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one of those "friends" vent!

Posted by on May. 26, 2010 at 3:21 PM
  • 31 Replies

I don't know why this bothered me so much, maybe because I don't know this lady very well, but tell me if any of this would bother you. 

Today I went to the beach with a "friend" and her 2 daughters.  We used to work together ages ago, and were never close, but she found my contact info and our kids are close in age. We've met up maybe 5 times or so, usually a playground, they've also been over twice.  So she met at my house this morning, we took 2 separate cars because neither of us can fit 3 car seats.  I offered to pick up the kids some munchkins (donut holes for thos that don't have a dunkin donuts nearby)  on the way to the beach so I did that.  She came into my house to "use the bathroom" and then asks if I have anything for her kids to take for breakfast to eat in the car.  It was 9:15!  She said they had been up since 6:30.  So she looks in my cabinets and opens a new box of snack crackers I had.  So then we get to the beach and I'm trying to set up the blanket and beach umbrella.  I had brought some beach toys for my son and they were in a mesh kind of bag, so the kids could see what was in it.  I told her 2 year old just a minute, I'll get them out in a second, I don't want the sheet to blow away.  So the other mom takes them over to her "side" and dumps out the toys and gives them all to her girls.... they had brought their own shovels and buckets and I purposely brought an extra truck, but  her girls wouldn't let my son have any of his own toys and she felt that was fine, he was "sharing".  I have no problem with him sharing (why I brought a second truck and multiple sand "tools", but we had just gotten there!

Then she decided we weren't in a good spot (which she had picked out initially) so she wants to move.  Wonderful, thats not a pain.  So I start moving stuff to the new spot and asked her to wait with the kids... When I get there and start to turn around, she is right there... left 3 kids under 3 about 70 feet or so from where we were on a very crowded beach.  So I ran back and just brought my son with me to do the next 2 trips. 

She tracked wet sand all over our sheet, nothing on hers at all.  She kept telling her girls to sit on ours when they got out of the water or sand.  She even changed her daughters poopy diaper on my sheet with NO changing pad or towel under it. I didn't see that until she was almost done, luckily nothing nasty was on it.

When it got to be lunch time she mentioned she hadn't packed the girls anything other then a snack since she didn't think she'd be there that long.  Did I happen to pack enough lunch for her kids?  um no, sorry, I have ONE child, I just packed his lunch.  She kept saying it was the younger daughter's nap time anyway, and that they had to go soon.

It was little things like that all day... just felt like she had no respect for our stuff (and I know its just beach stuff, but still) and somehow made me feel guilty for not assuming I would be feeding her kids breakfast and lunch (i did bring the donut holes for a special treat for the kids while we were setting up, but it wasn't like they were making 2 meals out of them!)  When we used to work together she was ALWAYS asking everyone in our department to borrow money (which she never paid back), and it drove me crazy then, I guess she hasn't changed.  Then she texts me that she stopped at Dunkin Donuts on the way home for a giant iced coffee and snack for herself.  hmmm, what about your kids!  

I don't know, little things were bugging me.  I just felt totally taken advantage of.  If she asks to make plans again its going to be meeting at a playground and thats it. 

by on May. 26, 2010 at 3:21 PM
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Replies (1-10):
AimeeJenee
by on May. 26, 2010 at 3:25 PM

wow, I would have felt taken advantage of too. That would probably be the last time I had a play date with her.

momma_bear1
by on May. 26, 2010 at 3:29 PM

I am pretty sure that would be my last play date with her...how rude!

ajc0623
by on May. 26, 2010 at 3:30 PM

I would have been upset too. And I'd probably not be having anymore play dates with her.

ame4c
by on May. 26, 2010 at 3:30 PM

 Yeah, that would have pissed me off enough to make an excuse to leave.  She's not a friend, she's a moocher...LOL and it sounds like she's teaching her kids to be the same way.

I can tell your a people pleaser (I use to be like that), because I would have said something and she probably wouldn't call me back for another outting...LOL

confused

     ame4c


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ctfirsttimemom
by on May. 26, 2010 at 3:31 PM

thanks ladies!  sometimes I feel like I over react to stupid things that wouldn't bother anyone else, so I wanted to run it by you gals!  Yeah, I never bring up getting together, she always does.  Lately she just asks if they can come over and play, and I always come up with an excuse. 

momof2andloveit
by on May. 26, 2010 at 3:32 PM

wow I don't think I would have been able to hold my tongue with that woman through a day like that, good job to you though not for not losing your cool! I would definitely stick to playgrounds and short playdates with that one.

ctfirsttimemom
by on May. 26, 2010 at 3:33 PM

I have had this problem my whole life!  Luckily I've figured out how not to care about it with my MIL anymore ;)  Yeah, she is definitely a moocher!   I can't stand that!  This wasn't an expensive outting, gas to drive there and whatever snacks for the kids, which they would have had at home anyway!

Quoting ame4c:

 Yeah, that would have pissed me off enough to make an excuse to leave.  She's not a friend, she's a moocher...LOL and it sounds like she's teaching her kids to be the same way.

I can tell your a people pleaser (I use to be like that), because I would have said something and she probably wouldn't call me back for another outting...LOL

confused


MommySteph06
by Platinum Member on May. 26, 2010 at 3:34 PM

mine too!

Quoting momma_bear1:

I am pretty sure that would be my last play date with her...how rude!


                             

ctfirsttimemom
by on May. 26, 2010 at 3:34 PM


that probably only happened because my son was there!  I was fuming by the time they left. 

Quoting momof2andloveit:

wow I don't think I would have been able to hold my tongue with that woman through a day like that, good job to you though not for not losing your cool! I would definitely stick to playgrounds and short playdates with that one.


ctfirsttimemom
by on May. 26, 2010 at 3:36 PM

yeah, i think thats it!  I want my son to know to share and everything, but I don't want him to think he has to let people trash his stuff. 

Quoting ajc0623:

I would have been upset too. And I'd probably not be having anymore play dates with her.


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