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Tips on keeping a strong marriage.

Posted by on Jun. 26, 2010 at 1:54 PM
  • 18 Replies

I think many of us could use a boost on how to keep a strong marriage.We get so caught up with our children, oftentimes we forget to work on the marriage.


1. Dont flirt with those outside of your marriage. If you do, in the back of your mind you begin to view them as alternatives if your marriage doesnt work out. After all, why try so hard when you can have an escape route? These relationships often leave your spouse feeling threatened too.

2. Pay attention to what your spouse has to say and show respect. Give them your undivided attention. Be polite.

3. Do activities together that you both enjoy. Take time out for eachother.

4. Learn from your experiences and dont bring up the past.

5. Never say "I told you so". It makes your spouse feeling belittled. When you are wrong admit it; when you are right, shut up.

6. Dont keep score. Just because your spouse may do something doesnt mean to need to even it out.

7. Let go of the little things. Pick and choose your battles.

8. Greet your spouse happily, make them feel loved and appreciated.

9. Respect their privacy and have trust in them.

10. Set respectful boundaries.

11. Be loving.

12. Dont compare them to others. Afterall, you married them for who they are, right? Not for who you want them to be.

13. Verbalize your needs. Dont expect your spouse to read your mind.

14. Do not criticize, especially in public!

15. Be careful with the kids. Dont bring your children into the relationship and dont allow your kids to pit you against eachother. Have a common ground.

16. Minimize money conflicts. Financially stressors are one of the biggest things in divorces.

17. Set time for conflicts. Dont leave the conflict unresolved. It creates a bigger problem in the long run.

18. Look for solutions in conflicts. example, if your spouse says you are noisy, instead of saying "no Im not" find a way to be quieter. And if your spouse leaves their laundry on the floor, instead of fighting over it, put a box there.

19. Be forgiving.

20. (along with #14) If you do need to criticize, correct them at the right time.

21. Take the words "always" and "never" out of arguements.

Guidelines for arguements...

22. Stay in the present and do not bring up the past.

23. Watch your behavior.

24. Take time outs when things get too tense.

25. Keep up with your responsibilities. Just because you  have a fight doesnt mean you arent going to do their laundry, cook their dinner, or whatever your normal responsibilities may be.

26. If all else fails, dont be afraid to see outside help to save your marriage.



by on Jun. 26, 2010 at 1:54 PM
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Replies (1-10):
Vegetarianmama
by on Jun. 26, 2010 at 1:56 PM
Very nice! Bump.
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
rennez
by on Jun. 26, 2010 at 1:57 PM

bumpity bump bump. 

Rhyne
by on Jun. 26, 2010 at 1:57 PM
Bump!!!
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
slm047
by on Jun. 26, 2010 at 1:57 PM

bump.

MamaOlivia
by on Jun. 26, 2010 at 2:18 PM

Bump Bump Bump.

Mrs.Shea85
by on Jun. 26, 2010 at 3:57 PM

BUMP..Great Advice!!

haydsmom2007
by on Jun. 26, 2010 at 4:45 PM

i want to put this somewhere where I can keep it with me for the future... did you find it somewhere or did you write it yourself?? Can you put where you got if you didn't write it yourself??

FutureSoccerM0m
by Platinum Member on Jun. 26, 2010 at 4:47 PM

 Do not tell your family about ANY arguments.

mrsmoore02
by on Jun. 26, 2010 at 4:48 PM

My DH must be the exception to #18 in regards to the laundry issue.  He throws it on the floor.  I put a laundry basket there.  He throws it on the floor NEXT TO the laundry basket :/

I guess that's what's made me pretty good at picking and choosing my battles...

laranadtony
by Emerald Member on Jun. 26, 2010 at 4:50 PM

I have a strong marriage without a bunch of rules.

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