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need some advice...not sure how to handle the situation

Posted by on Jun. 26, 2010 at 1:04 PM
  • 7 Replies

 I have a nephew who's 7 years old. He has a combination of ADHD and bipolar disorder. due to at home circumstances(my opinion) he's being held back in first grade. He has a HORRIBLE at home life. His mom is gone..and only comes back to see him and his sisters when forced..he's living him my husband's mom(my MIL) who needless to say is a whackjob.

School issues started while his mom was still living in the same home. He would take so long on his homework and since her life is more important she would rush him to do it or do it for him so therefore the child has learned nothing.

My needing advice comes from..even thou i can't stand his mother or his grandma....i have offered to help him next school year. I have tudored kids before but never this young and never with the extensive issues he has. I just need some tips as my oldest child is only 4. My nephew tends to listen to me better than his mom or grandma and i can usually work through moments when his disorder tries to take over.

before ne one asks....they can't afford to hire a tudor....and my nephew doesn't really do well with strangers. im offering my help because no matter the animosity between me and his mom/grandma i hate seeing a child struggle in school and being held back because he's not gettin the proper attention.

by on Jun. 26, 2010 at 1:04 PM
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Replies (1-7):
much2learn
by on Jun. 26, 2010 at 1:08 PM

I don't have any advice, but you might find some guidance from some of the ADHD groups on CafeMom.  Kudos to you for being willing to step in and tutor this poor kid.

allurasmamma
by on Jun. 26, 2010 at 1:12 PM

 I think it is real nice of you to offer a solution.

I think any one on one time will help him learn.

I also have a son who has severe ADHD. And he works best alone and in the quietest place. Sometimes on Fridays, he gets to pick where we do his homework, if he has done good all week. this can range from outside to the park. But alone and less distraction is best.

We also use charts. For behavior and assignments. And flashcards. And I use a dry erase board and write big and use pictures to explain details of things. I also coach him in things that he likes to do. We incorporate that into everyday learning.

If there is any other kind of advice I can offer you , feel free to ask.

My son will be 7 in July.

allurasmamma
by on Jun. 26, 2010 at 1:16 PM

 Oh and patients. Kids with learning disabilities can be difficult. And you have to be patient. They take extra time and they need that extra time.

AustinsMommy306
by on Jun. 26, 2010 at 1:22 PM

 

Quoting allurasmamma:

 Oh and patients. Kids with learning disabilities can be difficult. And you have to be patient. They take extra time and they need that extra time.

 i've also noticed distraction works too. he was here a couple of weeks ago and about to go into a melt down over not gettin his way and i simply got on his level and simply asked him if he was hurt, bleeding or dying..he smiled and said no i'm not...i said ok then ur fine....he instantly calmed down and went about hsi business..his mom and grandma can't seem to get that..instead when he started freakin out and whining or screaming they yell at him and make it worse

leslieOli
by Bronze Member on Jun. 26, 2010 at 1:23 PM

You my friend has a wonderful soul! If you can take this on then by all means help this child out. I would, before anything starts, do as much research as you can on ADHD and bipolar. Knowledge is power, he's not an average child, he's going to need someone who understands him and can be patient, also someone who understands his triggers and stressors to decrease the chances of  a manic or depressed episodes that comes with bipolar. Im glad that there are such empathetic people out there like you. Thank you :)

Mommyof2boys38
by on Jun. 26, 2010 at 1:29 PM

I would really look in to everyhting... Because as a nursing student i have learned that you can diagnose a child with bipolar till they are at least 18. I just dont like to see a child on meds if they dont need them. Hope this helps. Other then that i think what you are doing is a very good thing. He needs all the guidence he can get.

AustinsMommy306
by on Jun. 26, 2010 at 1:47 PM

 

Quoting Mommyof2boys38:

I would really look in to everyhting... Because as a nursing student i have learned that you can diagnose a child with bipolar till they are at least 18. I just dont like to see a child on meds if they dont need them. Hope this helps. Other then that i think what you are doing is a very good thing. He needs all the guidence he can get.

 i really want to do this. i just really hope my MIL can put our differences aside a truly let me help this child. i feel so sorry for him. if i could take on more kids i would but i have 3 of my own that are 4 and under..2 of them being under 18 months old.

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