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Good advice or bad advice???

Posted by on Jun. 3, 2010 at 7:28 PM
  • 3 Replies

OK so my husbands sister is all about DRAMA. And ironically, if she isn't causing drama or talking smack about someone she is talking about God. Yeeeah.

She has literally left messages on my phone CUSSING me out. Then at the end saying God is on her side and she will pray for me. :-/

So she has butted her nose into our business once again.

She first of all hates me because I am white. But to top it all off, my husband and I are raising her son. I'm sure its a sore spot for her to have a white women raising her son. But oh well!

Anyway. She has recently put her nose where it did not belong again and gave out some personal info to people that we did NOT want to have it. Like our HOME ADDRESS and PHONE NUMBERS!

My husband called her to talk to her about it and she did not answer the phone.

So I just told him that basically what she did was crappy. BUT, its NONE of her business at all. The fact that she butted in and gave out personal info, was totally wrong. But whats done is done. And talking to her about the rest of it is ridiculous. I said that he will not control her and will only be sucked into her drama and arguing if he calls her back again. I told him that if the person she gave info to contacts us, we will deal with it as it comes. But, it has nothing to do with his sis, so she wont be notified or argued with when that time comes. Her "part" in it is done.

I used to call her and fight with her on the phone in the past when she would cause drama for our family. But I no longer bother. I do not speak to her at all and I choose to keep her far from my thoughts. Other than drama, she never calls to speak to her son. She never calls us to see how he is doing. She never calls to see how her nephew is. So I choose not to let her spoil our lives. 

Do you think the advice I gave my husband about her was wrong? Since it is HIS sister, not Mine? 

I mean ultimately, if he WANTED to call her, I would not stop him. But, that was all I told him to do. Just not discuss it with her at all. 

by on Jun. 3, 2010 at 7:28 PM
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by on Jun. 3, 2010 at 7:31 PM

I think you are totally right. What she did she knew was wrong when she did it . "talking" to her about it just gives her more fuel for the fire and will NOT be a means to an end.

Best thing you can do is ignore her and her antics as much as possible, and give her very little to go on when you do have to deal with her.

by on Jun. 3, 2010 at 7:34 PM

I would be the same way as you but I can understand why your husband wants her to answer for her behavior.  He is going to have to come to this place on his own.  The only thing you can do is lend a supportive ear when he does get into contact with her.  It's got to be very tough for him and most times people just want an answer.  He will never get the answer he wants.  You know that but he has to realize it on his own.  Of all the things in my marriage I am grateful for my husband willingness to let me figure out my family on my own terms.  This has been one of the biggest gifts.  He knew I would not find what I wanted but he also had the sense to just listen to me when I needed to rant and to support my decisions when I made them.

by on Jun. 3, 2010 at 7:42 PM

I think it's great advice and you should pat yoruself on the back.

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