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sticky $ situation

Posted by on Jul. 12, 2010 at 8:13 PM
  • 12 Replies

 

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Question: am i overreacting (being upset and angry)???

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Need some advice on how to talk to my mil.

we're going to stay at her beach condo for the next two weeks.

and her other SON will be visiting.

The situation is the last time all the family was together she expected me and my dh and her to split the cost of  all the food for dinner. because we "APPEAR" to have more.but unfortunately, we dont have the money , things aren't always what they appear.

and she didn't expect the other 2 siblings to pay for anything cause they were visiting i guess???? no idea. SHE even gave 2 of the 5 grandchildren money while they were visiting!!!!!!

so now, we're having another family reunion. and i dont want it to be like last time. so what do i say to my mil she seems to think we're splitting again, and the other brother is paying for nothing????? WTF. i already have anxiety. wish my husband would bring up the subject, but he doesn't seem to care!

we on the other hand will have to get our own breakfast and lunch, which is fine. its nice they let us use their place, but for dinner, i think his parents should pay for all or tell us all to chip in so its fair....RIGHT??????



by on Jul. 12, 2010 at 8:13 PM
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Replies (1-10):
caiti
by on Jul. 12, 2010 at 8:23 PM

I totally don't think you're overreacting, but I don't think it's your place to confront your MIL about it, it's your DH's. You need to have a serious conversation that he needs to stick up for you guys. Especially not to let his siblings mooch off of you.

elle7777
by Gold Member on Jul. 12, 2010 at 8:23 PM

How much is half?

Eh, I think your both wrong:) If the other siblings are only stopping by for a few nights its not the same as your family which will be there for two full weeks, so I wouldn't ask them to pay (but it would be polite to offer to chip in). I don't think it would be right for MIL to have to shoulder all costs for the dinners especially because you guys get to stay at her beach condo fee free.  If you are hurting for money say "Money is kind of tight right now... We can't afford to pay half of the food costs like last year but we can contribute X amount towards the food bill."

Bella_Soleil
by on Jul. 12, 2010 at 8:34 PM


Quoting elle7777:

How much is half?

Eh, I think your both wrong:) If the other siblings are only stopping by for a few nights its not the same as your family which will be there for two full weeks, so I wouldn't ask them to pay (but it would be polite to offer to chip in). I don't think it would be right for MIL to have to shoulder all costs for the dinners especially because you guys get to stay at her beach condo fee free.  If you are hurting for money say "Money is kind of tight right now... We can't afford to pay half of the food costs like last year but we can contribute X amount towards the food bill."

the brother will be there the same time as us. he will be eating at his mothers house and getting lunch there, and then for dinner everyone will be eating with us at the condo? so i'm thinking why am i paying for half the food, when there are 3 families there.

 

christina0607
by on Jul. 12, 2010 at 8:40 PM

I think it's up to your husband to decide what he thinks is fair. Maybe come up with a dollar amount that you can give her for the time.

Of course the other option is to not go and take your own family vacation on your own dime.

weeblette
by on Jul. 12, 2010 at 8:40 PM
Suggest you split it evenly between all adults. Say there are 7 adults total then you only pay for 2 portions. No charge for kids.
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christina0607
by on Jul. 12, 2010 at 8:41 PM

Can you break down the people who will be there?

Bella_Soleil
by on Jul. 12, 2010 at 8:49 PM

his mother and father

me my husband  and our 3 kids

his brother wife and 2 kids

elle7777
by Gold Member on Jul. 12, 2010 at 8:50 PM

Edit since reading who is there. Thats not fair. Offer to split it 3 ways or just tell her you can only afford  amount off the bat. Have fun!

Quoting Bella_Soleil:


Quoting elle7777:

How much is half?

Eh, I think your both wrong:) If the other siblings are only stopping by for a few nights its not the same as your family which will be there for two full weeks, so I wouldn't ask them to pay (but it would be polite to offer to chip in). I don't think it would be right for MIL to have to shoulder all costs for the dinners especially because you guys get to stay at her beach condo fee free.  If you are hurting for money say "Money is kind of tight right now... We can't afford to pay half of the food costs like last year but we can contribute X amount towards the food bill."

the brother will be there the same time as us. he will be eating at his mothers house and getting lunch there, and then for dinner everyone will be eating with us at the condo? so i'm thinking why am i paying for half the food, when there are 3 families there.


christina0607
by on Jul. 12, 2010 at 8:51 PM

And you will all be there for the entire 2 weeks right?

How do you give her money? As in is it a lump sum, or everytime you cook something does she as for your half? Do you both go grocery shopping together?

Quoting Bella_Soleil:

his mother and father

me my husband  and our 3 kids

his brother wife and 2 kids


Bella_Soleil
by on Jul. 12, 2010 at 9:49 PM

when its his parents and us, we both buy food, but its SOOOO not organized.

i'm trying to convince hubby to talk to his mom so we can better organize.

i dont mind paying if its split 3 ways.


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