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boys will be boys... New update.. the talk

Posted by on Jun. 13, 2010 at 2:04 AM
  • 109 Replies

Just looked at the history on my computer and my 12 year old has been looking at porn.. man.. now I have two hormonal crazy boys trying to look at porn on my computer.. god I hope my virus scanner can keep up.

*EDIT for people who can't read even the first 1-2 replies*

My son's both have their own accounts with passwords on each that only I know so I control how much time on the computer they get. Yes my younger sons has a blocker on it. I also check their histories and they are not allowed to delete them because I want to see what they are looking at and if they stayed on too long.

My son was on my husbands account because he, my husband, had forgotten to log it out. So he was also in trouble for going on it when he was not allowed to be on. He had used his time up for the day. I thought it was my sons account so I checked the history like I do everyday. Saw the google searches and called him over. Asked him why he was on the computer, busted him lying, made him read to me outloud the sites he was looking at. Embarrassed the heck out of him, sent him to bed and now he is not allowed on the computer until we have a good long talk about the things he might see and why its not a good place to learn about sex.

Feel better? Sorry if you think I am somehow a crappy parent for reacting to my childs behavor. Or maybe because i don't have a perfect child with no hormones or interest in sex like some of you who are apparently raising itty bitty future monks. Please just go on with your perfect life LOL

New update.. 'the talk'

Okay so just got him upstairs for breakfast and had dug out my copy of "Good Vibrations guide to sex". We had a good talk and I was amazed at how he wasn't even really too embarrassed.

lol.. poor kid.. he admitted he was curious because of the school talks and I said I was okay with him being curious, that it was normal but then explained why the Internet is not a good value source of information because its not controlled by anyone and people post things that are not good for anyone to see. Things involving children, animals, women being hurt etc that are not healthy and should never be part of a normal healthy sex life. Also sort of went over why they aren't healthy because there is no guarantee people are adults, consenting etc. I threw in why I believe he should wait to be an adult before having sex because sex comes with consequences and we talked about those. 

Then we talked about good sources of info like me or my husband or his dad, his school counsellor, the agency I used to work at, and then I gave him the book and told him he could keep it to read over and if he had questions it did not answer that I would be asking him in a few months and we could have another little talk. I also told him that looking online is not appropriate because of his younger brothers not being at an age where they are curious like he is.

One thing that did come up was his brother calling him gay and that it bothers him so we talked about that a bit. I will have to talk to his brother about it since I didn't know he was name calling and name calling is not allowed in my house at all, even saying 'stupid' I really can't handle name calling.

by on Jun. 13, 2010 at 2:04 AM
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Replies (1-10):
Godgaveme4
by on Jun. 13, 2010 at 2:05 AM

Is this a joke?

acaisha
by on Jun. 13, 2010 at 2:09 AM

well the virus scanner part was but nope I just busted him looking at porn. He has his own account on the computer that he can't but he was on my husbands because he left it on. So for now he is banned from the computer. I don't think he realized I could see the history and he had googled "boobs on women"

Quoting Godgaveme4:

Is this a joke?


massteria
by on Jun. 13, 2010 at 2:10 AM

I cannot condone the viewing of porn by a 12 year old, but having a boy that is hitting puberty...I feel you :) 

I would suggest creating another user on your computer (if you have windows you can do this easily..not sure about any other system tho).  You can set up parental controls, download free software if your computer didn't come with them.  And make sure that he can only access the Internet during certain times, when you can monitor more easily what he is doing on there.  That should help with the porn viewing problem. 

acaisha
by on Jun. 13, 2010 at 2:12 AM

oh I don't condone it either.. and he tried to lie to me until i called him over and made him read the google list off  he was so embarrassed I hope that alone makes him think twice. He has his own account with blockers but my husband had checked his email and left his account on.

Quoting massteria:

I cannot condone the viewing of porn by a 12 year old, but having a boy that is hitting puberty...I feel you :) 

I would suggest creating another user on your computer (if you have windows you can do this easily..not sure about any other system tho).  You can set up parental controls, download free software if your computer didn't come with them.  And make sure that he can only access the Internet during certain times, when you can monitor more easily what he is doing on there.  That should help with the porn viewing problem. 


mandaleigha
by on Jun. 13, 2010 at 2:12 AM

I giggled at this. All I can say is good luck...

Quoting acaisha:

well the virus scanner part was but nope I just busted him looking at porn. He has his own account on the computer that he can't but he was on my husbands because he left it on. So for now he is banned from the computer. I don't think he realized I could see the history and he had googled "boobs on women"

Quoting Godgaveme4:

Is this a joke?



frndlyfn
by Emerald Member on Jun. 13, 2010 at 2:12 AM

Was it porn or just nudie pics?  Either way it isnt ok that he was sneaking but that is what we get for having computers where boys in past decades have had to hide their girly magazines under mattresses.

acaisha
by on Jun. 13, 2010 at 2:13 AM

it actually just seems like he googled it and never clicked any results..

Quoting frndlyfn:

Was it porn or just nudie pics?  Either way it isnt ok that he was sneaking but that is what we get for having computers where boys in past decades have had to hide their girly magazines under mattresses.


KandiceN
by on Jun. 13, 2010 at 2:16 AM

Sorry I had to giggle at his search!

I fully dread the day I find any history like that on my computer!

Lilypie - (Cibd)

acaisha
by on Jun. 13, 2010 at 2:17 AM

LOL okay I just looked again and it was "boobs on women" and "showing vaginas on naked woman".. at least he used the proper words LOL so not funny but .. I have 4 boys.. if I didn't laugh I would go insane.

Quoting mandaleigha:

I giggled at this. All I can say is good luck...

Quoting acaisha:

well the virus scanner part was but nope I just busted him looking at porn. He has his own account on the computer that he can't but he was on my husbands because he left it on. So for now he is banned from the computer. I don't think he realized I could see the history and he had googled "boobs on women"

Quoting Godgaveme4:

Is this a joke?




acaisha
by on Jun. 13, 2010 at 2:20 AM

my 15 year old will google it sometimes.. I see it and just shake my head.. he is almost 16 and I am sure people will bash on but whatever, I figure at almost 16 if the worst he is doing is looking at a few nudies on the internet things could be way worse. I know he isn't having sex and he has had an extensive education around sex since I worked teaching safe sex for 7 years.

I am however NOT cool with my 12 year old to be looking and I think tomorrow we will have to sit down and talk about S.E.X once more. I sort of figured he might be earlier then my 15 year old because my older one never went through puberty until the he was almost 14 and he started already. Also they just had the sex education at school so I am pretty sure this is what sparked his interest, it was just last week they had the boy health sex talk.

Quoting KandiceN:

Sorry I had to giggle at his search!

I fully dread the day I find any history like that on my computer!


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