Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Punishing a 3 yr old.

Posted by on Jun. 26, 2010 at 12:41 PM
  • 8 Replies

This morning my three year old decides she's going to refuse to pick up her toys. Her room is baby proofed, and she usually plays a little while before waking me up. Then when she does wake me up, I make her clean her mess up before going downstairs for breakfast. Well.. this morning she decides she's just not going to. She wants to play. I told her that I could throw all her toys away if she's not going to pick them up. Well, she's smart enough to know I'm not really going to throw them all away, and she told me "yeah, throw my toys away." I told her ok that I will later and took her downstairs to get something to eat.

When she came back upstairs, all her toys were gone. I took everything out of her room, except books and stuffed animals. I know she's only three, but I'm tired of her telling me "no." Her daddy thinks I'm not hard enough on her, and he thinks that she should get a spanking for telling us no and not listening. I think maybe my approach is a little bit better...

I kind of feel bad, but she seems to be ok with it. Then again, she still has her downstair toys, but she is not allowed to take them upstairs. I told her that if she's a good girl today, doesnt tell us no, and she picks up all her messes that she can have her toys back tomorrow. She seems ok with that... She's sad that she doesnt ahve her toys, but she didnt throw a fit. Thank goodness b/c that's what I expected.

by on Jun. 26, 2010 at 12:41 PM
Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Replies (1-8):
mnmsmom2008
by on Jun. 26, 2010 at 12:46 PM

The only suggestion that I have is don't tell her you're throwing them away when you're not really going to.  It works just as well to tell her that you are bagging them up and putting them in the top of the closet where she can't play with them.  (That's what I tell my kids)  I try to never threaten things that I'm not carrying through on.  I rarely ever spank, only for serious misbehavior, by her telling you no and disobeying she is just trying to exert her independence, she is realizing she is her own person and is capable of making decisions without mom and dad.  It's just a normal part of growing up.  Also, I allow my kids the chance to earn privledges back that I've taken away, I think it's good for teaching them about making the correct choices in life.

masastan
by on Jun. 26, 2010 at 12:50 PM

My grandma used to do that to us. We would only get one toy back at a time. But if it doesn't seem to bother her, I would recommend a spanking. She obviously has no respect for your authority and you need to correct that NOW! If you don't, she will ALWAYS give you problems and they will get worse and worse. But keep in mind, spanking doesn't always work either. Each child is different and needs to be disciplined differently. Sometimes, one swat on the behind is all it takes! But if you do it and she laughs at you, you need to find something else all together!

MayBaby0507
by on Jun. 26, 2010 at 1:04 PM


Quoting masastan:

My grandma used to do that to us. We would only get one toy back at a time. But if it doesn't seem to bother her, I would recommend a spanking. She obviously has no respect for your authority and you need to correct that NOW! If you don't, she will ALWAYS give you problems and they will get worse and worse. But keep in mind, spanking doesn't always work either. Each child is different and needs to be disciplined differently. Sometimes, one swat on the behind is all it takes! But if you do it and she laughs at you, you need to find something else all together!


It does bother her that I took her toys away. What I was saying was that I expected more of a dramatic tantrum from her, since all her toys are gone. Instead, she seemed to understand why I took them and how she can get them back. She's listening very well right now

snugglesaurus
by on Jun. 26, 2010 at 1:08 PM

When my two year old refuses to put her toys away, I say "do I need to put them in a trash bag" and if she tries to call my bluff, I get out a trash bag and make a big show out of fluffing it out. I don't actually say I'm going to throw them away b/c I wouldn't do that. But if she didn't listen, I would put them in a trash bag and leave them in the closet for a little while until she was ready to listen...

So far, it works every time; as soon as she sees the trash bag she gets busy. (I only use it as a last resort though. I did read that little kids can't understand general terms like 'clean your toys up' but you have to direct them with statements such as 'put those books on the book shelf' 'put these toys here in the toy box' etc)

MayBaby0507
by on Jun. 26, 2010 at 1:12 PM


Quoting snugglesaurus:

When my two year old refuses to put her toys away, I say "do I need to put them in a trash bag" and if she tries to call my bluff, I get out a trash bag and make a big show out of fluffing it out. I don't actually say I'm going to throw them away b/c I wouldn't do that. But if she didn't listen, I would put them in a trash bag and leave them in the closet for a little while until she was ready to listen...

So far, it works every time; as soon as she sees the trash bag she gets busy. (I only use it as a last resort though. I did read that little kids can't understand general terms like 'clean your toys up' but you have to direct them with statements such as 'put those books on the book shelf' 'put these toys here in the toy box' etc)

Well, I'm glad i'm not the only parent that uses the "taking the toys away" method. I felt bad as I took every toy out of her room.

Yeah, thats usually how I have to get my daughter to clean up is by telling her to pick up her princess stuff & put it in her princess box, then tell her to pick her books up, etc. She's been really good about it, until today. She's even gotten to where she will put the toys in the container I tell her to, and then put the container where its supposed to go. I guess today was just an off day for us. Idk.

Charweba
by on Jun. 26, 2010 at 1:20 PM

Well I guess I'm different b/c when I tell DS I'm going to throw his toys away he knows I'm serious! I will actually throw them away! I start with the cheapest toys that he owns or I start with the toys that he loves the most. He tried to tell me NO when I told him to pick up his toys in the living room. An I told him ok I will clean them up and throw them him away he said No So I picked them up about the time I got to the 3rd toy he was looking at me like I can not believe you are throwing my toys away. Then once I picked up his tigger toy that he can't live without he screamed "ok I'll clean up don't throw Tigger away!!" So I gave Tigger back and he cleaned up. But like one of the post said follow through with the punishment.

pookie_1228
by on Jun. 26, 2010 at 1:23 PM

You're going to have her thinking that it's okay to lie by telling her you're going to throw them away when you're not really going to when she has already found out that you may have taken them away but you aren't throwing them away like you said.

littleluvkitty
by Platinum Member on Jun. 26, 2010 at 1:26 PM

good job mama!!!

Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)