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Sunday July 25 Humorscope

Posted by on Jul. 25, 2010 at 6:40 AM
  • 3 Replies

Aries (March 21 - April 19)
You will finally find your spirit guide today, and your life will take on new meaning. Unfortunately for you, your spirit guide will turn out to have a sense of humor.
 
Taurus (April 20 - May 20)
Time for an excursion! Remember to pack some sandwiches, and carry a large ball of twine (it's easy to get lost in the city -- the twine should help).
 
Gemini (May 21 - June 20)
Angst day, today.
 
Cancer (June 21 - July 22)
Remember: loose lips sink ships. The really strange thing is, nobody's ever been able to explain to me why ships have lips in the first place, especially if they're that risky.
 
Leo (July 23 - August 22)
Someone you don't like will make repeated attempts to talk to you today. The best way to handle this is to stuff extremely crunchy food in your mouth during each attempt, and then mumble "What?" while looking at something slightly over their left shoulder.
 
Virgo (August 23 - September 22)
Something is about to become overly intimate with you. Intimacy can be good. Just not with fungus.
 
Libra (September 23 - October 22)
Remember that those who do not learn from history are doomed to repeat it. Normally that's not a big deal, but since your accounting department just changed its name to "The Mongol Horde", you might take notice.
 
Scorpio (October 23 - November 21)
Today you will have a sudden and brilliant idea for how to eliminate the U.S. federal deficit. "Let's all just pretend there isn't one!", you'll say.
 
Sagittarius (November 22 - December 21)
You are about to scare several people out of their socks! It will turn out that they have very ugly feet.
 
Capricorn (December 22 - January 20)
Someone will ask you for your advice. Don't give it! Or if they insist, simply shake your head solemnly, and mutter "Much bad juju", and refuse to clarify. They only want a scapegoat.
 
Aquarius (January 21 - February 18)
Soon, through no fault of your own, you will catch someone underlining words in a library book. It's just one of those signs, you know? Before the Apocalypse.
 
Pisces (February 19 - March 20)
Your parents think your motorcycle is too dangerous, but that's OK. Let's just hope they don't find out that you've been jumping it over the shark tank.

 

 


by on Jul. 25, 2010 at 6:40 AM
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Replies (1-3):
epoh
by on Jul. 25, 2010 at 7:22 AM
Lol!
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
frndlyfn
by Emerald Member on Jul. 25, 2010 at 6:02 PM

BUMP!

frndlyfn
by Emerald Member on Jul. 25, 2010 at 8:01 PM

BUMP!

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