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My husband cheated.... no bashing please.

Posted by on Jun. 26, 2010 at 1:44 PM
  • 32 Replies

I don't know what to do. i do not want to leave, but I know its what i should do. For starters, no he didn't have sex with her, but about a yr ago they had an inapropriate relationship going on and there was texting and kissing going on. Thats bad enough. So, when I found out I made him leave for a night to think about what I really wanted. I told her to leave my family alone and find her own man. They went about a yr without talking and recently ran into eachother. I just found out that since they saw eachother a few weeks ago they have been talking via email. I read all the messages and although nothing is sexual, it is still a conversation thats inapropriate, and not ok for a married man to be having. He should have told me that she contacted him after they saw eachother. I know she contacted him first, as I talked to her today and she admitied this. I dont know what to think. i am so hurt. He should have told me they were talking again and not tried to hide it. Any thoughts.

by on Jun. 26, 2010 at 1:44 PM
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Replies (1-10):
NickiNavarro
by on Jun. 26, 2010 at 1:48 PM

COUNSELING

I don't think this is something that is easy to solve on you own. Also for me I picked a counselor around my husbands age, and who was a male...because my husband listens to people he perceives as peers better, in my opinion. I'm always a big advocate for counseling. Good Luck

MZ.ZAPATA1015
by on Jun. 26, 2010 at 1:48 PM

 IM SORRY TO HEAR THAT GIRL. IVE BEEN THERE. THE BEST THING TO DO IS HAVE A GOOD CONVERSTAION WITH UR HUSBAND AND LET HIM KNOW HOW UR FEELING AND THAT U R NOT COMFORTABLE WITH THAT.GIRL I REALLY HOPE UR ABLE TO WORK THINGS OUT.

armywifenmom09
by on Jun. 26, 2010 at 1:49 PM

 I'd ask him to delete and block her from everything or I would leave....

Staying sucks.... trust me

CJsMommy312
by on Jun. 26, 2010 at 1:50 PM

((Hugs)) to you. I just went thru this with my stbx. Any inappropirate conversation between a married man and a woman who is not is wife is wrong and cheating in my opinion. My stbx had physical and emotional affairs (thru FB) and I finally have had enough.

Your husband needs to respect you and completely cut contact with this girl. Its obvious that they can't be just friends without things getting inappropriate. Sit him down and let him know your feelings and that that can't go on anymore.

mistie900
by on Jun. 26, 2010 at 1:50 PM

I agree with this

Quoting NickiNavarro:

COUNSELING

I don't think this is something that is easy to solve on you own. Also for me I picked a counselor around my husbands age, and who was a male...because my husband listens to people he perceives as peers better, in my opinion. I'm always a big advocate for counseling. Good Luck


bigmommasmomma
by on Jun. 26, 2010 at 1:51 PM
you dont always have to leave. try counceling. if that doesnt work leave u may find yourself happier that way. good luck
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pixie_trix
by on Jun. 26, 2010 at 1:51 PM

IF I were you (and yes, I have been cheated on)...  I would follow through with whatever agreements the two of you made after reconciling from the first time he cheated.

Me personally.. My husband had a one night stand with a coworker over 15 years ago. It took us several years to reconcile. It took over 1 year before I let him move back into the house, it took another 2 years of working on our problems that led to our marriage falling apart to begin with in order to start rebuilding our marriage... Now married 24 years, marriage has been rebuilt to be a marriage better than the one we had in the beginning..  Through all of this. Agreements were made. Even a fully legal, attorney drawn up, notarized, judge approved Post nup agreement. This agreement laid out everything from: property division, child support, child custody, alimoney...ect.. And how those things would be split up if we divorced due to him cheating...... So me personally.. If my husband were to get into contact with a woman again (like yours has) or just get involved with another woman (no matter how little involvement it is... when I say ANY involvement, I mean ANY..lol)  I would immediately divorce and take all that is rightfully mine and agreed upon in our post nup.

Now.. That's me and what I would do.. Based on what we agreed to when we reconciled.

You must do what you feel is best for you and yours.. 

Good luck. Whatever you decide to do. Will not be an easy decision. Nor will it be an easy road to follow through on either. Whether that's leaving or staying.

                   

Ladyinthewater
by on Jun. 26, 2010 at 1:51 PM

I can allow for one f$#* up but after that Im done... so this would be strike 2 and i would be telling my husband to find another place to live... I don't beleive in Counseling it doesn't do a damn thing if someone doens't want to change u can't make them.. I woud start thinking about who to get for a divorce lawyer.

Charweba
by on Jun. 26, 2010 at 1:54 PM

exactly and then do the counseling thing. He needs to know that a married man does not need to have contact with a single woman. It makes him look untrustworthy. if he needs attention he should get that from his wife. 

Quoting MZ.ZAPATA1015:

 IM SORRY TO HEAR THAT GIRL. IVE BEEN THERE. THE BEST THING TO DO IS HAVE A GOOD CONVERSTAION WITH UR HUSBAND AND LET HIM KNOW HOW UR FEELING AND THAT U R NOT COMFORTABLE WITH THAT.GIRL I REALLY HOPE UR ABLE TO WORK THINGS OUT.


hmorg1
by on Jun. 26, 2010 at 1:55 PM


Quoting NickiNavarro:

COUNSELING

I don't think this is something that is easy to solve on you own. Also for me I picked a counselor around my husbands age, and who was a male...because my husband listens to people he perceives as peers better, in my opinion. I'm always a big advocate for counseling. Good Luck

ty.he has been to counciling and i have been with him before as well. i do think i will help him find a male counselor, as even his female one told me that men seem to learn betterfrom men.

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