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To the married moms who work full time

Posted by on Jun. 26, 2010 at 7:42 AM
  • 23 Replies

Just curious, for those of you who are married and both you and DH work full time, do you still find that cleaning, cooking and taking care of the kids are still mostly all your responsibility? When I say taking care of the kids I mean bathing, feeding, getting them ready in the morning, getting them ready for bed, putting them to bed, etc. OR do you and DH have shared responsibility where you both do half and half since you both work all day?

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by on Jun. 26, 2010 at 7:42 AM
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Replies (1-10):
okiemamaCyndi
by on Jun. 26, 2010 at 7:48 AM

I guess most of it does fall on me because my husband travels a lot.  When he's home we share most of the responsbility - pretty fair I think.  I think most people do feel the home is the wife's responsiblity - whether she works full time or not.  I mean, if my mother came to my house and it was a mess she wouldn't wonder why my HUSBAND hadn't picked it up! lol!

Cyndi

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klespeedy0205
by Silver Member on Jun. 26, 2010 at 7:54 AM

I work 12 hour shifts, not every day but 84 hours every two weeks so it works out.  My BF, my sons father, is a SAHD.  He does MOST the work around the house as I believe he should.  He cooks every night, does the yard work, and some stuff around the house.  When I get home I spend time with our son, make sure he eats, give him a bath and get him to bed.  I also clean.  I am a neat freak and I feel like I have to clean.  When I am on night shift 6p-6a my BF gets my DS ready for bed and everything that goes along with it.  He is a GREAT dad and helps out around the house.  I think since he is a SAHD he should.   

mom2ljh
by on Jun. 26, 2010 at 7:55 AM

Well, I'm in school full time, which time wise (between in class, homework and studying) is the same as a full time job.  I do find that DH still expects me to do 100%.  He is working full time and in school full time though.  We do our best not to kill each other, lol.

LaDanseuse
by on Jun. 26, 2010 at 7:56 AM

That's good :) I'm a SAHM and do what your BF does too. SO will come home and help out sometimes by helping me cook or giving our daughter a bath.

Quoting klespeedy0205:

I work 12 hour shifts, not every day but 84 hours every two weeks so it works out.  My BF, my sons father, is a SAHD.  He does MOST the work around the house as I believe he should.  He cooks every night, does the yard work, and some stuff around the house.  When I get home I spend time with our son, make sure he eats, give him a bath and get him to bed.  I also clean.  I am a neat freak and I feel like I have to clean.  When I am on night shift 6p-6a my BF gets my DS ready for bed and everything that goes along with it.  He is a GREAT dad and helps out around the house.  I think since he is a SAHD he should.   


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LaDanseuse
by on Jun. 26, 2010 at 7:57 AM

Good for both of you!! It will definitely pay off in the end!

Quoting mom2ljh:

Well, I'm in school full time, which time wise (between in class, homework and studying) is the same as a full time job.  I do find that DH still expects me to do 100%.  He is working full time and in school full time though.  We do our best not to kill each other, lol.


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lapcounter
by Super Mom on Jun. 26, 2010 at 8:00 AM
Yes it is my responsibility I am their mother, I also choose it to be my responsibility, will my husband to this chores yes.
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jcsg
by on Jun. 26, 2010 at 8:00 AM

Our situationa is different than most.  We have 2 teens and a baby.  I work exactely 40hrs a week and my husband works 40-60hrs.  Since I'm home by 4pm, I make dinner and do any errands.  The older two have chores that they have to do daily so that takes some of the pressure off. 

I probably do 70% of the main household chores, but I'm also home earlier and more than my husband.  We do take turns wtih the daily care of the baby.  And on his days off, I sleep in or go to work and he takes care of the baby. 

We also don't (I try anyways) to not let the little stuff get to us.  Laundry can fill up the hampers, but as long as everyone has clothes still, the laundry can wait.  Dinner doesn't always have to be a huge production, sometimes pizza or a pot of spaghetti is just fine.  We prioritze.  If something doesn't have to be done right away, it can wait.  And if something needs to be done, it just gets done, by whoever can do it at the time.

mom2ljh
by on Jun. 26, 2010 at 8:03 AM

He's just in school b/c the coast guard will pay for it and he doesn't think they pay him enough, so he's going to get every additional dime he can from them, lol.  He's so funny.  He normally goes half-time, but because the fiscal year is nearly over, he signed up for a full load (9 hours, but 2 classes are half length, so equivalent to 15 hours) to use up all of his Tuition Assistance before the fiscal year restarts.

Quoting LaDanseuse:

Good for both of you!! It will definitely pay off in the end!

Quoting mom2ljh:

Well, I'm in school full time, which time wise (between in class, homework and studying) is the same as a full time job.  I do find that DH still expects me to do 100%.  He is working full time and in school full time though.  We do our best not to kill each other, lol.



Amanda ~ Mommy to my little miracle Landon Joel
born 6 weeks too soon~6-21-07, former refluxer, multiple food allergies, verbal regression, and the coolest kid on the block.

Then                                           Now
 

LadyIsobel
by on Jun. 26, 2010 at 8:06 AM


Quoting LaDanseuse:

Just curious, for those of you who are married and both you and DH work full time, do you still find that cleaning, cooking and taking care of the kids are still mostly all your responsibility? When I say taking care of the kids I mean bathing, feeding, getting them ready in the morning, getting them ready for bed, putting them to bed, etc. OR do you and DH have shared responsibility where you both do half and half since you both work all day?

We have always had shared responsibility and we help each other with everything that is needed to be done around the house and in our family.

I work full-time and so does he so we have to share.

kemmerer411
by on Jun. 26, 2010 at 8:18 AM
I work full time... my fiance does also. But yes, I do most things with our dd while I'm home, it is draining. I have been pressuring df to do more with the baby to help me out bc I am soooo tired. Its caused a few arguments but he's been stepping up a little bit.
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