Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

I think it's abuse.....not sure what to do or what I can do** advise please! **

Posted by on Jun. 3, 2010 at 10:20 AM
  • 9 Replies

Okay I am asking for advise not bashing. I have a niece that is 11 yrs old. I don't see her often. Her parents are really messed up, her dad is living with my dad just got out of rehab and did not taking care of his daughter. His idea of taking care of her is to by her what ever she wants be it candy, toys, a raz scooter and then send her back to her mother's trailer. Where she has none of that. She screams at her mom cusses her out hits her and threatens to kill her. I don't get how knowing that she is getting in trouble in school and at home my brother thinks its ok to go out and buy her what ever she wants. He will grill her on what her mom is doing so that he knows whats shes doing with her live in boyfriend. My niece gets in fights in school, hits kids at my dads house, curses, has no rules to follow and when my brother gets angery with her chases her around the house to hit her. as an "punishment"

  Her mother is just as bad she yells in her face, is usally drunk and screams at her live in lover, they have gotten in physical fights in front of my niece. im sure he has tried to hit her. She  then blame it all on my brother. They are both bad parents. They are both at fault for what they did to the  kid. She got scent to a mental hospital last week, for an observation. Before it got to that point I would have put my foot down, something is seriously wrong there she needs to be taken from that home. From them, she needs to be straightened out. If she is to be given a chance at anything resembling a normal life

I was talking with my younger sister and her boyfriend who also live with my father (they have a town house) and it came up if my niece were taken from the mom where would she go. Would I take her. Over her being placed with strangers yes. But this puts my children in danger. They would be abused by the  girl, also we would not get rid of my SIL she would be calling all the time. Wanting to come over....and i don't know what my brother would do. My neice does see a physcotrist. has for over a yr. because of all this.I know she is being abused. It is there I honestly think it's worse then what I know. If it came down to it I would take her. But I don't think I should have to. I think my parents should take her first. They couldn't handle her she is very wild. My younger sister told me my neice slapped her in the face like 3 weeks ago. When her mother can not handle her she just drops her off at my dads house 4 days a week. thats durring the school yr. The summer she may be there more, thats  the answer they have. My brother will take her and buy her more things she does not need then send her back. It never ends.


by on Jun. 3, 2010 at 10:20 AM
Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Replies (1-9):
BlessedToBMommy
by on Jun. 3, 2010 at 10:23 AM

So get off cafemom for a few minutes and call dcf, not to be rude but your gut feeling should alwasy tromp over what people online will say you dont even know us!

mkuebler
by on Jun. 3, 2010 at 10:32 AM

Sounds pretty messed up...one or two of those things might exist in a normal household but not all of them and not repeatedly...I think someone needs to get involved, be it family or the state.

SLGross215
by Sarah on Jun. 3, 2010 at 10:34 AM

 The reason she is acting that way is because of the life she is being given by her parents. She's angry and lashing out the only way a kid knows how too. She needs to be taken from that kind of environment and shown that there are good people out there that care about her and love her. I speak from experience. If I were you, I'd be calling and reporting it asap.

 

 

FotoFlexer_Animation-2.gif #2 picture by SLGross215

Tawanda74
by on Jun. 3, 2010 at 10:38 AM

Well I guess you need to ask yourself, do you think you can handle her?  Your neice needs an adult to step up to the plate for her.  Call child services and ask them what can be done.  If you don't think you can handle her then it might be best if she does go with strangers as bad as that might seem it would at least keep her from her parents. Her life is in turmoil and that will not change or get better until someone helps her.

Orjimez
by on Jun. 3, 2010 at 10:40 AM

I want to report it but I want her to have a place to go I don't want her to go to strangers. Or where her mom can get to her.

  I would take her but my kids are younger, my youngest is special needs over the weekend she was trying to shove him down the stairs at my dads house. I mean really trying to hurt him. I can't risk my kids.

SHe was taken from school last week, made to go by school to the physc ward to be evaluated. Her mom is a good talker/ liar and I'm hoping they might get the state involved since she had to go. if not I am going to have to talk to someone.

Orjimez
by on Jun. 3, 2010 at 10:42 AM

If it were just me I could but I have kids, that are younger. The youngest she tried to push down stairs this weekend. Normally she is good with him but she saw a chance and went for it.

Quoting Tawanda74:

Well I guess you need to ask yourself, do you think you can handle her?  Your neice needs an adult to step up to the plate for her.  Call child services and ask them what can be done.  If you don't think you can handle her then it might be best if she does go with strangers as bad as that might seem it would at least keep her from her parents. Her life is in turmoil and that will not change or get better until someone helps her.


ckirtland1203
by on Jun. 3, 2010 at 10:44 AM

Call the social worker at her school and see if she can update you on what's happening with your niece. Good luck, mama - and you're right to protect your own babies before you try to save someone else's; even your own niece.

Tawanda74
by on Jun. 3, 2010 at 10:47 AM

Call the state and see what options are out there, maybe they are already investigating because of what happened at school.  I am assuming that your other siblings are unable to take her so really the only other option is strangers unless there is someone that you have not mentioned.  You know the outcome if she stays with her parents at least with strangers she would have a chance at a better life.

Quoting Orjimez:

If it were just me I could but I have kids, that are younger. The youngest she tried to push down stairs this weekend. Normally she is good with him but she saw a chance and went for it.

Quoting Tawanda74:

Well I guess you need to ask yourself, do you think you can handle her?  Your neice needs an adult to step up to the plate for her.  Call child services and ask them what can be done.  If you don't think you can handle her then it might be best if she does go with strangers as bad as that might seem it would at least keep her from her parents. Her life is in turmoil and that will not change or get better until someone helps her.



  Bats' Belfry

Sunshine172
by on Jun. 3, 2010 at 10:53 AM

sounds like my life as a kid .

at least be there for the child, but don't tolerate shit from her. shes used to being a free ranged child, a foster home would be in her best interest.. one were shes an only child, ( most 11 yr old in foster care if grouped with children their age, will plan out a night of " escape.."... at least I did .. )

its not the poor girls fault shes like this, but someone needs to correct her before its wayy too late... she needs DISAPLINE and don't tell me that shes too young to be sent to boot camp.

THERE YA GO SEND HER TO BOOT CAMP!

I would have been scared shitless if i were sent most likely.

Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)