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Dom. Violence Survivors.... I got a ?

Posted by on May. 26, 2010 at 4:35 PM
  • 15 Replies

Once you finally got out of the situation, was it more helpful to have time to yourself, or to have people to talk to?

My sister hopefully left her bf for the last time over the weekend. I have lost touch with her over this man-child. He had her doing drugs and then was also beating the crap out of her. I think she needs time to herself to figure out what she wants to do in life, but I don't know if it's better to reach out and talk to her.

I added her on myspace yesterday so that she could see my son that way, as I don't yet trust her to be around him. i told her that it was only if she stayed away from the bf because he would kill her next time.


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by on May. 26, 2010 at 4:35 PM
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Replies (1-10):
lcappytan05
by on May. 26, 2010 at 4:37 PM

it's best to have a support system. they keep you strong and sane...but if she wants time to herself, let her have it...just be there if she needs you.

Kharma25
by on May. 26, 2010 at 4:37 PM

You're her sister.  She needs your support.  Why don't you trust her to be around your son?  She was the victim, not the abuser.

RendevouzDreams
by on May. 26, 2010 at 4:40 PM

For me I didn't want to be alone. Cause Ex would call N pass by and do all kinds of stuff. Needed someone there with me. 

Not.So.Virginal
by on May. 26, 2010 at 4:41 PM

she was on drugs last the last time I saw her, she stole from my house and was also acting very erratic. She even threatened to hit my mother that night. She has not been allowed into my house since then.

She showed up about a month or two ago and demanded to see my son. She wanted me to put him up against the glass so that she could see him, like a zoo animal. I threatened to call the cops on her because she was told not to come to my house, and she finally left.

Quoting Kharma25:

You're her sister.  She needs your support.  Why don't you trust her to be around your son?  She was the victim, not the abuser.



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Not.So.Virginal
by on May. 26, 2010 at 4:42 PM

she's living with a friend's parents so at least she isn't totally alone.

Quoting RendevouzDreams:

For me I didn't want to be alone. Cause Ex would call N pass by and do all kinds of stuff. Needed someone there with me. 



it's linked, click it... you know you wanna!

Check out my Blog, where I review different products and services.

Christy644
by on May. 26, 2010 at 4:43 PM

 It really depends on the person. There is no cookie cutter fix to this. If a person needs distance give, but keep a watchful eye from a distance. They will have a hard time expressing when they want somebody to turn to.

 

Solo_Fan
by on May. 26, 2010 at 4:45 PM

 I found it better to be to myself for a few days.  However, with her doing drugs and coming out of abuse...I think she needs support.

momofnine770
by on May. 26, 2010 at 5:13 PM

dont turn your back your sister needs you to show her some support the abuser use the fact that she is alone to get into her head . be there she needs you  tough love is good love but bend a little in this messhigh five

gypsydancer7
by on May. 26, 2010 at 5:16 PM

I had to have people around me at ALL times when I left the man who tried to kill me. I was afraid of being alone and just needed to know people cared.

sati769leigh
by on May. 26, 2010 at 5:18 PM

 

Quoting Not.So.Virginal:

Once you finally got out of the situation, was it more helpful to have time to yourself, or to have people to talk to?

My sister hopefully left her bf for the last time over the weekend. I have lost touch with her over this man-child. He had her doing drugs and then was also beating the crap out of her. I think she needs time to herself to figure out what she wants to do in life, but I don't know if it's better to reach out and talk to her.

I added her on myspace yesterday so that she could see my son that way, as I don't yet trust her to be around him. i told her that it was only if she stayed away from the bf because he would kill her next time.

 definitely was helpful. i needed time to work on ME after getting out of the situation i was in for 4 years. i was very damaged and had i not taken time to myself and time to have poeple to talk to and heal with i would have not been able to stay safe. most women end up in more bad relationships if they dont heal first.

             My happiness is me, not you. Not only because you may be temporary,


                                but because you want me to be What I am not. 
                                                           

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