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Awkward MIL convo with DH

Posted by on Jun. 26, 2010 at 10:43 PM
  • 10 Replies

So, we have an almost 2 y/o and I'm due with no. 2 in Feb. I happened to overhear DH talking to FIL about our daycare/working situation when the baby is born. He happened to mention that my MIL is wanting to kind of start a babysitting gig, watching DH's nephew and their unborn, as well as my son and unborn, when the time comes. While I can see this is a cheaper alternative, I do NOT feel comfortable with my MIL keeping my kids full time. Once in a while bothers me enough...she doesn't offer healthy food, she lets the kids wear saggy pee pee diapers, she doesn't have a set schedule for naps and food, playtime...anything.

How do I go about telling DH without hurting his feelings that I just do not want her to keep my children? I'm happy with the babysitter Connor currently has (it's DH's cousin) and he does well there, and she is very good with schedule and keeping the kids clean. MIL does not. Suggestions, anyone?

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by on Jun. 26, 2010 at 10:43 PM
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Replies (1-10):
luv_my_xiya
by on Jun. 26, 2010 at 10:46 PM

just tell her that connor is comfortable there and you really dont want to move him, so the new baby will just go there too

caiti
by on Jun. 26, 2010 at 10:49 PM

It's true, but I'm really afraid of it getting petty. And since his current babysitter is MIL's niece, I'm also afraid she'd agree also. It's still a hypothetical situation of course, but I just don't see eye to eye parenting wise with my MIL..or much else either.

caiti
by on Jun. 26, 2010 at 10:52 PM

BUMP!

hautemama83
by on Jun. 26, 2010 at 10:54 PM

 I would just tell him its not going to happen, and when he asks why, tell him exactly what you said here.

Kat770
by on Jun. 26, 2010 at 10:55 PM

I think it might be a good idea to keep it light.  Don't mention it first, but if it comes up, just kind of shrug and say, "Well, I guess we never gave it much thought since DS1 is so happy there.  DH'sCousin keeps him in a good routine and it has always worked out for us.  You are a special grandmother, though, and we'll make sure you get to see your grandbabies plenty!"

mommy2cristian
by Gold Member on Jun. 26, 2010 at 10:55 PM

 well what does your dh say?  surely he's noticed or you've mentioned this before to him about the diapers & such.  there's really nothing to it but to do it.  :)

TawnyR
by on Jun. 26, 2010 at 10:56 PM
It makes no sense to change sitters. Another baby will be a huge change for Connor. And in a change in sitter and you could have a lot of issues on your hands with him. It would be in his best interest for him to stay where he is comfortable.
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caiti
by on Jun. 26, 2010 at 10:57 PM

All comments true, thanks ladies. I guess I just needed the reassurance that just because someone is family...doesn't mean they need to be the babysitter.

ShadesofGrey
by Member on Jun. 26, 2010 at 10:57 PM

 Be honest. In the nicest way possible. Connor is probably more comfortable with the sitter he is used to anyway.

ff-princess
by on Jun. 26, 2010 at 11:00 PM

play it from the angle that Connor is going to be going through enough changes with a new baby in the house that you want to keep the rest of his life as close to possibe as it is now.  too much change all at once is not good for little ones.

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