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just what would u do...or have u been put in this situation?

Posted by on Jun. 13, 2010 at 10:40 PM
  • 15 Replies
ok this may be a little long and bare with me on some spelling im on a cell phone....but i have a major dilema and im not sure which way to go...my dd turned two in march and the man she knows as her daddy is not her biological father but he has been there since she was about six months old. her biological gma contacted me via email about eight months ago and wanted to see my dd...now even though she never contacted me before i set up arrangemts to meet at my mothers so it was all mutual grounds...well she tells me its just her and her husband comming and well when they pull up my dd bio father gets out of the car another one that has contacted me once or wice since she was born and both times he was wasted. so anyways i let it go he came in didnt have much to do with her the gma on the other hand did play with her take pictures all of that. my mother has been telling me letting them see my dd is the right thing to do on my part as her mother that way theres no hard feelings between me and my dd when she starts asking questions so i invited them to her bday and the gma and gpa came but not her bio father...to wrap this whole story up they are now wanting to change the name on her birth certificate and im not so sure i want to...and its not the father wanting to di its the gma i no its probably the right thing to do cause again when questions start arriving...me and my so never had plans on lieing to her about the fact that hes not her bio father when she got old enough to understand......so any mothers that have been threw this what did u do...or what would u do if u were to be put in this situation? any questions u may have i will answer in replies.
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by on Jun. 13, 2010 at 10:40 PM
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Replies (1-10):
carrieasia
by Silver Member on Jun. 13, 2010 at 10:45 PM
wow the only thin i can say is do what YOU feel is right. just from the info given, i wouldnt change the name, but that is me
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Bianca008
by on Jun. 13, 2010 at 10:45 PM

I would say no . You were not married to their son . If she was a boy and could carry on their family name then maybe . So I'd refuse if I were you.

mommaross2
by on Jun. 13, 2010 at 11:03 PM
come on ladies nobody has any suggestions?
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SuzyQ007
by on Jun. 13, 2010 at 11:05 PM

 I don't see how it's their place to ask such a thing. Is the father on the BC?

 




nemiller
by on Jun. 13, 2010 at 11:06 PM

why do they want you to change her name?  like, are they asking you to change her last name to bio dad's or something?

kriss1023
by on Jun. 13, 2010 at 11:07 PM

no....I dont think I would. If the bio dad was pushing then maybe consider it, but not if its just the grandparents.

snowpeasmom
by on Jun. 13, 2010 at 11:07 PM

I won't change my Son's name. When If he gets older and MY SON wants to then its is choice. My aunt had a guy that was in and out of her son's (my cousins) life, My cousin at 18 legel changed his name to my aunts name becuase he hated his father. Long story short, its up to my SON.

Melinda32
by Bronze Member on Jun. 13, 2010 at 11:08 PM

As far as I'm reading, she is your daughter and no one elses.  You choose what last name is on her birth certificate.  If you want to change her last name then you do it, if not they will have to live with it.  Honestly IMO I don't think there is any need to. 

MsDean
by on Jun. 13, 2010 at 11:09 PM

 Well my oldest has my last name and his dad is actively involved and wonderful. he and his family have never given me issues and if they had I would leave my last name and not change it. You should be direct and just tell them no. A name is just a name so they need to get over that and be grateful you are not holding bio dad's behaviour against them.

dababiesdreams
by on Jun. 13, 2010 at 11:10 PM
i'd refuse. Is her bio dad on her birth certificate?? If not then that leaves you open for your SO to adopt later if you so choose. The worse the gma can do is demand grandparents rights. And they can get grandparents rights even if your SO adopts. At least in some states.
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