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Mom w/ drinking issues watching son...

Posted by on Jun. 13, 2010 at 9:38 AM
  • 8 Replies

This may be a little long, but I'd really appreciate some advice on this whole situation. My mom and step dad are very close with my two year old. They see him 2-3 times a week, he is their only grandchild and their whole life right now. They are very good with him and I have no complaints. Now, my mom has a drinking problem. She only drinks wine and doesn't get totally blitzed, but she gets to where she is slurring her words and her balance, judgement, etc are extremely impaired, and she can fall asleep at the drop of a hat and not be able to wake up without a violent shaking or something. She has been doing this almost every day since I was 12. She will sometimes quit for a few months then goes right back to it. She only drinks in the evenings usually when it's just her or her and my stepdad. I never leave my son with her with the exception of some Saturdays in the past when I was at school, but it was only in the daytime for a few hours and I knew she'd made comments before that she would never drink while watching him. She is an extremely cautious and protective parent and grandparent. But, she has poor judgement when it comes to this in my opinion. Now the problem is, I am due with my second child in a week. I have no friends and no one else to watch my son while I'm in the hospital. We had of course planned on my mom and stepdad watching my son for a few days, but I am nervous about her drinking while watching him since he'd be staying overnight. My fears recently got worse bc she knew we were coming over yesterday and was pretty drunk when we got there and was trying to run around w/ my son and trying to carry him up the stairs and doing several things that weren't really safe that she'd never do if she wasn't drinking. I usually expect her to know better than to drink before we come over,so I was surprised.  I want to talk to her about it, but it is really awkward and I think she'd just get mad. It's a very sensitive situation for her, she is ashamed of the drinking and it's not something she likes about herself, and we don't have the most open communication. I am in NO WAY going to put my son in any danger just bc I don't want to talk to her about it though, I am just trying to figure out how to resolve this. Her and my stepdadhave been very helpful to our family and are always there when we need them & I know I will probably insult her if I bring it up, and they will both be equally insulted if I decide to keep my son at the hospital with me and my husband. My stepdad is supposed to be there when they are watching him too, but he doesn't babysit my mom when she's drunk and I don't know how seriously he takes the safety issue of my mom watching my son while she's like that.

by on Jun. 13, 2010 at 9:38 AM
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Replies (1-8):
MommyRoz1988
by on Jun. 13, 2010 at 9:40 AM

" ..slurring her words and her balance, judgement, etc are extremely impaired, and she can fall asleep at the drop of a hat and not be able to wake up without a violent shaking or something." Thats not "totally blitzed"?

Aslen
by Platinum Member on Jun. 13, 2010 at 9:40 AM

start by tslking to your stepdad.

loviemama
by on Jun. 13, 2010 at 9:42 AM

Well, I guess to me totally blitzed would be making no sense at all or passed out. She can still kind of function but is very obviously drunk.

Quoting MommyRoz1988:

" ..slurring her words and her balance, judgement, etc are extremely impaired, and she can fall asleep at the drop of a hat and not be able to wake up without a violent shaking or something." Thats not "totally blitzed"?


Mackenzie40
by Platinum Member on Jun. 13, 2010 at 9:46 AM

 Can you talk w/step dad and ask HIM to watch your child? I wonder if your Mom at this point could actually skip a night of drinking without being pretty ill. Do you know if it's possible for her? Does step Dad drink with her? Does he want her to stop? Has the family ever gotten together to talk about a rehab with her? GL

NikkosMommy820
by Silver Member on Jun. 13, 2010 at 9:48 AM

I don't know.... My MIL is the same exact way....I have never left my son with her and I never will.....If I had to, I would be very worried just like you.... I really hope this works out and for your son's sake- I would just try to talk to her, it may make her upset and ashamed but your sons safety needs to come before her emotions about her problem. Good luck and congrats on the new babY!

loviemama
by on Jun. 13, 2010 at 9:50 AM

Well they are together all the time and watch him together, so it's not like he's going to keep him (my son) from her. My stepdad doesn't drink like that at all, only socially on rare occasions, and he does have a huge problem with her drinking. I just don't think he thinks of it as a big safety issue like I do. The whole thing is extremely difficult to talk to either of them about. She can and does skip drinking a lot of nights from time to time, it kind of comes and goes and you never know when she's going to be drinking all the time again.

Quoting Mackenzie40:

 Can you talk w/step dad and ask HIM to watch your child? I wonder if your Mom at this point could actually skip a night of drinking without being pretty ill. Do you know if it's possible for her? Does step Dad drink with her? Does he want her to stop? Has the family ever gotten together to talk about a rehab with her? GL


loviemama
by on Jun. 13, 2010 at 9:54 AM

BUMP!

Mackenzie40
by Platinum Member on Jun. 13, 2010 at 9:58 AM

 Honestly imo the only really safe option is to find someone else to watch your child. sorry .

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