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How can he be so mean? My husband blew off our anniversary today...

Posted by on Oct. 14, 2007 at 11:03 PM
  • 37 Replies is our 12 year anniversary and my husband has been lost in space all day.  He's worked two nights in a row, and has to work tonight but still gets around  6-7 hours of sleep so that's not an excuse, plus I'm up every 2-3 hours with my 5 week old baby and still manage to be cheery. 

I went to the store yesterday and bought him some nice cheese, grapes, a bottle of wine, some salami, jelly bellies and some chocolates.  I got home and all he could say is "I don't like brie and I never really liked jelly bellies."  No thank you, nothin'....

Then today I came to him first thing in the morning and wished him happy anniversary, gave him a kiss and hug and told him I loved him.  So the day went on and I asked if he wanted to go have a picnic at the lake with the kids.  He just said, "it doesn't matter" so I packed our lunch and we headed out.  When we got there he just wandered off.  His whole attitude today can be summed up in one word...BLAH.

I started feeling really sad.  He hardly spoke to me all day and didn't get me anything.  Well, around 7pm tonight I just told him how I felt.  How I thought he was being distant and that I felt like he just wasn't paying any attention to me.  Ok, now he thinks I'm in "fight mode" but I just wanted him to know how I felt.  So then he walks away and says, "I got you a card".  I told him that maybe next time he should give it to me at the beginning of the day not at 7 o'clock at night! 

Ugh, what an awful anniversary.  I hate anniversaries and valentine's day and birthdays 'cause this has become a pattern.  I know I'm not perfect but I'm not mean like he is.

 So sad, been crying all day.  My eyes are swollen and I'm so tired.  Don't know what to do, just needing to vent. 

I get jealous when I hear of couples that are so happy and husbands who are romantic, it sucks so bad.

by on Oct. 14, 2007 at 11:03 PM
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Replies (1-10):
by on Oct. 14, 2007 at 11:05 PM
Im really sorry hun, My feeling would have been hurt too.
Hope you feel better.
by on Oct. 14, 2007 at 11:07 PM
Im really sorry that you had a horrible anniversary.  I wish there was something I could do to help you, but there isnt, if it makes you feel any better, I had a sad anniversary too. My hubby is in Iraq, so we didnt even get to be together...  But like I said I am sorry and I hope you feel better.



by on Oct. 14, 2007 at 11:08 PM
I am very sorry that your husband acted like that today, especially on such a special occasion.

Amber Proud SAHM

Braeden 9-21-04Timber 8-23-02

by on Oct. 14, 2007 at 11:10 PM
Big hugs to you. Sorry you had to go through that.

Have you asked him why he was feeling like he was?  Sounds like he maybe depressed.
by on Oct. 14, 2007 at 11:12 PM

I am so sorry you had to deal with his crap. I know exactly how you feel hun. My boyfriend doesnt celebrate anything. But I hope you two talk and sort things out. Feel better ok? Take care!

Bye bye- Luv Jessica and baby Devin

You Are My Idea Of Heaven....

by on Oct. 14, 2007 at 11:20 PM
I'm so sorry that you've had a bad day. I know how hurtful it can be, I've had my share of hurtful days to in the past with my exhusband. Some men just don't realize how much it means to us, but maybe he'll try and make it up to you.
by on Oct. 14, 2007 at 11:25 PM
Don't feel bad, you aren't the only husband ruins my birthday and all holidays!! I left him last Christmas!! LoL it gets that bad for us!! My 21st birthday we went to my parents house and got into a big fight about EVERY THING cause when he got off work he was more interested in playing games and talking to our room mate than coming in and saying happy birthday to me and all that!! He didn't even TRY to get me anything!!!! No cake no card no gift...NOTHING! I am with you on the "jealous of happy romantic guys" thing!!!


My profile

by on Oct. 14, 2007 at 11:28 PM
awww sweety, how sad, i feel soo bad for you, you should have left him with the baby and treated yourself out to a movie or something...... Thats awful, watch, he is going to feel bad the next day and buy you something.... Men are just Men
by on Oct. 14, 2007 at 11:30 PM
I am so sorry, but I think it is a male thing. I also think women as a whole think men should be something that most of them aren't  Romantic. Their idea of romantic is sex.

I have been married more than once and they are for the most part the same. Don't be hurt. I know that is easier said than done. A very good friend of mine who happened to be a male told me "don't have any Expectations" and he was right.

I have been married for 9 years, and this one is a good one, not as romantic as I would like, but he is not abusive, gives me all his money, is home every night, we are retired, and for the most part ok.

I wish you all the luck, and Happy Day to you .  If you need someone to talk to I am here.
by on Oct. 14, 2007 at 11:40 PM

Thank you, thank you, thank you!  To all of you.  It makes me cry, but a good cry to have you moms who understand.  I really appreciate it.  Hopefully things will be better tomorrow.

Hugs back to all of you, your comments really helped me.

I wrote him an e-mail he'll get tomorrow.  Here's what I said (in case you're interested) kinda long....

Dear Dustin,

I was just reading a post at that cafemom site and I read about a woman whose husband recently died in a car accident. 

She wrote, "Please everyone, just go in and hug your husbands, cherish everyday and time you have together, and just be thankful."
It made me cry because I just want to be close to you.  Especially on our anniversary.  I want us to have the best possible relationship and I just want to be your friend.  I want us to talk and laugh and just be happy with eachother.  I don't want our love to fade or have us just get "comfortable" with eachother.  I want the passion to stay alive. 

I remember the day we got married so vividly.  I was so happy and so sure about wanting to marry you.  I never, ever doubted how I felt about you then.  You gave me butterflies in my stomach.  I always said that I wouldn't marry anyone that didn't give me butterflies.  I guess that today on our anniversary I thought about how I felt back then and then I got sad because I thought about how I feel now. 
I felt sad that you were far away - you know - distant.  I felt sad that we weren't laughing and just being happy with eachother.  I don't understand what happened.  I know that I could do more, we both could.  Getting caught up in life and the kids makes it difficult to give eachother what we need.
I'm going to try to give you more but I need to know that it's safe, that when I give you things and show affection I need to know that I won't get rejected.  If I have done that to you, I am truly sorry.  I don't mean to, I really don't.  I just get so tired somedays that I just feel like I have an empty tank. 
I love you Dustin, very much, I always will and I will try to show you in more ways.  I feel stronger now and we need to get back to loving eachother.  It's so important, not only for us, but for our children.
Please write me back and let me know that you have read this.  It's very important to me.
There it is, we'll see what happens....
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