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am i the only one or is this normal?

Posted by on May. 26, 2010 at 10:31 AM
  • 6 Replies

that had a bad childhood.   it all started when i was in 2nd grade.  my brother tried to drown me and i told the teacher on Monday when she asked what we did over the weekend.  i got in so much trouble by my parents. they told me that what happens at home is no ones business and that i should not go and tell my teachers.  we moved when i was in 3rd grade and that when things started to get worst.  when my brother and i got off the bus i would wait till the bus was gone  then just run as fast as i could to the house. lock myself in my room and wait for my parents.  some times my dad would pick up my brother and leave me to ride the bus.  There was once that he found a knife on the road on the way home and he chased me with it.  he would kick me and punch me call me a bitch and useless piece of crap when i would forget the house key.  now he is the older one but i had to make sure i had the key. I remember there was a time when my mom worked nights and my dad worked late. so when he got mad i would curl up in a corner and place 2 rows of chairs and the table in front of me.  i would get in between the china cabinet and a little table the phone was on.  once when we were older, i was in middle school, he pushed me on the ground and started just kicking me as hard as he could. he would kick me in the stomach and the head. he aim more for the head. when he stopped i went and got in an old truck and locked the doors. i cried for so long while in there.  

I did tell my dad what he was doing and my dad told me that because he stutters he has extra anger and cant help it.  Around this time my mom would get these kinda like seizures  when she got upset so my dad told me not to tell her.  then my brother would call me more names and tell me that what is happening to my mom was my fault because im a stupid idiot. 

when i got to 9th grade i told a teacher about it all and she had a talk with my brother. he told her that i was making it all up because i didnt want to get in trouble for being late. my parents told her the same thing.  so in 9th grade i took alot of cold meds.  it made me sleep alot during class and i would sleep when i got home till time for school again.  but when i was awake it would numb me. all the feeling and the pain would be gone.

now my brother grew up and he is not like that anymore. he found crist in his life and realized that what he did to me was wrong.  we dont talk about it and he has never said sorry or anything like that.  i still just randomly remember and just start crying.


by on May. 26, 2010 at 10:31 AM
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Replies (1-6):
busymomma75
by on May. 26, 2010 at 10:35 AM

I am not going to post it all but I did go through some similar things as you. I locked myself in the bathroom, ran away etc...


coupon.queen
by on May. 26, 2010 at 10:38 AM

 You're not alone. But you do have the power to make a wonderful adulthood.

adyks45
by on May. 26, 2010 at 10:42 AM

Yes, my mom couldve gave to shits about me. my brother used to crunch my head in beetween his hands, my brothers friend used to make me give him a blow job, and i was raped and impregnated at age 17.  i was picked on repeadtedly by classmates..  but now the weird thing is one of the worst kids, is now best friends with my husband we get along good, and he even apologized to me.

The1anonly_ME
by on May. 26, 2010 at 10:48 AM

it does make me feel better that im not alone. i feel bad that others have gone through worst thinking  and that why i dont like to talk about it because i know there are worst things. but last night i could not fall asleep till about 3 am thinking of this.

busymomma75
by on May. 26, 2010 at 10:54 AM

I try not to think about the past, in fact a lot of it I blocked out. I look forward to the future and my kids they help me through everything. I hope you can get past it somehow or find something that helps you to get past it...maybe even writing on here and getting it out will help you. I think I am to scared to write it and face it!!

Quoting The1anonly_ME:

it does make me feel better that im not alone. i feel bad that others have gone through worst thinking  and that why i dont like to talk about it because i know there are worst things. but last night i could not fall asleep till about 3 am thinking of this.


The1anonly_ME
by on May. 27, 2010 at 2:36 AM

BUMP!

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