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I am truly sick of this PA debate BS

Posted by on Jul. 12, 2010 at 10:45 PM
  • 17 Replies

I am a divorced single mom of a severely autistic 4 yr old and a typical 2 yr old. I was married before I had my kids. I was a wife to a man in the military who was abusive demeaning etc. And yet according to many after my ex husband up and left us when I was 30 weeks pregnant I am leeching the PA system because I do not work. I go to school full time. My oldest has 3 therapies and dr appointments a day monday thru friday and no job will hire someone who needs that much time off. My nearest family member is VA and the rest are in Germany (I have dual citizenship). I recieve food stamps and that is it. I gave myself a timelimit as to how long I would recieve foodstamps and that is until my oldest is enrolled ina full time school so I can afford to put my youngest in daycare and not use PA to help with the bill. I did not foresee divorcing or needing to be on PA and to be honest I am embarassed but I will accept the help til I am on my feet.

And to all you judgemental I know better holier then thou women. You do not know me my children my situation or anything else. You want to bash single moms lump them all as lazy system abusing baby factories, junkies, whores etc. when most of the time that is not the case. Some of us were SAHM supporting husbands who cheated left or abused and to be tossed out with no true life skills and having to make your own way from there is rough. Some of us have help from family and some like me have no one anywhere near us. So ponder each situatuion first before you judge or tell us you know how to do things better regarding our lives then we do.

by on Jul. 12, 2010 at 10:45 PM
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Replies (1-10):
conweis
by Gold Member on Jul. 12, 2010 at 10:48 PM

clapping 

nomadbrat83
by Platinum Member on Jul. 12, 2010 at 10:52 PM

 

Quoting Zombiegirl82:

I am a divorced single mom of a severely autistic 4 yr old and a typical 2 yr old. I was married before I had my kids. I was a wife to a man in the military who was abusive demeaning etc. And yet according to many after my ex husband up and left us when I was 30 weeks pregnant I am leeching the PA system because I do not work. I go to school full time. My oldest has 3 therapies and dr appointments a day monday thru friday and no job will hire someone who needs that much time off. My nearest family member is VA and the rest are in Germany (I have dual citizenship). I recieve food stamps and that is it. I gave myself a timelimit as to how long I would recieve foodstamps and that is until my oldest is enrolled ina full time school so I can afford to put my youngest in daycare and not use PA to help with the bill. I did not foresee divorcing or needing to be on PA and to be honest I am embarassed but I will accept the help til I am on my feet.

And to all you judgemental I know better holier then thou women. You do not know me my children my situation or anything else. You want to bash single moms lump them all as lazy system abusing baby factories, junkies, whores etc. when most of the time that is not the case. Some of us were SAHM supporting husbands who cheated left or abused and to be tossed out with no true life skills and having to make your own way from there is rough. Some of us have help from family and some like me have no one anywhere near us. So ponder each situatuion first before you judge or tell us you know how to do things better regarding our lives then we do.

 That's why it's good to have life skills and an education before marrying/kids so you always have something to fall back on.  I'm not saying PA is or isn't warrented in your case but the statement in red is why some divorced or widowed moms end up on PA, because they didn't plan for what would happen if hubby wasn't there to support them.  Not trying to be mean, but planning is important.

 Devoted Navy wife to Joe, mommy to Isabel, & expecting #2!




laranadtony
by Emerald Member on Jul. 12, 2010 at 10:54 PM

Don't open them.

jridgill
by on Jul. 12, 2010 at 10:54 PM

 *sigh* another one post about PA.

I am glad you are getting the help you need.

gingerwife
by on Jul. 12, 2010 at 10:55 PM

Planning my ass. She planned to be with her husband for the rest of her life. Shit happens.

Quoting nomadbrat83:

 

Quoting Zombiegirl82:

I am a divorced single mom of a severely autistic 4 yr old and a typical 2 yr old. I was married before I had my kids. I was a wife to a man in the military who was abusive demeaning etc. And yet according to many after my ex husband up and left us when I was 30 weeks pregnant I am leeching the PA system because I do not work. I go to school full time. My oldest has 3 therapies and dr appointments a day monday thru friday and no job will hire someone who needs that much time off. My nearest family member is VA and the rest are in Germany (I have dual citizenship). I recieve food stamps and that is it. I gave myself a timelimit as to how long I would recieve foodstamps and that is until my oldest is enrolled ina full time school so I can afford to put my youngest in daycare and not use PA to help with the bill. I did not foresee divorcing or needing to be on PA and to be honest I am embarassed but I will accept the help til I am on my feet.

And to all you judgemental I know better holier then thou women. You do not know me my children my situation or anything else. You want to bash single moms lump them all as lazy system abusing baby factories, junkies, whores etc. when most of the time that is not the case. Some of us were SAHM supporting husbands who cheated left or abused and to be tossed out with no true life skills and having to make your own way from there is rough. Some of us have help from family and some like me have no one anywhere near us. So ponder each situatuion first before you judge or tell us you know how to do things better regarding our lives then we do.

 That's why it's good to have life skills and an education before marrying/kids so you always have something to fall back on.  I'm not saying PA is or isn't warrented in your case but the statement in red is why some divorced or widowed moms end up on PA, because they didn't plan for what would happen if hubby wasn't there to support them.  Not trying to be mean, but planning is important.


gulfcoastmom4
by on Jul. 12, 2010 at 10:59 PM

yet you make ANOTHER PA post.

tomatoqueen
by on Jul. 12, 2010 at 11:03 PM


Quoting nomadbrat83:

 

Quoting Zombiegirl82:

I am a divorced single mom of a severely autistic 4 yr old and a typical 2 yr old. I was married before I had my kids. I was a wife to a man in the military who was abusive demeaning etc. And yet according to many after my ex husband up and left us when I was 30 weeks pregnant I am leeching the PA system because I do not work. I go to school full time. My oldest has 3 therapies and dr appointments a day monday thru friday and no job will hire someone who needs that much time off. My nearest family member is VA and the rest are in Germany (I have dual citizenship). I recieve food stamps and that is it. I gave myself a timelimit as to how long I would recieve foodstamps and that is until my oldest is enrolled ina full time school so I can afford to put my youngest in daycare and not use PA to help with the bill. I did not foresee divorcing or needing to be on PA and to be honest I am embarassed but I will accept the help til I am on my feet.

And to all you judgemental I know better holier then thou women. You do not know me my children my situation or anything else. You want to bash single moms lump them all as lazy system abusing baby factories, junkies, whores etc. when most of the time that is not the case. Some of us were SAHM supporting husbands who cheated left or abused and to be tossed out with no true life skills and having to make your own way from there is rough. Some of us have help from family and some like me have no one anywhere near us. So ponder each situatuion first before you judge or tell us you know how to do things better regarding our lives then we do.

 That's why it's good to have life skills and an education before marrying/kids so you always have something to fall back on.  I'm not saying PA is or isn't warrented in your case but the statement in red is why some divorced or widowed moms end up on PA, because they didn't plan for what would happen if hubby wasn't there to support them.  Not trying to be mean, but planning is important.

NO, moms end up on PA because MEN, FATHERS don't honor their commitments.

tomatoqueen
by on Jul. 12, 2010 at 11:03 PM

My deat, you have no reason to hang your head. You are doing what is right for your family. You are not abusing the system and are using it for its intended purpose.

courtneycra
by on Jul. 12, 2010 at 11:04 PM
amen
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
erinsmom1964
by Ruby Member on Jul. 12, 2010 at 11:05 PM

 I am truly sick of every women on PA thinking that the world is against them and they have to start a post about why they are different and deserve the money.

Why in the world are you so defensive if you truly believe you have no other option?  

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