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Would you accept help?

Posted by on Jun. 3, 2010 at 10:03 AM
  • 15 Replies

Hi ladies,

I've noticed on here a bit that some people say that they don't/won't take help from family. My question is if you or your DH/SO became seriously ill or lost your job for a prolonged period of time would you accept the help? Or would you do do everything you could first (downgrade homes, cut bills, etc) before accepting the help? By help, I'm talking about a serious financial contribution, like paying half of your rent/mortgage, paying your electric bill, etc.

ETA: Thought it would be interesting to add, would you rather apply for govt assistance first rather than receive help from family? Why or why not?

Edit: Thanks for the replies ladies. As many people can tell by my siggy, I am very ill and have not worked in almost 8 months. I made more money than my DH and our savings depleted quickly on medical and household bills. I was just wondering what others would do in a similar situation. We are very, very lucky to have our family because without them I have no idea how we'd survive.

"You must be the change you wish to see in the world."- Mahatma Gandhi

http://www.caringbridge.org/visit/jamiebrubaker



by on Jun. 3, 2010 at 10:03 AM
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Replies (1-10):
tootsie-roll
by on Jun. 3, 2010 at 10:05 AM

 yes i would accept help... i would do everything i could to lessen bills and everything but yes i would accept

LiesLiesLies
by on Jun. 3, 2010 at 10:06 AM

I would do everything I could to help MYSELF before accepting help from anyone (family...the government) else.

AmaliaD
by Platinum Member on Jun. 3, 2010 at 10:07 AM

i had a child last year who was born with PKD (genetic kidney disorder) when he was alive and in the hospital we had issues juggling work,  our 3 yrold and being at the hospital with the baby.  people brought us stuff. like gas cards,  groceries, etc... heck no i did not refuse anything - how rude would that be.... you needed to accept the help from family.  they give because they love you.   pride is a foolish pursuit.

shecallsmemom04
by on Jun. 3, 2010 at 10:08 AM

no, i would not accept help.  i never have, i never will.  and luckily i will never have to.

will fight for animals

Shadowed_Walk
by on Jun. 3, 2010 at 10:08 AM

i would except the help. I can not downgarde my home anymore than it is and my electricity normally runs 80 yr round.... though half my family still refuses to help me out.

RheaF
by on Jun. 3, 2010 at 10:11 AM

 DH did lose a job about 2 months ago. We have one car and his main job is 35 mins away and the hours are unpredictable, so I cannot get a job outside of the home(we tried for a while, it didnt work) so he took on a paper route for about a year. Then when he lost that we lost about $800 a month. We got behind in bills and needed help. We felt horrible accepting Money from his parents but it is like his Dad said, "Thats what family is for. To lend a hand when you need it". Now if we were doing that every month it would be different, or if we were not trying to get back on our feet and soley relying on them, ya know? But for those moments when you have no where else to turn, there is nothing wrong with accepting help.

CallieLynsMommy
by on Jun. 3, 2010 at 10:13 AM

This is basically how I feel too. I'm sorry your DH lost his job, I hope things turn around soon for you all!

Quoting RheaF:

 DH did lose a job about 2 months ago. We have one car and his main job is 35 mins away and the hours are unpredictable, so I cannot get a job outside of the home(we tried for a while, it didnt work) so he took on a paper route for about a year. Then when he lost that we lost about $800 a month. We got behind in bills and needed help. We felt horrible accepting Money from his parents but it is like his Dad said, "Thats what family is for. To lend a hand when you need it". Now if we were doing that every month it would be different, or if we were not trying to get back on our feet and soley relying on them, ya know? But for those moments when you have no where else to turn, there is nothing wrong with accepting help.


"You must be the change you wish to see in the world."- Mahatma Gandhi

http://www.caringbridge.org/visit/jamiebrubaker



RheaF
by on Jun. 3, 2010 at 10:19 AM

 It looks like they are. We just got some awsome news from his plant. There is another (better) company buying the plant. For the last month we have been sweatin thinking he may lose his job at the end of the month, but they just confirmed that the new company will be picking up everyone that is already there. So, even though things look bleak now, have faith that everything does happen for a reason. A month ago, I was in tears everynight wondering how we were going to make it as we got further and further in debt and as DH got turned down again and again(he was looking for a new job, the company he is with now is not so great). Then he got news that the plant was being bought out and a new company is hiring everyone. Looking back now I know why he was turned down from the other jobs. He has real potential or advancement and recognition(appreiciation) at this new company. And now I am rambling,lol. Iguess my point is, hold your head up, and have faith that, as long as you do your part, things will turn out for you. And everything happens for a reason, even if we cannot see it right now.

Quoting CallieLynsMommy:

This is basically how I feel too. I'm sorry your DH lost his job, I hope things turn around soon for you all!

Quoting RheaF:

 DH did lose a job about 2 months ago. We have one car and his main job is 35 mins away and the hours are unpredictable, so I cannot get a job outside of the home(we tried for a while, it didnt work) so he took on a paper route for about a year. Then when he lost that we lost about $800 a month. We got behind in bills and needed help. We felt horrible accepting Money from his parents but it is like his Dad said, "Thats what family is for. To lend a hand when you need it". Now if we were doing that every month it would be different, or if we were not trying to get back on our feet and soley relying on them, ya know? But for those moments when you have no where else to turn, there is nothing wrong with accepting help.

 

 

chais_wifey
by on Jun. 3, 2010 at 10:21 AM
I would never expect help but I would accept it if necessary. I would never let my pride get in the way of my family having food or shelter.
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rowansmum
by Gold Member on Jun. 3, 2010 at 10:21 AM

Lessen bills first cuz you really shouldn't accept help when you spend semi frivolously.  Then accept help but apply for anything you may qualify for for assistance as well

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