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When do you know it's time to write some off?

Posted by on Jun. 27, 2010 at 12:41 PM
  • 11 Replies
For almost 23 years now I have dealt with on and off mental abuse from my mom she's one of those people that even if you don't like it that it's in your best interest to say nothing at all or consider yourself the devil and in hell.

Went on a vacation and actually headed back now or getting ready to after bitch gets her shit together I'm thankful I stayed in a different hotel except we road together. Basically my mom and dad can't get along merely because my mom is that big of a bitch and everything is my dads fault she don't care about him but can't afford to be alone which I find humerous and hope one day that karma has it's way.

Anyway we were here on vacation which they go because they get it for free I didn't I stayed in my own hotel paid for all my food and things just road with them. When we got here and they saw there hotel my mom complained soo loudly I was embaressed people of the company that paid for it could hear here the people that sign the check that pays her mortage smart right?

Anyway after bitching at my dad and me telling her it wasn't him fault she shunned me to my dad kisses her ass to get on her good side I choose not to, the next day she picked me up for the beach and I said things better now everybody happy and she yells at me it's none of your fucking business WTF I was freaking being nice making sure everything was ok so I just went off told her to grow up she was in the wrong and she proceeded to tell me that I came on this trip to use them for money? I'm really confused brought my own and paid for everything and bought them dinner and lunch for driving me.

She then took me and my daughter back to our hotel and told us to have fun sitting there all day my daughters two she really deserves that because your a child yourself.

This isn't something that happens sometimes it happens all the time!! Finally in the afternoon after my dad got done with meetings dropped me off the car you can do so much after 5 with a two year old. Anyway I'm over her I wish I could treat everyone this way I can't it's not okay. Anyway when is it time to just write someone out of your life my mom treats me like shit to make herself feel better and I don't want her to attempt to treat my daughter that way. What do I do?

I'm sorry if this is long I am writing it from cell
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by on Jun. 27, 2010 at 12:41 PM
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Replies (1-10):
sati769leigh
by on Jun. 27, 2010 at 12:43 PM

is she bi-polar?

proudmomma1986
by on Jun. 27, 2010 at 12:48 PM

I've already cut my mom out and I'm 23

Justine1123
by Justine on Jun. 27, 2010 at 12:52 PM
I would have said yes but she holds the grudges for weeks with bipolar doesn't it come and go? And normal people you can tell them something my mom you can't. Also did I mention she has ZERO friends and from what I can tell no one at her work likes her

Quoting sati769leigh:

is she bi-polar?

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Justine1123
by Justine on Jun. 27, 2010 at 12:56 PM
Oh and right now my dads still talking to me but I think he's afraid to talk to much bc that would prolly set her off
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sati769leigh
by on Jun. 27, 2010 at 12:57 PM

 there are  MANY different levels and typs of bi-polar. i can hold grudges for YEARS personally. LOL mood swings can last hours, days, months, years. every bi-polar is very different from another.

Quoting Justine1123:

I would have said yes but she holds the grudges for weeks with bipolar doesn't it come and go? And normal people you can tell them something my mom you can't. Also did I mention she has ZERO friends and from what I can tell no one at her work likes her

Quoting sati769leigh:

is she bi-polar?

 

sati769leigh
by on Jun. 27, 2010 at 12:58 PM

 

Quoting Justine1123:

Oh and right now my dads still talking to me but I think he's afraid to talk to much bc that would prolly set her off

 well he is married to her. and its a committment he obviously takes very very serioulsy.

Justine1123
by Justine on Jun. 27, 2010 at 1:04 PM
Well it's pretty pathetic when you aren't allowed to talk to your own child don't you think?

Quoting sati769leigh:

 


Quoting Justine1123:

Oh and right now my dads still talking to me but I think he's afraid to talk to much bc that would prolly set her off

 well he is married to her. and its a committment he obviously takes very very serioulsy.

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Ms.Upinyourface
by on Jun. 27, 2010 at 1:05 PM

The book Toxic Parents describes the situations and means to heal or abandon relationships that are toxic in behavior.

The Dance of Anger is a book that offers solutions for the hot and heated fighting systems.

The only thing you can change is YOURSELF. Now you are raising a daughter of your own and it is important to distinguish between behavior and a person. The behavior is hurtful, embarrassing, mired in stimulations derived from the excitements of emotional abuse....the person doing that behavior is the first victim of it. They hear it in their head the loudest AND FIRST and then they use their words to spread in outward onto others.

You can estrange yourself from your parents. What is more wholesome is to first deal with this hand of cards , self identify and change and offer a doorway to change for you parents.

When you learn how to establish your boundaries for yourself, with your daughter and in your relationship with your parents its a powerful place to be. And people learn from example. You may help your mother and father find a new way of interacting.

No one can give you what you want until you know what it is you want first. Each of us has to share what our needs are so others can meet those expectations.

Emotional Blackmail is another book title that might offer insights.

Justine1123
by Justine on Jun. 27, 2010 at 1:31 PM
Well after sitting here and getting more mad about it all I think I'm just going to load mystuff in the car when we get back which is about 7 hours away shew and basically stop speaking to her if she wants to see my daughter she can call but that won't happen I always have to beg her to watch her
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nebraskamomto2
by Silver Member on Jun. 27, 2010 at 1:42 PM

 I think it can definitely be better to distance yourself from people who are causing so much frustration, even if it is your own parents.  My adoptive parents have been doing crap to me my entire life, and although I haven't completely cut them off, I do keep my distance.  My kids are not allowed to be around them alone, and they are really only involved in certain aspects of my life.  Not the way I like it, but the only way things can be.  It sounds as though your mom is manipulative and verbally abusive, so are you sure you want her to be around your dd?  My parents play major mind games, which is partly why they aren't allowed to be around them alone.  But, I think you need to do what is best for you and your dd.

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