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What am I supposed to say? **Update in Pink**

Posted by on Jun. 27, 2010 at 9:57 AM
  • 11 Replies

I started talking to a friend about how my PPD is already starting and Im only 38 1/2 weeks along. My friend said I could talk to her about anything and everything b/c she's gone through it too and that the second time is usually the hardest.

So I confessed my paranoia. It started after I lost my second pregnancy and has gradually gotten worse. (That part I didn't mention to her) I am deathly afraid of losing my son. We just moved into a trailer park and I feel like every person around me is in some way a danger. I don't like it when DS walks around the other side of our small shed b/c I can't see him. Im afraid someone is going to snatch him. There's a road that runs along side the trailer park and it's lined with trees...it wouldn't be hard to do something like that. Yes, I do get up and make sure he's okay. I can only move so fast with this humongous belly of mine.

I dont even feel like I can let him outside at my in-laws house. Yesterday I started getting a panicky feeling when he went outside with dh's 13 year old adopted brother and the 13 year old foster kid. I know the 13 year adopted kid, we'll dub T, wouldn't actually harm DS but I couldn't help but worry that something bad would happen. I kept thinking what if he's being chocked? What if he fell down and broke his neck? I hate feeling this way b/c I know better but yet I keep feeling this way. DH knows I worry but I've never told him the full extent of it all. B/c I know my fears are irrational.

I have tried to tell the doctor that I was wanting to get on meds to help with PPD after the baby comes. But when he came in, it was never brought up. I go in for my one week check up Tuesday. Im just not sure how to approach this whole paranoia issue. I could hardly get through this post without crying.

Please no smart @ss answers. I know quite well that my fear is irrational and that I should just say hey, Im having a really hard time. It's just that sometimes it's easier said than done.

 

***UPDATE****
Just got back from seeing the doctor/errands. I FINALLY talked to the doctor a/b my PPD symptoms and irrational fears. He was glad I said something (even though I said something before but I'll let that go now.) and he was also glad that I recognized my symptoms for what they were. Also mentioned something about how it was good that I realized my fears were irrational. However he won't start me on any medicine until I have the baby. Giving the fact that it's about a week til she's due Im fairly certain I will survive til then. :) If it gets worse, he said, then he wants to see me back immediately. Otherwise I have another one week check up scheduled for this coming Monday. Let's all hope I go into labor before then though!!

pregnancy due date

baby
by on Jun. 27, 2010 at 9:57 AM
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Replies (1-10):
ff-princess
by on Jun. 27, 2010 at 9:59 AM

if your doctor doesn't bring it up, bring it up yourself.  you are ultimately the one that's responsible for your health.  stand up for yourself.  the sooner you do, the sooner you'll start to feel better.  and yes, the paranoia is a symptom of PPD.

Dark_Rain
by on Jun. 27, 2010 at 10:01 AM

If anyone gives you a hard time on this tell them right where to go and how to get there! Hell, I'll draw them a map! You really need to make your doctor listen to you. PPD sucks balls and it really shouldnt go untreated.

allurasmamma
by on Jun. 27, 2010 at 10:04 AM

 You need to talk to your Dr. about this. He is not going to ask you .

Your fears are normal. We all have them. But the constant worry is not. Please bring it up to your Doc.

lucky2Beeme
by Platinum Member on Jun. 27, 2010 at 10:05 AM

Can hubby go with you? Maybe he can bring it up and explain how worried you feel bringing it up. Hugs momma.

jltplk25
by on Jun. 27, 2010 at 10:50 AM

I wish he could go with me. I've asked before for some reason and he said he has to have like a month's notice b/c of work. IDK though...I may talk to him about it tonight and see if he can go.

I know I need to bring it up to the doctor and I intend on doing it. Im just not sure how to. Im the type of person who has to think out what Im going to say before I say it. I don't expect the doctor to go, "oh you look like you're paranoid. Here, take some medicine." :)

Quoting lucky2Beeme:

Can hubby go with you? Maybe he can bring it up and explain how worried you feel bringing it up. Hugs momma.


pregnancy due date

baby
HereWeGoAgain9
by on Jun. 27, 2010 at 11:08 AM
Awww, I'm sorry!!
I went through a rough time when my twins were born. I won't bore you with ALL of my details, but I'd had losses, then twins and they were 5 weeks early w complications. I had my own set of complications too. Anyhow, exactly 2 yrs later I was due to have my daughter (now 2) and 2 months before her due date, my husband left. Another part of the long story but I knew I was at high risk for ppd. 5 days before she was born I started Prozac. For me, my depression & anxiety are the worst around 3 weeks post partum so I wanted to have meds already on board. I sailed through my postpartum period!! I felt awesome - a little tired after my 4th child but hey, that's to be expected. Otherwise, I had normal ups and downs but nothing extreme. No tears, no anxiety, nothing but sleepy happiness :)
I should mention I was offered meds while preg but was a bit unsure I really needed them then and was fearful about risks. Starting them just days before her birth was the ticket for me.
Make a list. I know it can be hard to remember things you want to say at quick appts. Bring this up and get someone to pay attention! You don't have to feel this way :(
hang in there & good luck!
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Bellarose0212
by on Jun. 27, 2010 at 11:14 AM

Hand your doctor a note if you need to. Just say in the note that you feel trepidation about bringing it up and you wanted to lay it out the completely the way you wanted to be heard in the note. You can drop it off on the day of your appt. or another day.

Logan_Bellasmom
by Falling Starr on Jun. 27, 2010 at 11:15 AM

Im not sure its actually Ppd and not ptsd from the lose of the other pregnancy. I know after i had arwen and she died (full term still birth) i have the same issuse but I didnt have ppd and i was very afraid of something wrong wrong when i got pregant with bella thats kinda natrual a little.

Elayna90
by on Jun. 27, 2010 at 11:21 AM
The only advice is if your dr doesn't bring it up, push the issue. You have to take care of yourself.

I went through a similar paranoia when my ds was a baby. I was afriad to even leave him with my mom because something could happen. He was born three months early and when I had to leave him in NICU, it traumatized me.
When I got preg with my second, that was my biggest fear and after he was born, I wouldn't let either of them out of my sight even to go to the bathroom.
I know now just how unreasonable I was being but when paranoia hits, it hits hard. I still feel it sometimes, but now I recognize it for what it is.
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jltplk25
by on Jun. 27, 2010 at 5:27 PM

Hmm. I never thought about PTSD. I cried of course after I found out the baby had died but then I just pushed my feelings to the side. I had a then- two year old to take care of and a house to run. There was no point in dwelling on something like that I couldn't control. Maybe I should apply that thought to what Im going through now until I can figure out another solution.

Quoting Logan_Bellasmom:

Im not sure its actually Ppd and not ptsd from the lose of the other pregnancy. I know after i had arwen and she died (full term still birth) i have the same issuse but I didnt have ppd and i was very afraid of something wrong wrong when i got pregant with bella thats kinda natrual a little.


pregnancy due date

baby
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