 2010 at 8:32 AM

I agree that my feelings would be hurt as well. Originally it was supposed to be a trip to come see you and your son. Then plans changed, which they often do. I would be upset, but I wouldn't tell him not to come. I would take any time I could to see him. Make the best of the time you can have together! There will surely be more times to come.

by on May. 26, 2010 at 8:34 AM

id be upset too. i hate when family does that. my gparents and uncle did that once. they came to see us (3 hours away) but only cuz they were on the way home from the casino. they visited for half an hour and my uncles gf insulted me! in my own home...keep in mind i hadnt seen them in like 3 or 4 years at that point

They say "Jamie doesn't rationalize or talk in normal ways"

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