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passed away brothers name? would you use it?

Posted by on May. 26, 2010 at 8:33 PM
  • 38 Replies

so my dh's family has this tradition, the kids middle names are after their uncles. 

Well our first son is after my dh's youngest brother.  We could do my cousin who was raised as my brother who is Anthony, or we could use Thomas my dh's older brother who has passed away from meningitis. 

Problem is on minute his mom is angry we didn't use his name for the first boy the next she is angry we are considering for the next.  Makes me not feel secure about using the name. 

My dh say he doesn't care what she thinks, but I know he does.

I don't know what she is feeling and thought that maybe someone on here may have lost a child and be able to give me a sense of what to do. Use is or just skip it. 


Thomas goes good with some first names and Anthony with other, so this will change what first name we pic. 

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I sometimes come off mean/rude, please don't be offended I really am trying to be nice.
by on May. 26, 2010 at 8:33 PM
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Replies (1-10):
VAMPLUVR3
by on May. 26, 2010 at 8:35 PM

 Ehhhh...I would give him, your brother's name. It's special, ya know?!

PatriciaofMN
by on May. 26, 2010 at 8:37 PM

Yes, I would and its a great way to honor him. 

AngelicaRenee
by on May. 26, 2010 at 8:38 PM

I don't know. My brother was murdered 13 years ago, his name was Adam and my son's name is Ian Adam.

Maybe she's just upset that he's your "second choice" of person to name a kid after?

jcsg
by on May. 26, 2010 at 8:39 PM

I used my brother's name who passed away for my second son.  I made sure it was completly ok with my parents first. 

Maybe she is just having second thoughts about his name being used at all.  If she is really against it, I wouldn't do it.  It could cause her to have some ill feelings or bring up old wounds towards her grandson just because of her own memories.  Not saying it will happen, but I wouldn't want a name to cause that kind of pain to someone. 

roseberrymatrix
by on May. 26, 2010 at 8:39 PM

Give him both so he has two middle names

(awesome name of choice) Thomas Anthony (last name)

ronandamy1
by on May. 26, 2010 at 8:39 PM

 I haven't lost a brother but I lost a cousin that was very close to my sister and I....my sis used his name as her son's middle name....my aunt was honored!

ReachtotheStars
by on May. 26, 2010 at 8:39 PM

we thought about using it for our first too and really it is just jumping between wether she wants us to use it or hates the idea of us using it. 

One minute it will honor him

the next minute she will never be able to look at any child with his name

Quoting AngelicaRenee:

I don't know. My brother was murdered 13 years ago, his name was Adam and my son's name is Ian Adam.

Maybe she's just upset that he's your "second choice" of person to name a kid after?


Created by MyFitnessPal - Free Weight Loss Tools

I sometimes come off mean/rude, please don't be offended I really am trying to be nice.
VAMPLUVR3
by on May. 26, 2010 at 8:40 PM

 Good idea!!

Quoting roseberrymatrix:

Give him both so he has two middle names

(awesome name of choice) Thomas Anthony (last name)

 

ReachtotheStars
by on May. 26, 2010 at 8:40 PM

My dh does not want to do this he said it would be too hard for him to live with another thomas and using it daily.

Quoting roseberrymatrix:

Give him both so he has two middle names

(awesome name of choice) Thomas Anthony (last name)


Created by MyFitnessPal - Free Weight Loss Tools

I sometimes come off mean/rude, please don't be offended I really am trying to be nice.
o0gone0o
by Platinum Member on May. 26, 2010 at 8:41 PM

 I would flat out ask her if she would be okay with you honoring her eldest son by using his name.  Tell her if she isn't comfortable with you using it because of it being his name that it is okay and you will just substitute the uncle name w/ someone that will be like an uncle to your children. 

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