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Homework help please! (thesis statement)

Posted by on Jun. 3, 2010 at 3:21 AM
  • 8 Replies

 Is this an acceptable thesis statement?

"Because special needs children aren't always accepted in today's society, we should take action to educate people on special needs children, so that the children may have a life being as happy, and normal as possible"

If any one has any better ideas, please let me know. I'm having a hard time with this thesis statement and I'm not sure why! ):

Thanks for any and all input ladies!! (:

by on Jun. 3, 2010 at 3:21 AM
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Replies (1-8):
Mamamanic
by Silver Member on Jun. 3, 2010 at 3:33 AM

Mention why you feel they are not accepted maybe???

HelloKitty86
by on Jun. 3, 2010 at 3:35 AM

I would suggest that you lessen the word count to 25 words or less. Right now it is almost like a run-on sentence.

lovemylittle1
by Hollywood ♥ Dream on Jun. 3, 2010 at 3:37 AM

 I think it looks good, the only thing I think is off is this sentance: educate people on special needs children, so that the children may have a life It just seems like the 2 children are too close?? If that really makes any sense... 

Taradlc
by Member on Jun. 3, 2010 at 3:38 AM

Is this for college or high school?

First, I probably wouldn't start your thesis with "because". Next, I would change the "special needs children" to children with special needs. The child always comes first :-)

Also, you used the word "children" way too much.

Instead of saying "happy" and "normal" at the end, I would say something like well adjusted.

I would use phrases like: educating society, bringing awareness, providing opportunities for, creating a support system, etc.

Good luck! Hope this helps!

 

laranadtony
by Emerald Member on Jun. 3, 2010 at 3:38 AM

We should take action to educate about all people with any difference.

lcappytan05
by on Jun. 3, 2010 at 3:39 AM

A thesis statement should be 25 words or less. I also don't recommend starting the sentence with "because" either. You may want to try and reword the thesis because right now it sounds like a run-on sentence.

A thesis should highlight the main points of your paper.

Good luck!

I have to start on my paper today about events leading up to the Civil War...fun...not. lol

tomatoqueen
by on Jun. 3, 2010 at 3:49 AM

In order to allow special needs children to reach their full potential, the US should develop an education campaign to increase awareness of special needs children and their unique challenges.

it is late and I have already helped my son with his English paper tonight.  

 

FL2AK
by on Jun. 3, 2010 at 3:50 AM

Due to the lack of acceptance of children with special needs; disability education is needed throughout our society to assist these children with living their lives to their fullest potential.

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