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Sorry if this has been posted before, but do you feel it is ok...

Posted by on Jul. 12, 2010 at 4:41 AM
  • 93 Replies

for you and your DH (or SO) to argue/fight infront of your kids?  Not physically fight.  My friend is for it, saying it is healthy for kids to see their parents fight and that at the end of the day they still love each other.  I think it that it is better to do it in private, cause I know seeing my parents fight scared me.  But, I can see my friends point of view.  What do you think?

by on Jul. 12, 2010 at 4:41 AM
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Replies (1-10):
lilywitch
by on Jul. 12, 2010 at 4:43 AM
If my husband and I have a little bickering, I dont mind the kids seeing. If its a fight, we do it in private.
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bananahammock1
by on Jul. 12, 2010 at 4:46 AM

 We DO NOT fight in front of our kids!! Ever! If we disagree on something we talk in the other room. Thats one thing that we are very firm about.

nemiller
by on Jul. 12, 2010 at 4:46 AM

i think it's okay for my son to see us disagree, but i don't think seeing us in a knock-down-drag-out screaming match is okay.  and we never argue about our son in front of our son.  we want him to see us as a team with a united front where our parenting is concerned.

KatieCat2003
by on Jul. 12, 2010 at 4:47 AM
Ditto on Lilywitch, 'sept it will be boyfriend, and the kiddo isn't born yet.

Now if an argument gets really loud with raided voices and the kids can hear it from the other room, once things are figured out I think one or both adults should go explain the basic gist of what's going on. Editing for child appropriate content of course.


Quoting lilywitch:

If my husband and I have a little bickering, I dont mind the kids seeing. If its a fight, we do it in private.

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mandafox
by on Jul. 12, 2010 at 4:50 AM

 I agree with lilywitch, and I see your friends point of view as well. It could teach your children that things can be worked through and that bickering is normal. But I agree with you in the sense that watching my parents argue scared me as well (but with my biological father it almost always turned into more than just words...so that is probably where that fear stemmed from). I think as long as it doesn't escalate in front of the kids it's not a terrible thing. Man, it is 10 to 5 and I am raaaaaaambling. Haha.

laranadtony
by Emerald Member on Jul. 12, 2010 at 5:26 AM

Arguing they do see.They also see the making up and the "I was wrong"s and "i sorry"s.

nurbabe82
by on Jul. 12, 2010 at 5:35 AM

 The really heated agruements are kept away from ds but the little ones he does see sometimes.

katzero
by on Jul. 12, 2010 at 5:47 AM

 

Quoting bananahammock1:

 We DO NOT fight in front of our kids!! Ever! If we disagree on something we talk in the other room. Thats one thing that we are very firm about.

 This. My parents tried very hard not to fight in front of us, and DH and I will try hard not to fight in front of our kids.


Jenniejen77
by on Jul. 12, 2010 at 6:37 AM


Quoting lilywitch:

If my husband and I have a little bickering, I dont mind the kids seeing. If its a fight, we do it in private.


 

epoh
by on Jul. 12, 2010 at 6:41 AM
I try very hard not to argue in front of my children. I am trying to impress upon their father that it is not healthy for them to hear him call me names.

After DS was born, the kids' dad was being out of line. After our phone conversation, I sat down and started crying, saying, "I can't handle this. I can't do this." DD gave me a hug and said, "I do this. I got this, mommy." She's only 2 1/2 and it made me proud to see her compassion, but broke my heart that she had to see me break down like that.
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