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to be friends or not to be friends is the question

Posted by on Jun. 27, 2010 at 8:24 PM
  • 9 Replies

curious on your thoughts...

can you be friends with someone you dont trust , just cause they have an amazing personality and fun to hang with?????

some people think they can be friends with people, and just accept their shortcomings? i'm not sure if that is a learned skill.

maybe i expect too much? i dont claim to be perfect, but  is honesty, loyalty too much to ask? and if you do something for others isn't it nice for people to do the same????? dont people know the golden rule????

just saying!!!

by on Jun. 27, 2010 at 8:24 PM
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Replies (1-9):
jenn75
by on Jun. 27, 2010 at 8:25 PM

 I can be friendly but not friends with someone I don't trust.

Jennifer 

                               

     

tristin23
by on Jun. 27, 2010 at 8:26 PM

I couldn't do it, if you can't trust them, they aren't good for you.

blsdbyangel07
by Evil Food Lady on Jun. 27, 2010 at 8:26 PM

Depends on the situation for me.  Due to past experiences people have to earn trust with me.  I've been burned so much in the past that it takes a lot of time for me to trust someone.  But if I've been told things about someone *trust related things* then I would not be friends with them to avoid being hurt.

Ali84Shorty
by on Jun. 27, 2010 at 8:27 PM

I use to have alot of friends when i was younger and i was one that would help or share whatever whenever. Then people started taking advantge of me so lesson learned i guess. So no i dont think its to much to ask if i cant trust you then we no we aren't friends

JulyBabies
by Platinum Member on Jun. 27, 2010 at 8:27 PM

I have alot of friends and all offer different things. Some are friends that I can trust with anything, some I can count on to come through in an emergency and some are just fun to go out with for a few drinks.

Bella_Soleil
by on Jun. 27, 2010 at 8:29 PM


Quoting JulyBabies:

I have alot of friends and all offer different things. Some are friends that I can trust with anything, some I can count on to come through in an emergency and some are just fun to go out with for a few drinks.

i would like to know how to better differentiate like that. to have friends for different reasons. i guess i wear my heart too much on my sleeve.

would like to let things roll of my back, not sure how to do this.

DejaVooDoo
by on Jun. 27, 2010 at 8:32 PM

I don't have a problem with shortcomings, but that depends on what they are. For some people there are certain dealbreakers which drive them to not stay friends with. I've been through it myself, and I have "thought" I could stay friends with someone I couldn't trust, but ended up blowing up in their faces after saying I could.

Friendships are equal grounds. If something fails then I also accept my shortcomings to not stay friends with them.


Bella_Soleil
by on Jun. 27, 2010 at 8:40 PM

this friendship thing is highly confusing.

it seems so simple, but people are just too complicated ...i dont get it.

can someone help!!!!!!

what do you want (and do you ever expect) anything from a friend.

DejaVooDoo
by on Jun. 27, 2010 at 8:47 PM

Everyone has different expectations from friends, because the values we want from our friendships are different between people. It is "usually" a mutually shared relationship, but if you do not share and let this person you are talking about your true feelings, then both parties can be held equally accountable for those same actions.

If you do not trust this person or people, yet stay friends with them and hold onto grudges or trust issues; then you yourself cannot class yourself a friend to that person - Because you are always going to have doubts about it to begin with.

You said it first. Everyone has some form of high expectation or another. I can't say I am innocent, and that I do not expect loyalty from my friends. But at the same time, they are still human. You can give to someone unconditionally, but if you yourself feel you are going to be hurt from the actions of this other person and you cannot cope with it - Then you have a choice. Tell them how you feel in order to help it change, or pull yourself away before you end up hurting them. In that way you can stay a true friend, without imposing yourself on others.

Quoting Bella_Soleil:

this friendship thing is highly confusing.

it seems so simple, but people are just too complicated ...i dont get it.

can someone help!!!!!!

what do you want (and do you ever expect) anything from a friend.


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