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i think i just lost my friend of 16 years UPDATE

Posted by on Jun. 3, 2010 at 2:31 PM
  • 6 Replies

my best friend J. she was my friend friend in the US. we went through everything together. shes had a boyfriend for almost 6 years now. i cannot stand him. he has cheated on her, and she took him back. i have held back becuase i love my friend and want her to be happy but today was the last straw. he bought an engagment ring 2 years ago and has been teasing her with it for two years. last week she called to say they were getting engaged. i was happy for her as i should have been, she is my friend and i want the best for her. today she called me and said he has still not proposed and was literaly forced by her uncle to get down on one knee and ask her to marry him (with a soda can top thingy) infront of his and her family. he has still not given her the ring thats been sitting on the dresser for two years. he didnt even bring it with him to the very formal chinese engagment party/dinner at his parents house. she called me today and i heard him laughing in the backround, he was LAUGHING. he wants to go to the court house tomorrow to get married the same way me and my husband did back in 2003. she said im not marrying you unless you ask me and put that ring on my finger. i finally unleashed on him (they were on speaker phone). he laughed and said i was crazy, that he can just propose to her after they marry at the courthouse. he laughed the whole damn time. i finally told her "i think this might end our friendship, but i really dont think you should marry him. you deserve better. you should get him out of your house and out of your life forever. if he doesnt care enough to propose and you have to ask him think about what kind of husband he will be and what kind of father. think very carefully about it before you make any decisions. do you really want this man in the dilevary room with you based on his actions and how he just laughes away something so important?" i told her to call me back and i will support her in whatever she wanted to do, but i just dont like him and will never like him especially after what he did to her with that girl and now hes laughing away at something thats really important to her.

 

UPDATE: they are getting married today at city hall, she announced it on FB. i did get a phone call she is very happy, she got her amazing proposal with a whole resturant cheering, very romantic. i told her yesterday i will be there for her whatever she decideds and i stuck by my word, i congratulated her and we talked for a bit, yesterday did not come u. she knows i will be there for her through anything, and if its marrying him that i will be there (in spirit today, physically at their big wedding in about a year). she is going to call me when she gets out, she also called to ask how it is in the courthouse since i was married at the same one 6 years ago. i hope it all turns out ok and im really glad i didnt lose my friend.

                                                     
Hey Jude, don't make it bad.
Take a sad song and make it better.
Remember to let her into your heart,
Then you can start to make it better.

Hey Jude, don't be afraid.
You were made to go out and get her.
The minute you let her under your skin,
Then you begin to make it better.

And anytime you feel the pain, hey Jude, refrain,
Don't carry the world upon your shoulders.
For well you know that it's a fool who plays it cool
By making his world a little colder

by on Jun. 3, 2010 at 2:31 PM
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Replies (1-6):
easinpc
by Silver Member on Jun. 3, 2010 at 3:14 PM

Hopefully she opens her eyes and sees him for who he really is!

Kharma25
by on Jun. 3, 2010 at 3:15 PM

Wow...

mrs.sgt
by on Jun. 3, 2010 at 3:17 PM

while I wouldn't have admitted to a good friend I didn't like their s/o, she's in a horrible relationship, hopefully she'll see that before it's too late. 

poshkat
by on Jun. 3, 2010 at 3:20 PM

i usualy always stick by that rule too. i would never impose my thoughts on my friends that i hated their SOs, bf/gf/ whatever. this is the first time i did this, and it will be the last. i hope she took my words and will think about this long and hard. i really did unleash everything i had in me the last 6 years. i mean i screamed at him and called him named and told him if he doesnt stop laughing im getting in my car right now to go over there and beat his sorry ass, and he laughed. he is so lucky i have a 3 year old that i dont want witnessing what i had in mind for my friends bf.

Quoting mrs.sgt:

while I wouldn't have admitted to a good friend I didn't like their s/o, she's in a horrible relationship, hopefully she'll see that before it's too late. 


                                                     
Hey Jude, don't make it bad.
Take a sad song and make it better.
Remember to let her into your heart,
Then you can start to make it better.

Hey Jude, don't be afraid.
You were made to go out and get her.
The minute you let her under your skin,
Then you begin to make it better.

And anytime you feel the pain, hey Jude, refrain,
Don't carry the world upon your shoulders.
For well you know that it's a fool who plays it cool
By making his world a little colder

dmarie2101
by Diamond Member on Jun. 3, 2010 at 3:24 PM

i have a friend like that...she was in love with a complete asshole. i told her from day one that he sucked balls. i told him, too. there was no love lost between us. they got married. i told her it was a mistake. they had 2 kids. he remained a complete jerk off. he put her down, talked down to her, laughed at her...i couldnt control what happened elsewhere, but i made damn sure he knew that shit doesnt fly at my house. if he didnt like it he could get the fuck out. (when they would visit) i told my friend right in front of him that she made a huge mistake marrying a man that treated her like that. i let him know what an arrogant loser he was. this asshole tried to get my husband to back him up. idiot. he eventually caught on. i wouldnt hide my disdain for him, but i wouldnt say anything to him if he kept his mouth shut. i basically acted like he wasnt there at all. if they ate at our house, i made her plate, and the kids...he could get it himself. he could be talking and id start talking like he wasnt saying a word. he asked me why i did that...i asked him if he didnt like being treated like that...he said "no one likes that shit"...well then now you know how ___ feels, huh?    i wish i had a camera for the look on his face.

they ended up getting divorced. her and i are still friends. i still see him at times, its a small town, and sometimes hes at her house to see his kids when i visit. hes made a few improvements, but not much. all i can tell you is keep being there for her. hopefully she'll wake up.

jojosmama1228
by on Jun. 3, 2010 at 4:04 PM

 well i went through something similar, i haven't talked to the girl everyone call my twin all through highschool in a year because she chose her now ex boyfriend and his clique over me, and i've recently found out that she's mad about something about my pregnancy probably because i didn't imedatly call her and tell her but i don't see why she wasn't talking to me.

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