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teaching your kids to wait til marriage for sex.

Posted by on Aug. 7, 2010 at 2:38 AM
  • 36 Replies

I see a lot of people saying they aren't going to teach their kids this...and I just don't understand why. I mean, yeah, sex is fun, don't get me wrong, but don't we all want what is best for our kids?

Birth control can FAIL, is it worth the risk?

I don't know. I plan to teach my son to wait, so that he doesn't end up getting every other weekend with his kid and paying support for the next 18 years. So he doesn't feel like he has to marry someone JUST so he can see his kid. So he's not connected for life to someone he doesn't like, but just happened to like enough to screw at one point in time. So he doesn't end up with random STDs. 

It's not all about 'being good' and all that jazz. There are REAL risks...and I just don't want that for my kid...

What's your opinion?

by on Aug. 7, 2010 at 2:38 AM
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Replies (1-10):
yo_ho
by on Aug. 7, 2010 at 2:42 AM

Ideally, I would tell him to hold out as long as he could. But if I had held out for marriage, I would be divorced and more than likely a victim of domestic violence. The first guy i was with, we were engaged, I thought we were going to be married.

So yeah.

I would tell him to make it special though, be with someone that you have a history with and someone you love.

pandorasbox69
by on Aug. 7, 2010 at 2:45 AM

I married the first douche I slept with. While I agree with your points, I want whatever makes my kids happy. If that means trying before they buy, I support them no matter what!

ErikaM27
by on Aug. 7, 2010 at 2:49 AM

I agree with you. When we raised my sil I taught her about all the risks about sex. She was telling me crazy stories her friends were telling her. I gave her real facts. Read books together, she checked out books from the library. She understood if she was going to have sex there are other risks besides getting pregnant. She waited until she got married which I'm very proud of her for doing. She decided that was best for her. I never asked her to wait but I always told her to really think about the consequences of her actions. I will do the same for my boys.

ProudSingleMum
by on Aug. 7, 2010 at 2:53 AM

Exactly that's what it's about for me. Granted he is only 3...but still...I think about it now. 

Quoting ErikaM27:

I agree with you. When we raised my sil I taught her about all the risks about sex. She was telling me crazy stories her friends were telling her. I gave her real facts. Read books together, she checked out books from the library. She understood if she was going to have sex there are other risks besides getting pregnant. She waited until she got married which I'm very proud of her for doing. She decided that was best for her. I never asked her to wait but I always told her to really think about the consequences of her actions. I will do the same for my boys.


GodsAmiga
by Silver Member on Aug. 7, 2010 at 2:53 AM

I'll be teaching my kids to wait until marriage. My hubby and I made the mistake of giving in to temptation and sleeping together before marriage. We both consider it one of the worst mistakes we ever made. :-( Having my innocence gone before I was married made me feel terrible. I don't ever want that for my children. Not to mention the fact that I'm a Christian and I know that God feels very strongly about this-lol! :-) Does this mean that if they make a mistake like the one I made I'll kick them out or disown them? No, of course not! But I'm not going to teach them that it's okay to do something I know is wrong (yes people can bash me for saying "I know" instead of "I think"-lol! Doesn't change the facts for me). I won't say teach them to wait for marriage and follow it up with, "But if you ever get the urge here's some birth control and/or condoms." Lol! That's a contradiction in itself and I know if my parents had said that I would never have respected what they were trying to teach me because they'd be teaching both which doesn't make sense. IMO. :-) But anyways, I'll always love them no matter what and I hope they'll always feel like they can come to me about anything. :-)

snugglesaurus
by on Aug. 7, 2010 at 2:55 AM

I plan to give my children all the information they need to make their own decisions. The better educated they are, the more well-equipped they are to handle making that kind of decision. But I do plan to emphasize that my kids' worth is not determined by their sex life. No shame + Education. I want my kids to have a healthy sexuality, which is something I have never had thanks to that whole shame thing and the virgin/whore dichotomy...

NellsOgo
by on Aug. 7, 2010 at 2:56 AM
I was taught the exact same way. Both me and dh are each others firsts. I love that no one else slept with him and im the only one, and he thinks the same. Neither of us regret that we didn't sleep with other ppl
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momaof8
by Gold Member on Aug. 7, 2010 at 2:56 AM

I waited , my daughter is waiting and she is 20  It is just smarter to wait for a longtime commitment

ProudSingleMum
by on Aug. 7, 2010 at 2:59 AM

Yeah...see, I'm currently dealing with my BFF who was a virgin when she got married, but her husband wasn't. It's caused problems for them because he doesn't remember their wedding night like she does. Granted this could be just 'their problem' but still...there are TONS of factors to consider when sex is involved, and a LOT of them are life long 'can't take it back' decisions. So I don't see the sense in saying 'well it's all okay if you just go out and have sex with whomever...just use a condom' ya know?

Quoting NellsOgo:

I was taught the exact same way. Both me and dh are each others firsts. I love that no one else slept with him and im the only one, and he thinks the same. Neither of us regret that we didn't sleep with other ppl


MKSmom09
by on Aug. 7, 2010 at 3:01 AM

I am going to teach all of my children the same thing. For the same reasons, I am also going to stress to them that although I did not wait(and birthed them) that I regret my decision to have sex with someone other than whoever it is that my husband will be in the future. I want to be honest with my kids and let them know what the Bible and God have to say about premarital sex

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