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Could his teacher have a valid point? (kinda long, sorry)

Posted by on Jun. 3, 2010 at 9:20 PM
  • 13 Replies

Okay, so this is a serious question.  My son is almost 11 years old and has some social issues.  He is not violent or anything, just has some social delays.  Basically, kids his own age find him to be annoying and don't want to be around him, but you get him with kids 2-5 years younger than he is and it is like you just dropped a fish back into water. 

Well, this afternoon I was talking to his teacher about something completely unrelated and he brought up my son's social immaturity.  He told me that he works with it fine, he knows that the boy is smart as a whip, just that other kids find him annoying.  He has a habit of being one of those kids that just annoys the shit out of other kids to get their attention, or to try and get them to like him.  I listened, and told him I understood, this is something we have been dealing with since the first grade.  Then he brought something up that blew me away.  He suggested that we get our son tested for autism before he starts middle school.  He thinks that his social immaturity is possible a sign that he is a high functioning autistic..possibly asperger's (spelling?).

So, here is my question, sorry it took so long to get here.  Do any of you think that he might be right?  DH says it never hurts to check, cause we know there is something wrong with him, we just don't know what.  Our son can understand that he annoys the shit out of others, and that it is not helping him at all..but he still does it.  Socially, he is about 6-8 while his actual age is almost 11. 

by on Jun. 3, 2010 at 9:20 PM
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by Ruby Member on Jun. 3, 2010 at 9:23 PM

i have no idea, but like you said yourself it doesn't hurt to check

by on Jun. 3, 2010 at 9:23 PM

while it is a possibility, I think a lot of people are too quick to slap the "autistic" label on someone who just doesn't fit the mold exactly.  children are different and develop at different paces, and that goes for every aspect of their development. 

my son is just as socially awkward as yours, and the high school even had us do a screening for Aspergers.  he is not on the spectrum anywhere, he's just a social misfit with his peers.  he obsesses about topics and can't seem to talk about anything else sometimes.  hopefully it will come with age and exposure to more people.

by on Jun. 3, 2010 at 9:24 PM

I think it is very possible I would have him checked your dh is right..its better to be safe then sorry and if he does have it then you can get him the help he needs..but if he dont then maybe he is just one of those kids that likes to annoy people or just cant word or focus his energy in a better way around other kids..good luck

by on Jun. 3, 2010 at 9:25 PM

It can't hurt to have him tested.

But, I'll tell you, it might be nothing. My sister was the same way growing up. Almost all of her friends were much younger than she was. That's just who she was able to get along with. She was very immature for her age. She's matured a lot in the last couple years though, and she's now a well-adjusted almost 20 year old. In fact, now it's the opposite, most of her friends are more my age (24).

On the other hand, I used to nanny for a boy with Asperger's. I believe he was 10 the first year I was with him. His friends were mostly younger too, so who knows....

by on Jun. 3, 2010 at 9:26 PM

My oldest dd is also a bit immature socially.  What I found that helped her was the Feingold diet, a modified version.  Basically she's very sensitve to food dyes.  When she has a food dye, it makes her jittery and annoying to others around her (though like your son, she does fine with younger children).  I can't explain why she is like this - all I know is that if I keep her off the food dyes, she does great socially.  Food dyes are everywhere, incl toothpaste!  Prior to figuring out her sensitivity, I was ready to do an autism assessment also.

by Ruby Member on Jun. 3, 2010 at 9:27 PM

 I don't know if it's that or not. My daughter used to annoy everyone and was so far behind socially. One day she just caught up. I think in the 7th grade. It could be he just isn't ready to be the age he is and nothing more. Do what you feel is best.

by on Jun. 3, 2010 at 9:28 PM

Test him.  Those are tell-tale signs of asperger's.  It does NOT mean that he has it, so better to be safe, than sorry.  If he does have it, or something else, seeking treatment now will no doubt help him in the long run.  Good luck!

by on Jun. 3, 2010 at 9:28 PM

I guess anything is a possibility, but what other symptoms does he show?

BTW...odd question, but I'm wondering, what month is his birthday in?

by on Jun. 3, 2010 at 9:29 PM

It wouldn't hurt to get him checked.  My son in 10 but gets along with younger kids easier than his peers.  He does not have autisim.  However he does have ADHD and from what his doctor told up this is normal.  Good luck to you.

by on Jun. 3, 2010 at 9:31 PM
It could be a sign but most likely he is just a little socially delayed. My neighbors son is that way and there is not a thing wrong with him, he just doesn't fit with kids his age.
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