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i jus need to vent...this is very VERY long

Posted by on Jun. 27, 2010 at 10:53 PM
  • 17 Replies

 yall dont have to reply...i jus have to get my feelings out and i have no one here with me that can even come close to understanding me...so if u read this and fell like commenting...you can but i jus need to write my feelings down....

here goes :(

soooo I'm going through a tough tough divorce where my ex is making me sound like the worst shit bag mother ever to everyone he talks to... but im not a bad mother...hes the one they should worry about and no thats not jus a revenge statement its true...but anyways hes jus a horrible person and has made the last 6 months of my life hell...now granted i dont care about him i havent in years....but we have three kids together and so we have to talk but its never civil any ways...its very very stressful on me and i feel so drained from it and ontop of that i have gotten into trouble with traffic laws one after the other after the other...so i have tons of fines...and ive always been a stay at home mama...LOVE it always have and i would like to get a job one day and im actually trying to find one now...but anywyas i have no income except for 626 for child support...once a month...well recently my two oldest boy and i were victims in a crime and had to testify in court...it was a guy that beat my kids and beat me...so yeaaaah...well anyways we all (my 3 boys and i) had to travel to texas for this trial we had to testify in...but i didnt care because my fiance lives in texas and thats where my ex husband and i lived while we were together and he was stationed there....so i met robby and fell in love :) we are a happy couple...engaged after 4 months and he loves my boys and they love him...so anyways i had NOOOO idea that there was ANY money involved in going to this trial butttt i jus recievd 3 checks in my childrens names for 280 each!!!! WOW!!! didnt see that coming...now i have fines out the ass and so i HAVE to pay them...so almost ALL that 840 dollars will be gone...almost...well my fiance robby called me last week and asked if i had paid the water bill while i was there last month and i said yes i had done it the day i arrived in texas...he said it was 63 dollars this month and he was broke...and so was our roomate so they both said they were broke...which robby has never lied to me...so i believed him...he knew about the trial money and asked if i could send him money just to tie him over till he gets paid...well these checks were in my kids names(all minors) so i had to open a savings account for each of the checks to go in and i would be the main person to handle the money...theres a 5 day hold on the money...so ill be allowed to touch it tomorrow and pull money out of there accounts... so i told him id send him money( hes sent me LOTS of money in the past cuz my ex husband wasnt paying child support and i had no job so robby was sending me money so i could get my kids what they needed) so obviously i had NO prob sending him money...i said i would monday and he gets paid wednesday! so i thought ooookay ill send him like 100 bucks to last him...whats he gunna need? gas? thats like 40 dollars in a huge gas hog durango...NO i was wrong he wants a whole fucking 225 dollars!!!!!! I WAS LIKE WTF for what?!!!!? 225!!! NO way! i have to have at least 550 for my fines! and thats not even to get my DLs back...thats another 500 dollars jus to be able to drive again! soooo i told him i would do what i could...but i think hes forgotten about my fines so idk...i think i may lie to him and tell him that because they are savings accounts i can only pull out 100 dollars and bcuz they r my kids not mine...IDK ughhh but thats not even the worst part! he calls me this morning and says how bad his night was...he got home and his key would open the door...so he went to our side door and it was open...and he walked in and they got robbed! someone broke in! stold a tv laptop boxing gloves and robbys phone charger! and then he got pulled over in my car for a safety inspection sticker being expired...so he blamed that on me...said i should have gotten that taken care of but i HAD NO IDEA i was even due for one! so eff him! im mad at this point...but what im still having a problem understanding is that the last 3 nights hes gone out to a strip club! to play pool with our roomate and our roomate happens to be robbys best friend...i trust robby i really do...ive been to the strip clubs with them and i know everyone...they are really there so our roomate brooker can find a girl  lol  hes silly...n robby plays his wingman...and idc really i dont..i trust him! but then today he calls me and says i need some time to think so i dont want you to come back to texas on the 13th july...i was suppose to go back to texas and spend time before he deploys with robby in july and then we are going to hawaii on july 27th to visit his parents i have yet to meet...but he tells me that since im in ohio and my kids are too(the kids have been with their real father for 2 weeks straight and his fiance chelsea he took 30 days of leave so i was nice and let him have the boys) that i should stay here in ohio with them and i want to but ive already bought the plane ticket for the 13th july :( we are still engaged though ?????? wth? im so confused! he said he wants a break bcuz of all the stress hes under and hes got alot to think about and he needs time away from me...idk...i know this was confusing to those of you who read it...i understand if u skip right over it lol...i dont think id know what to say to this....

by on Jun. 27, 2010 at 10:53 PM
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Replies (1-10):
Monica208
by on Jun. 27, 2010 at 11:01 PM

honestly, i think its a shame that you are using your kids money to send to some guy... that in my eyes is totally wrong.. its YOUR KIDS money not yours... you should open a savings acocount for them and leave it there... next... that guy robby doesnt sound like a decent guy... he goes to strip clubs and claims to be broke... i would say hes not broke... hes just using you for the cash... i say get rid of him... get a job and take care of those boys... they should come first before any other guy...  im sorry bout doesnt sound like you have your priorities straight...

FL2AK
by on Jun. 27, 2010 at 11:02 PM

Here is my honest opinion.  You need to quit focusing on the men in your life and focus on your kids.  You have a husband still since you are not divorced, another man who beat you and your kids (was this a romantic partner too) and a fiance who does not sound that wonderful.  Why are you buying plane tickets to Hawaii when you need to be making a life for your kids?

Sorry, but your priorities are out of whack. 

FL2AK
by on Jun. 27, 2010 at 11:03 PM

Glad I am not the only way who felt that way after reading this. 

Quoting Monica208:

honestly, i think its a shame that you are using your kids money to send to some guy... that in my eyes is totally wrong.. its YOUR KIDS money not yours... you should open a savings acocount for them and leave it there... next... that guy robby doesnt sound like a decent guy... he goes to strip clubs and claims to be broke... i would say hes not broke... hes just using you for the cash... i say get rid of him... get a job and take care of those boys... they should come first before any other guy...  im sorry bout doesnt sound like you have your priorities straight...


exquizitemami
by on Jun. 27, 2010 at 11:06 PM

For the situation with you and Robby, to  me, the hole "we need a break" bit is a cop out. He wants to have his cake and eat it too. He wants to go out, have fun, screw around and then come back and say "OK, I have thought about it and I want to be with you". F*** that. I hate when men (boys) pull that crap.

As for the sticky divorce situation, all I can say is good luck. I've had to deal with tons of sticky situations with my fiances ex wife (mother to two of his kids) so I have been through the in's and out's of the court system. It truly does suck. There isn't any way for you two to talk it out and be civil for the kids' sake? Everything would be so much easier when it is civil.

I think what you should do is focus on your kiddos and get a job (keep on searching for one) so you can support yourself and your kids. I think that should be your #1 priority.

RandiJune
by on Jun. 27, 2010 at 11:10 PM

 thanks for your honesty...and i totally agree...but i feel kinda stuck... like i dont know what to do...i didnt pay for the tickets to hawaii...he did...and thats why hes broke...his paychecks are 1400 ever 2 weeks...well a lil over 1400...the tickets for 2 ppl cost 1450...so i knew he was low on cash...and the money is mostly used for my children...every penny usually goes to them...its just this one time... and idk what to do i feel like i kinda should pay him back for all the times hes sent me money...i need to get my law stuff taken care of and thats my main "money" priority...my kids have all that they need... im jus kinda confused on what i should do...i kinda want to go down to texas get all my and my kids stuff outta our house and move and just break it off with him...but i dont know how to do that without putting someone out...someone would have to drive me down there and drive me back to ohio with a u haul filled with all my stuff...idk...

Ashley728
by on Jun. 27, 2010 at 11:13 PM

 I agree with PP. I think you have your priorities a little...backwards right now. You're still going through a divorce, right? So...you're not LEGALLY divoreced yet. And you're engaged to someone else, already? I don't know, hun. I think you REALLY need to think about this. First and foremost, you need to get your divorce taken care of. Put you and your children first. Worry about men (boys) later! There's plenty of time for all that.

mysonismyjoy
by on Jun. 27, 2010 at 11:13 PM

my exact thoughts.

Quoting FL2AK:

Here is my honest opinion.  You need to quit focusing on the men in your life and focus on your kids.  You have a husband still since you are not divorced, another man who beat you and your kids (was this a romantic partner too) and a fiance who does not sound that wonderful.  Why are you buying plane tickets to Hawaii when you need to be making a life for your kids?

Sorry, but your priorities are out of whack. 


<3 Beckah

Mom to 2 gorgeous little boys...T (11/05), L (7/08) and a Feb 2011 Baby on the way! THINKING PINK :)

Due in February? Join us in February 2011 Babies!

mysonismyjoy
by on Jun. 27, 2010 at 11:14 PM

the lawsuit... was the person who beat you someone you knew? were you in a relationship with them?

Monica208
by on Jun. 27, 2010 at 11:14 PM

no one is ever "stuck" you have the ability and power to change anything in your life that you are not happy with... sounds like excuses to me... if ur not happy then change your life... focus on you and those boys

Quoting RandiJune:

 thanks for your honesty...and i totally agree...but i feel kinda stuck... like i dont know what to do...i didnt pay for the tickets to hawaii...he did...and thats why hes broke...his paychecks are 1400 ever 2 weeks...well a lil over 1400...the tickets for 2 ppl cost 1450...so i knew he was low on cash...and the money is mostly used for my children...every penny usually goes to them...its just this one time... and idk what to do i feel like i kinda should pay him back for all the times hes sent me money...i need to get my law stuff taken care of and thats my main "money" priority...my kids have all that they need... im jus kinda confused on what i should do...i kinda want to go down to texas get all my and my kids stuff outta our house and move and just break it off with him...but i dont know how to do that without putting someone out...someone would have to drive me down there and drive me back to ohio with a u haul filled with all my stuff...idk...


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RandiJune
by on Jun. 27, 2010 at 11:19 PM

 im not trying to mkae excuses...its so hard to put EVERYTHING in a post on here....my mother is a very well rounded person and shes an amzing woman...and shes always told me her honest opinion...shes known of everything! and shes been jus as honest if not more then you ladies are being...and shes made me feel like im doing nothing wrong...but i still feel like i am i jus cant figure it out...my kids always come first...ALWAYS!!!! and like i said ts hard to write everything every detail in posts on here without it being a novel...im leaving out alot yes but still i know my kids are taken care of to the fullest...

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