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why is it people always show up when someone is sick kind of long..sorry.

Posted by on Jul. 12, 2010 at 9:31 PM
  • 4 Replies

my grandmother has been in and out of the hospital 4 times in the last few weeks, she was dismissed on thursday and put back in there yesterday. She has emphzyma and a heart condition where her heart doesn't shut in time and blood flows backward. Anyway my idiot cousin came to stay with her abotu a month ago when her 2 year old son got sick, and she picked up what he had and has never been able to shake it.

Well, today the lung doctor said whatever she had triggered her emphyzema and it is now worse than it was before. he used the term "significant emphyzema" when talking about her xray. Now, my grandmother never smoked, but her husband did, and some of her kids do, and she never made anyone step outside to smoke in her home.

Well there are only a few people in our family who pay her any mind. My mom, aunt me, my brother and one other cousin. My grandma doesn't drive so its always one of us taking her whereever she needs to go. My mom takes her every saturday to the store, and my other aunt recently got her a new stove and had her roof reshingled. She trusts us and can rely on us..i have bought her in bags of groceries once, and taken her to get a shingles shot, taken her to multiple appts..i do it because i love her and i feel its my responsiblity to help her in some way, just as my aunt and mom feel its their turn to take care of her as she took care of them. the other idiots in my family dont' seem to give a damn. She has 8 kids and my mom and aunt are the only two she sees regularly; the others all live within 10 minutes of her only show up at christmas.  She has 30 grandchildren and me and my brother are really the only two who call and visit often. She has one who only comes when she needs, wants something.

ok anyway fast forward..she was admitted to the hospital yesterday, told about her lung issue today and dismissed today, but my aunt, who is a RN got her in with a SNF for a few weeks because my grandma is scared to go home and doesn't really understand all the new equipement she has. My aunt also got her set up with a home nurse 3 times a week for when she goes home, since my grandma sometimes can't breathe this way she'll feel a little better knowing someone is coming and can come instead of having to call me or my brother or mom or aunt.

Well, woudln't you know it, after my mom called her siblings to let them know where grandma was, they all are now taking a interest in her life. wanting to go up and see her, even though she requested no visitors. Then my one aunt bitched out my mom because she feels my grandma has favorites..my mom called her on it and said no..she just knows who she can go to when she needs someone.

Anyway what is it with family? why is it they only seem to give a crap when someone important to your whole family is ill? grandma is the matyr to our family..she is the one who links us all..she has cared for all us of at some point in our life, you would think everyone would be willing to stand up and help out a lady who does not drive, who tries to live on 400 a month, who has trouble getting to her appts..but no, they only seem to give a damn when she is in the hospital.

stupid idiotic bastards..

by on Jul. 12, 2010 at 9:31 PM
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Replies (1-4):
sarasloveable
by on Jul. 12, 2010 at 9:43 PM
I dont know why people are that way its not right and Im sorry that members of your family are that way
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LancesMom
by Ruby Member on Jul. 12, 2010 at 10:56 PM

hugs

mommy_10
by Silver Member on Jul. 12, 2010 at 11:34 PM

i know what you mean..my hubby's family is that way too...his parents have 10 kids and out of those 10 kids maybe 4 see them like everyday...it seems like when they are sick or end up in the hospital everyone else runs to see them...we actually were talking about that the other day...it is terrible...why go see them when they are sick, but can't go see them when they are healthy....

yo_ho
by on Jul. 12, 2010 at 11:38 PM

My DH's uncle was like that too. Put in face time when Grandpa was sick so he could stay in the will, but refused to come down the street to help Grandpa at home. My ILs who live 30 min away would stop by 2x a day to put Gpa's drops in because UIL and his wife couldn't walk down the road.

But all in all, I think people start to step up when they hear a loved one is in the hospital because they don't want to miss seeing them before they pass away. I missed seeing my one Gma before she passed, and her passing was so hard on me. But I had lots of time to spend with my other Gma before she passed, and I was sad but handled it much better when she left.

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