Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

not asking for bashing just simply need advice...

Posted by on Jun. 26, 2010 at 2:45 PM
  • 27 Replies
ill just get straight to the point here, i have a four year ds and a two year old dd, ever since my son was in diapers and realized he had a peepee he never really seemed interested in it besides the usual he would put his hand down there while i was changing his diaper i would always move his hand and tell him no no...well with my dd she did the same thing she would put her hand down there while changing her diaper like every other kid on the planet and i would do the same thing to her, move her hand and tell her no, well this morning we were in the shower together and i was rinsing the shampoo outta my hair and i looked down and she had her hand down there rubbing on it, i no alot of kids discover there parts and all they no is it feels good...the only people she ever stays with is my mom, my grandparents and her daddy...my biggest question is anyone with girls have this issue, or should i be looking for signs of sexual abuse, and if i should be looking for signs what kind of signs should i be looking for...now like i said im not posting this for all the drama mommas i simply just need advice, my son never done this and if he did i just never realized it so i dont know if maybe girls are just a little different and the only time ive seen her do it was in the shower/bath.
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
by on Jun. 26, 2010 at 2:45 PM
Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Replies (1-10):
AutymsMommy
by Ruby Member on Jun. 26, 2010 at 2:46 PM

It is completely age appropriate.

Instead of telling her "no, we don't do that", tell her that she can do that in her bedroom when she is alone. Giving children options makes them less likely to rebel.

I am a Private School sending, Vaccinating, Non spanking, Nightmare Cuddling, Dessert Giving, Homework Helping, Bedtime Kissing, Book Reading, Academic pushing Mother. I believe in the benefit of organized after school activities. I believe in spoiling my children. I believe that I have seen the village and I do not want it raising my child - I will do that, Thank You. I believe that a woman's place is in the home taking care of her house, children and husband. I am submissive and proud, my husband is head of my home. I am a proud, traditional Roman Catholic, as is my husband... Yes we are teaching our children that The Church is the only Church.               Aimee


 

gwebkeijmmm
by Platinum Member on Jun. 26, 2010 at 2:50 PM
It IS normal. But don`t tell her no. Have an age appropriate talk with her about what it is. If you make them feel ashamed it will cause more problems when they do get older.
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
vgmomof2grtkds
by on Jun. 26, 2010 at 2:50 PM

I agree.  My daughter did that.  All kids go through a phase of discovering their bodies.  The only time I tell them to get their hands away from there is when they have done a very messy #2 and I don't want them smearing shit everywhere.

Quoting AutymsMommy:

It is completely age appropriate.

Instead of telling her "no, we don't do that", tell her that she can do that in her bedroom when she is alone. Giving children options makes them less likely to rebel.


                                                          

TariMeccico
by on Jun. 26, 2010 at 2:52 PM

Totally normal i just tell dd to do that in her room by herself. and dd is 3 almost 4.

mommaross2
by on Jun. 26, 2010 at 2:53 PM
yeah i wouldnt imagine a very messy numero 2 would be a good time to discover themselves, this helped alot ladies i just didnt no if maybe girls were a little more noticeable of themselves at this age or if i needed to start looking for other signs of stuff


Quoting vgmomof2grtkds:

I agree.  My daughter did that.  All kids go through a phase of discovering their bodies.  The only time I tell them to get their hands away from there is when they have done a very messy #2 and I don't want them smearing shit everywhere.

Quoting AutymsMommy:

It is completely age appropriate.


Instead of telling her "no, we don't do that", tell her that she can do that in her bedroom when she is alone. Giving children options makes them less likely to rebel.



Posted on CafeMom Mobile
Jennifer63080
by Platinum Member on Jun. 26, 2010 at 2:53 PM

 this is an interesting question. I've always been told that masturbating is normal. and my dd does it sometimes before going to sleep, she will like put her arm down there and squeeze.  I took her to her pediatrician because she was all red and sore down there and the doc said, 'just tell her that's not right, and keep reinforcing to not do that'.......I was so shocked I didn't say anything. but i'm thinkin 'What?!'

AutymsMommy
by Ruby Member on Jun. 26, 2010 at 2:54 PM

Nothing to be concerned about on it's own :o)

My daughter went through the same stage as a toddler/preschooler.

Quoting mommaross2:

yeah i wouldnt imagine a very messy numero 2 would be a good time to discover themselves, this helped alot ladies i just didnt no if maybe girls were a little more noticeable of themselves at this age or if i needed to start looking for other signs of stuff


Quoting vgmomof2grtkds:

I agree.  My daughter did that.  All kids go through a phase of discovering their bodies.  The only time I tell them to get their hands away from there is when they have done a very messy #2 and I don't want them smearing shit everywhere.

Quoting AutymsMommy:

It is completely age appropriate.


Instead of telling her "no, we don't do that", tell her that she can do that in her bedroom when she is alone. Giving children options makes them less likely to rebel.




I am a Private School sending, Vaccinating, Non spanking, Nightmare Cuddling, Dessert Giving, Homework Helping, Bedtime Kissing, Book Reading, Academic pushing Mother. I believe in the benefit of organized after school activities. I believe in spoiling my children. I believe that I have seen the village and I do not want it raising my child - I will do that, Thank You. I believe that a woman's place is in the home taking care of her house, children and husband. I am submissive and proud, my husband is head of my home. I am a proud, traditional Roman Catholic, as is my husband... Yes we are teaching our children that The Church is the only Church.               Aimee


 

NickiNavarro
by on Jun. 26, 2010 at 2:54 PM


Quoting AutymsMommy:

It is completely age appropriate.

Instead of telling her "no, we don't do that", tell her that she can do that in her bedroom when she is alone. Giving children options makes them less likely to rebel.


agree! I don't ever tell my daughter she shouldn't touch herself, I just tell her she should only do it in private.

AutymsMommy
by Ruby Member on Jun. 26, 2010 at 2:55 PM

I think... the issue with very young children and masturbation is that it is difficult to explain to them that it's okay for THEM to do to themselves, but not okay for others to do them. KWIM?

Quoting Jennifer63080:

 this is an interesting question. I've always been told that masturbating is normal. and my dd does it sometimes before going to sleep, she will like put her arm down there and squeeze.  I took her to her pediatrician because she was all red and sore down there and the doc said, 'just tell her that's not right, and keep reinforcing to not do that'.......I was so shocked I didn't say anything. but i'm thinkin 'What?!'


I am a Private School sending, Vaccinating, Non spanking, Nightmare Cuddling, Dessert Giving, Homework Helping, Bedtime Kissing, Book Reading, Academic pushing Mother. I believe in the benefit of organized after school activities. I believe in spoiling my children. I believe that I have seen the village and I do not want it raising my child - I will do that, Thank You. I believe that a woman's place is in the home taking care of her house, children and husband. I am submissive and proud, my husband is head of my home. I am a proud, traditional Roman Catholic, as is my husband... Yes we are teaching our children that The Church is the only Church.               Aimee


 

mommaross2
by on Jun. 26, 2010 at 2:59 PM
i dont think shell understand what im talking about if i tell her to do that in her room, but maybe if i tell her EVERY time shell get the hang of it, her dad flipped out saying theres no way she needs to no what that is right now.
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)